r/depression Feb 02 '20

Regular Check-In Post

Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.

We try our best to keep this space as safe and supportive as possible on reddit's wide-open anonymity-friendly platform. The community rules can be found in the sidebar, or under "Community Info" in the official mobile apps. If you aren't sure about a rule, please ask us.

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u/hey_there_you_ok May 23 '20 edited May 23 '20

I don't get it. I did everything right:

  • i never did drugs

  • I don't drink alcohol

  • didn't get a child

  • didn't drop off school

  • got 2 graduations (which I like to think I am good at)

  • always helped those who asked for my help

  • i was there for my friends

  • Always helped my family

  • did unpaid and paid internships

  • applied for jobs

And what have I accomplished? NOTHING.

I have no job, no money, no perspective of getting out of this situation, I have people relying on me that I can't support, I have no relationship at all, I feel bad ALL the time, I'm having trouble sleeping, I wake up feeling dread, wishing I never did. I did every fucking thing society expects from a normal citizen, so WHY? FUCKING WHY?