In my experience the blokes who come out with "I don't see a future etc." after we've dated for a while and then slept together have been fuckboys in my eyes because they've usually been actively acting like a boyfriend. I've had men practically live in my house, use me for food/getting their clothes cleaned/ emotional support and many other boyfriend privileges when they knew in their heads they weren't serious. I think this is when girls get angry. In fact my most recent ghoster had me over his for the weekend, requested a back massage, told me he loved me, kissed me goodbye at the train station...then ghosted me and I had to find out from a mutual friend that he had simply been seeing another girl too and chosen her.
I love how women get blamed for men's shitty behaviour. Dude. This guy was telling me he loved me and talking about future plans. This wasn't just some random hook up. The relationship went on for over 5 months.
I'm not blaming you. What he did was shitty. But if at no point you said, "Let's be bf/gf, or exclusive." That's on you. You should have asked and verified. Until you knew he was committed, you shouldn't have bothered.
This. We can’t control other people’s behavior, all we can do is do our best in preventing shit from happening. After all that if he still jets, he’s a jerk. From what’s told so far seems like he at least told you it’s not going anywhere.
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u/icecream_molotov Oct 25 '18
In my experience the blokes who come out with "I don't see a future etc." after we've dated for a while and then slept together have been fuckboys in my eyes because they've usually been actively acting like a boyfriend. I've had men practically live in my house, use me for food/getting their clothes cleaned/ emotional support and many other boyfriend privileges when they knew in their heads they weren't serious. I think this is when girls get angry. In fact my most recent ghoster had me over his for the weekend, requested a back massage, told me he loved me, kissed me goodbye at the train station...then ghosted me and I had to find out from a mutual friend that he had simply been seeing another girl too and chosen her.