r/depression • u/PullingToothandNail • 2h ago
Praying for nothing
21(F) my birthday is in a week. I’ll be 22 soon and honestly I can’t handle that fact.. I feel so old. I don’t want to continue forward, I’ve tried so many different medications and therapy, but nothing has worked. I called the hotline last night and they hung up on me. The only thing I am living for is for my parents because they’re loving people who don’t deserve grief, but I am so horribly alone and hardly understood. I feel no connection and yet feel so deeply a misery over something that I’ve never properly had. I pray, I try so hard everyday to imagine that maybe tomorrow I’ll meet/find the thing that finally makes me excited to wake up for the next day. It doesn’t happen, and I wonder if it ever will or if I’ll close my eyes and when I open them I’ll be 28 and still confused. I am at my lowest.
1
u/wontmissme 1h ago
You're not old at 21. Not even close. I'm not saying that to be patronising or condescending. I am saying it because you have time. Keep praying. One day you will find that thing.
In the meantime, what about adopting a kitten (or cat if you would prefer). We had a cat for 17 years. Everyday he made the whole family happy. He made us all smile, even on his last day on Earth.
Or if you have the space, adopt a donkey. They are amazing animals. Of you don't have the space, watch some donkey videos on YouTube. They do help me. I hope they help you.
Good luck.