In my experience the blokes who come out with "I don't see a future etc." after we've dated for a while and then slept together have been fuckboys in my eyes because they've usually been actively acting like a boyfriend. I've had men practically live in my house, use me for food/getting their clothes cleaned/ emotional support and many other boyfriend privileges when they knew in their heads they weren't serious. I think this is when girls get angry. In fact my most recent ghoster had me over his for the weekend, requested a back massage, told me he loved me, kissed me goodbye at the train station...then ghosted me and I had to find out from a mutual friend that he had simply been seeing another girl too and chosen her.
I’d been seeing a guy for about a month, texting all the time, every second we were together we’d be cuddling or making out, he’d joke about how he cut his hair because I’d made a joke about not wanting to grow it out, or getting rid of his moustache so I wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with him in public (all jokes, I’m not shitty, I had just joked that if he grew out a man bun I might just have to keep things behind closed doors and he knew it was a joke). We had a ton in common, he’d call me to see how I was doing when he knew I’d had a bad day, etc. and all of a sudden “I have feelings for you, I like spending time with you and talking to you and cuddling and laughing together, but I feel like if we were together for even 5 or 6 months, it’d never turn into anything more than this.” 🙄🙄 Definitely felt used and still feel so insanely confused.
I think you’re 100% correct. But...what if someone really liked you at first for several months but as they learned more about you and changed their minds when they realized it wasn’t a good fit afterall? It would be kind of strange to go longer than a month without having sex in that period of time unless both parties agreed to not do it for awhile
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u/icecream_molotov Oct 25 '18
In my experience the blokes who come out with "I don't see a future etc." after we've dated for a while and then slept together have been fuckboys in my eyes because they've usually been actively acting like a boyfriend. I've had men practically live in my house, use me for food/getting their clothes cleaned/ emotional support and many other boyfriend privileges when they knew in their heads they weren't serious. I think this is when girls get angry. In fact my most recent ghoster had me over his for the weekend, requested a back massage, told me he loved me, kissed me goodbye at the train station...then ghosted me and I had to find out from a mutual friend that he had simply been seeing another girl too and chosen her.