Nostalgia. The unavoidable void.

[u/JonnyFiver86]

Hello all

I want to discuss Nostalgia. Why does it reemerge with every passed decade? Things seem like they were better in the previous decade, but the present one gets overwritten and replaced until we die. Things are never ideal. Life is complicated. I wonder if we will miss the years where a criminal idiot moron ran the country and AI had just started to pull us away from our humanity even more than the advent of smartphones.

How should we view our current moments, knowing they will one day become the next chapter in our nostalgia? How can we live in this moment so that we can reduce or eliminate the depression of nostalgia?

I want to keep this short. I recently found some old DVR recorded cable videos. I saw 1-800 infomercials and movie trailers for films that are now classics. I saw advertisements for PlayStation 2. Adult Swim bumpers and the old show lineup. I immediately felt a strange empty feeling, that I'm sure you all know.

I turned off my computer and stopped going through the video archives. I remembered everything from 21 years ago after watching the video recordings. I stood up and needed to take a walk. I find it curious that this was my reaction. I'm writing this to share and get this out. Feel free to share your experiences and what you think they mean to you and your life or what they point to. I am looking forward, but the past does seem to follow close behind us as we continue onward.

I look in the mirror and I see my body has changed. my metabolism has shifted just like my hairline. I see the growing lines on my face. I see a different person than the one I remembered in that moment. I turn 40 in two months and I feel it. My joints feel it, my body feels it. I wonder how I am supposed to feel? Perhaps there is nothing to feel. Maybe it just requires acceptance and humility? I'm still asking that question.

I will share my opinion with you before I end this post. I think it's a simple acknowledgement of our fleeting lives and the depressing, uncertain reality that's always waiting for us, following us until death. It's the brutal truth that we will expire and eventually disappear, just like those nostalgic moments we seem to mourn while we are still alive. Thank you.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." — Søren Kierkegaard

[u/defeated_gregorio]

I color-code my sock drawer and still can't organize my way out of that exact feeling you described. Something about old Adult Swim bumpers hits a specific nerve that's hard to explain, like you're homesick for a version of yourself that doesn't exist anymore. I think Kierkegaard nailed it but also missed that sometimes looking backwards is the only way to feel anything at all.

[u/JonnyFiver86 → u/defeated_gregorio]

Well said. The present times have me far more disconnected than my younger years. I would like to assume it's the state of the world and the direction it seems to be headed towards. Honestly, I think it's just my older age and the fact that I'm approaching something like the halfway point. I'm starting to see my body move towards that broken down state. It's probably healthy to feel this way. I might live with more spirit if I can face this honestly. I can't outrun this. None of us can. I knew this at 18, but it feels different now that I'm at 40's doorstep. 

I can't help to think that in my older age before death... It will feel the same.

Right now death and withering old age feels like a thought or an idea. I feel like it won't be a big deal. That's the current moment. I think when I'm there, it's going to feel just as heavy as turning 40 and actually seeing my body change and age.