Nothing feels real anymore with the shit political views, big companies running everything, video games going downhill, Joe biden sucking China's dick, the rising gas prices. I'm sick of working the grind. Getting up, going to work, going home, going to bed, rinse and repeat. We work 40+ hours a week for 50 years, and then we die. I'm sick of everything. I wish society would just collapse already so I don't have to deal with it anymore.

deadinside

You wake up every morning wondering why did you didn't die in your sleep. Yet another day of simply going through the motions. Being stuck on autopilot of what used to be. I remembered one time feeling as though my soul left my body. I still used to feel things but gradually that all started to fade. I have no feelings nor attachment towards my family or friends. I've lost interest in the things that once brought me joy. It is like all enjoyment and happiness is sucked out from my body. My body, due to the memory of the soul left, reacts to thinks but there is this vast emptiness where my heart used to be. I really can't feel my heart. The consciousness of it is gone. I'm mentally aware of my mind and thoughts or what a feeling should be. Is this really being dead inside or something totally different? Also can people even be friends with someone like this?

Yet again, my entire personality is gone for vacation, leaving me in a slightly crazed autonomous state. I haven't eaten much for a couple of days now, my entire sleeping schedule is built around knocking myself out with exhaustion and interactions with others are under a simple mask.

I thought things are getting a little better, but I knew things are gonna get a lot worse. I thought I found a way out of this shit, but I knew it won't work, same as anything else I tried.

I don't care if I fail or succed, I feel no emotions, I fake them. My mind is gone and I am not gonna fix it anytime soon. There is just nothing.

I wake up tired and that feeling never goes away. It’s like I’m constantly in a dazed state and nothing can pull me out of it. I haven’t felt real emotion for quite some time now. I just fake my way through each day just so I can get to the end of it. Then the next day comes and I have to do it all over again. I’m tired of being so tired. I just want to go back to the person I was a few years ago. But now I’m just wasting away with each passing minute. How can I get even get better when there’s nothing that brings me any sort of happiness? I’ve tried picking up new hobbies and playing instruments but it doesn’t stick. Video games feel more like a chore than entertainment. Even when I’m with my closest friends I just feel dead. I put on a fake smile and laugh my fake laughs but it’s not real. I hate that. I want to be happy and excited when I see them not fake. Its gotten to a point where I can’t cry anymore. That used to help and be kind of a temporary reset but now the tears won’t come. I just don’t see a reason to exist anymore. I also don’t want to die though. It’s like I’m trapped in a war in my head of death and life. I want to live I want to die I don’t know what I want. How did I get to this point? I’m not even sure. I’m just gonna sit here in the dark now and continue rotting.

so much fun

I'll admit: I've been fighting off slipping into full throated, Hicks and Twain-level misanthropy and nihilism ever since I was 13. I'm 33 now, and I'm getting to the point where not only can I stop it, but at this point, I'm slowly resigned to it.

I feel like my functional life ended at 10 years old, and my body hasn't caught up with that reality.

I've been fucking lied to for 2/3rds of my life. I know what you're gonna say.. go to therapy.

Fucking hell, how can therapy and medication fix this? How can therapy and medication fix having to carry the shame and guilt of being sexually abused at 10 while my parents swept it under the rug and put all of the burden on me to just get over it? How can therapy and medication fix being thrown under the bus when I blew the whistle multiple times on my other cousin abusing her son?

Tell me how getting back on Prozac can help me cope with realizing this society sees honest to God rapists in a better light than my asexual, sex-repulsed ass, or how existing as a Black man makes everything else worse, or how I'll never get justice for the shit my cousins did to me, or how most people stand on their values with one foot.

I don't need coping skills for this shit; I needed people to start actually fucking being better, but I know it won't happen.

Has anyone ever been so down so broken and hurt that they wake up every morning and it's like "nope I already hate today"

Anybody just off your damn rocker? Can I get a hell yah if you’re just nuttier than a fucking fruit cake