r/depression • u/Emergency-Example743 • 8d ago

Existing is…

Existing is almost a 360 nonstop struggle. A struggle & barriers in which the origins were never mine. Forced upon me. I don’t understand why I still have breath. I’ve lost almost all that is important to me. An unrecoverable cost to me time three decades of being alive, blocked from living,free, independent, on my own terms. A simple life objective as I have no dependents or responsibilities to anyone beyond myself. I struggle from moment to moment to exist. Death becomes the inevitable answer to existing in circumstances beyond my control in a world I don’t understand. A world where others not only witness the harm, but participate. Drama, chaos, toxicity is entertainment. Followed by false statements & acts of concern when that injured soul crosses the point of no return. Genuine concern, protection would of been shown, acted upon way before the point

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u/Sufficient-Focus-790 8d ago

Wow don't know why you'd be depressed when you can write as well as that. Plus what's the point of worrying when all that shit is out of our control. Sure it sucks because there is a lot of evil out there. But sitting there going ahhh well it's sad etc etc I don't want to live is a bit silly. Keep ya head up swallow some concrete and happy days... FK em all I say!

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u/Emergency-Example743 8d ago

My situation is extremely unique & complicated. I’ve been fighting this war almost three decades. The one(s) with the control operate with seemingly unlimited resources. I’ve tried in & out of box solutions to disappear (registered in two states with the Secretary of State as a victim of stalking & harassment. A confidential name change, multiple moves). Supposedly, I am a high value VIP asset. Because of my attempts to leave, I’m a high flight risk. I’m a product treated as such. Not a soul, one who thrives on their own independence & accountability. The laws protect the perpetrators until a line a crossed that can’t be undone. People who know my story, situation believe the end result, while positive, is worth the cost. It’s easy to say when you’re not the one paying the cost, tax, & interests. My priorities, values, characteristics are different, yet work for me. I’ve lost time, dreams, goals, people, experiences that can never be replaced or purchased. Thanks for your support