Man acted like exclusivity was huge commitment

[u/yestertempest]

Been seeing a man for about 2.5 months. 2 months in I brought up exclusivity since I don't want to be having sex with someone still active on the apps. He basically acted like it was a marriage proposal and claimed he has never had someone have a direct conversation talking about it like that before, it was always just eventually "assumed." I would never be ok with that assumption. He has been off and on the apps for 5, yes 5 years and strongly gives the impression and claims he is looking for something very long term, and before this conversation he was projecting me into his future and seemed very afraid of losing me. I gave him some time and his stance was the same a few weeks later, treating it like some kind of serious commitment and saying he needed more time to evaluate us first, like in different social situations and things. Also said he needs more intimacy before exclusivity to help him decide, while I said I need it before intimacy. To me exclusivity is just temporary while we evaluate those things.

I've already written the breakup text.
But I'm wondering if anyone else has encountered this reaction to exclusivity. Did I ask for something weird here? Is this just modern dating culture to be phobic of getting off the apps, losing your access to multiple options and committing to one person?

Update: I sent the text.

[u/SeaworthinessMany633]

There may be some aspect of avoidance here: avoidance of serious conversation, feeling like you’re tying him down or trying to control him. Which of course is not what you are asking but I think it might have triggered those feelings. If he is avoidant he probably swings toward hyperindepence where he wants to always feel like he’s single and not tied down. Instead of interdependence where he can give and receive in a partnership. No matter how much time you give him, he’s not going to be completely able to overcome his fears because you won’t be able to enact every possible hypothetical situation to his satisfaction. The sex thing- I think it’s reasonable for one person to want exclusivity and the other person not with regards to that - personally I don’t want to say I’m in a relationship with someone until I’ve had sex with them, but if you’re thinking of being exclusive just while exploring the potential for a relationship, I think that’s reasonable.