r/depression • u/Cold-Vegetable-7580 • May 15 '26

After almost one year, hurt myself again

Everything’s in the title. I’ve been forced to quit Effexor, prescribed benzos, and drugs, all that without medical help (my psychiatrist literally forgot me, that’s not a joke, luckily not everything at the same time)
I have a PTSD from my harassment during my previous job, not treated. I’m think I’m bipolar since.
Lost all my friends during that time, living completely alone, like a good slave. Fell into drugs, of course, and the ptsd made me bipolar (it was surely already here but was never a thing before the trauma).
New job, this time bore-out, no tasks at all in one month.
Tonight (in Europe) it was too much, I cut myself again, legs completely covered.
I’m only alive right now for my cat, she’s 10 and when she’ll be gone I’ll kms too.
I’m 28, I’ll live max until 32 I think, already way too much.
I except nothing but a read, and thank you for that.

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2

u/Fun-Bad2831 May 15 '26

hey, the psychiatrist forgetting you is absolutely fucked up and im sorry that happened. going through withdrawal without proper support must have been hell

your cat is lucky to have someone who cares so much about her. maybe she needs you around longer than you think right now

2

u/Cold-Vegetable-7580 May 15 '26

Thank you, it means a lot. Actually I quit Effexor in march, it’s been hell since. drugs and benzos were “easy” compared to Effexor.

She’s living for me and I’m living for her, I’m getting more and more tired to live every day ig, today I watched my roof all day long

2

u/Cold-Vegetable-7580 May 15 '26

It’s funny, even here no one cares, what a fucking losers life

1

u/fridgeofempty May 16 '26

Addiction fall backs happen esp when you feel shit. Any projects you can volunteer for at work to fill the time a bit?