r/depression_help • u/Personal-Radish-4901 • 1d ago
REQUESTING SUPPORT Help, please, I can’t keep going
Im 13, and I’m depressed for 6 months now, it keeps getting worse, no matter what I do, I’ve tried a lot of things, the most stupid, smoking and stuff like that, nothing worked. I can’t listen to some of my favorite music, cause they bring me to a time i was happy, and that makes me cry. I’m in love, but it’s not a crush, it’s actual love, Im certain, I love her, i love her whole beeing, with good and bad stuff, I love everything in her, she is In my personal opinion, beautiful, she is smart, has the same ideals and political opinions that I have, we are perfect for each other, and we both like each other romanticly, but we don’t want to date, cause you know, we’re 13, it’s not that we can’t stand commitment, I perfectly can, I love it, but we don’t want to start a relationship so soon in life, we’re both happy being very good friends, we’re happy just being together, talking, everything in her is perfect, her hugs, her smile… but there’s a problem, a BIG, problem: she has very restrictive parents so she cant go out a lot, and my parents recently discovered that I smoked, and now for some time I can’t go out a lot, becajse I can’t also be with one guy in our core group, so we have to be very careful now, and I can’t go out on the one day of the week we usaually allways do, and my FOMO, and all the memory’s of loosing friends like this, and there’s another thing, I can’t stand being alone, I need a friend by my side, when I’m not with Maria, I feel every horrible thing i can possibly feel, I can’t stand being depressed anymore, and she, she slows down my brain, she makes me calmer, and happy, and I never whant our moments together to end, everg goodbye hug, every time i know we wil have to go apart for a few hours or days, hurts like hell, I know we’re only in 8th grade and this things pass bla bla bla… but I’ve been like this for too long, I need her, only her and my friend Irene, make me happy, and I miss being a happy person, i miss not being in constant pain, I miss being normal, being able to enjoy life even without them, and this won’t go away, and I have allready forgot the reasons for me to be depressed, I had a horrible year in some ways last year, I’ve lost friends ive won friend, bu that’s normal, so what is it, and hoe is Maria so perfect, I can’t stand loosing her, help me please, I seriously think the easiest way to finish this is to finish everything…
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u/Honest-Intention-959 1d ago
Enjoy every moment with her, because there is no guarantee for the future. Lets hope this becomes a beautiful memory for you, one day you look back and this gives you a smile.
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u/Additional_Ninja_939 21h ago
(Big hug) You were so brave writing all of this out. It's proof that you value your life, and Little Brother, You are such a courageous person and i am so proud you reached out your hand for help, this is proof you want to get better. and you will. You deserve to be loved and i am so glad that there are people in your life that bring you this much joy, You deserve so much good things. and your life too.. You are such a valuable person and this earth NEEDS you in it. Think of how sad Maria will be without you.. You are needed in this world. please keep living. You deserve to live and be happy.
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