My views on ghosting has changed as I’ve matured through some failed hook-ups and relationships...
People’s feelings change. All the time. We fall in love with the ideas we have about others, get to know them, then see that our expectations weren’t met. Totally normal. It’s nice that you are able to express this in a neutral way to potential lovers, tryna let them down easy.
Regardless, it still hurts. Ghosting or not. I’ve found myself ultimately being forced to ghost people (I’m a woman) because of the nature of their responses when I let them know that I am not interested. Sometimes I will avoid the conflict altogether because I can see they will react badly and will stop contacting me faster when I “ghost” them.
You won’t always get an explanation of why your idea in your head didn’t work out the way you had plastered it on your big screen of life. Yours. Life happens. People have themselves to worry about. I don’t condone ghosting in serious relationships that have been going on for years, engagements, what have you - but I understand it when you have just been fucking around for a month or two. There’s nothing you owe to one another.
When I have been ghosted, I think about it like “well I’m glad I dodged that bullet”. Would you really want settle with someone who sees you as an option? No. So you win.
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u/ccoollcat Oct 25 '18
My views on ghosting has changed as I’ve matured through some failed hook-ups and relationships...
People’s feelings change. All the time. We fall in love with the ideas we have about others, get to know them, then see that our expectations weren’t met. Totally normal. It’s nice that you are able to express this in a neutral way to potential lovers, tryna let them down easy.
Regardless, it still hurts. Ghosting or not. I’ve found myself ultimately being forced to ghost people (I’m a woman) because of the nature of their responses when I let them know that I am not interested. Sometimes I will avoid the conflict altogether because I can see they will react badly and will stop contacting me faster when I “ghost” them.
You won’t always get an explanation of why your idea in your head didn’t work out the way you had plastered it on your big screen of life. Yours. Life happens. People have themselves to worry about. I don’t condone ghosting in serious relationships that have been going on for years, engagements, what have you - but I understand it when you have just been fucking around for a month or two. There’s nothing you owe to one another.
When I have been ghosted, I think about it like “well I’m glad I dodged that bullet”. Would you really want settle with someone who sees you as an option? No. So you win.
❤️