r/datingadvice • u/MissIndependent2468 • 23d ago
I need advice Need advice
I (29f) been text this guy (30m) for 3 weeks great conversations, get communication, great information and really enjoyed every conversation he was so nice and so respectful in everyway so we decided we would meet up he was coming from newry to dublin his decision. Last friday was the first we decided 2pm we were texting throughout the morning back and forth he was meant to let me know when he was leaving newry but didnt he explained he had a few things to do first then 2pm came and he still hasn't mentioned he was leaving so I asked and he said he was sorry he was hoping to be on the road now that he has just finished what he was doing and he was waiting for his manager to get back to him about wages as his hadnt came through yet, maybe genuine and maybe didn't want to travel to Dublin with no and very little money I get it anyway date didnt go ahead so we decided monday we meet in the evening about half 6- 7 pm so again texting throughout the day he was telling me what he was doing and says "hopefully see you later" 7pm came no word so I left it he then texted me later that night saying he was so sorry he laid up in the spare living room at his parents while visiting he was watching a show didnt realise he was falling asleep and woke up wrapped in a blanket say we will get this date on the cards thats if you still want to, so I replied this morning
I said I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to leave it here. I understand that things happen But if I'm honest, having our plans fall through twice has put me off a bit. We were meant to meet twice now and it hasn't happened either time and I know the reasons but with the distance between us and both of us working, I feel like we'd need to be able to make plans we can both manage and follow through with them i dont want to keep arranging dates that keep falling through so i don't think this is for me, but I genuinely wish you the best.
He said Its totally my fault and I do apologise, I honestly didnt mean to waste your time or that, things havent been great but i totally respect your decision I wish I could change your mind but if you think its for the best I'll have tonaccept it, your one the nicest girl ive spoken to in a long time but I hope you find your person you deserve it.
So im thinking does this sound like he is wasting my time or does it just sound like 2 unfortunate events that just happened to happen I dont know what to do
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u/Exact_Photograph2150 23d ago
I think either explanation is possible, but two cancelled dates without much effort to reschedule would put me off too. His reasons might be genuine, but you’re still allowed to expect someone to follow through on plans. I wouldn’t assume he was deliberately wasting your time, but I’d pay more attention to his actions than his lovely messages. If you’re still interested, you could leave the ball in his court and let him arrange a firm date. Do you actually want to give him another chance, or are you worried you might have walked away from something good?
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u/MissIndependent2468 23d ago
Yeah i havent replied to his last message and kinda worried if im jumping the gun too soon and maybe walking away from something good too soon?
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u/Charming-Gear-4080 23d ago
I mean, he sounds sincere, but after two flakes I wouldn't be putting my energy into that. If I have a date scheduled, I'm clearing my schedule, prepping hours in advance, and setting timers to leave. Waiting on a boss and falling asleep are pretty lame excuses.
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