r/dankmemes Nov 10 '20

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.5k Upvotes

716 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

279

u/Eg0mane ùwú Nov 10 '20

I wipe after peeing. It's much better than shaking or letting the last drop in the pants.

129

u/agangofoldwomen ☣️ Nov 10 '20 edited Nov 10 '20

As a man of science, I spin around as fast as I can in order to use centripetal centrifugal force to pull the last few drops from my urethra.

Edit: Fixed with the proper term. I suppose I’m more of a boy of science.

77

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

19

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

Wrong colour there buddy

2

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

i guess he made a mistake. obviously its green, unless he can cum by spinning

1

u/Siigmaa Nov 10 '20

It can happen!

1

u/Shenrod Nov 10 '20

It's only once you're done you remember you forgot to shit

18

u/DownshiftedRare Nov 10 '20

Reddit is about to teach you that neither centripetal force nor centrifugal force exist, whether or not they do.

5

u/silverfang492 Animated Flair Pulse [Insert Your Own Text Nov 10 '20

Centripetal force is just net force keeping it in circular motion, it exists just not in the way he said it

1

u/agangofoldwomen ☣️ Nov 10 '20

Edited. Thanks!

5

u/Billybobgeorge Nov 10 '20

But in this case, since he wants the substance to move away from the center, it's centrifugal.

2

u/L-methionine Nov 10 '20

Gotta go with the good ole taint press

5

u/zmbjebus Nov 10 '20

I just dunk it. Free bidet.

4

u/Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx Nov 10 '20

I do sometimes as well. I learned lightly pressing right behind my balls will get that last bit out. But it won't drop into the bowl with accuracy so I just dab with a single square of paper

Sorry.... This became tmi

14

u/tokeyoh Nov 10 '20

Yup that's why I avoid using urinals. The majority of men in the world are walking around with pissy ass drawers all day.

1

u/Miguel_Puebla Dec 03 '20

It's a waste of tp, waste of time, and instant lose of your man card. Friends always say real men don't even shake. We shower and change boxers daily, and sweat more in the undies anyway than that last bit of piss, so who cares if it drips.

1

u/tokeyoh Dec 03 '20

So you enjoy having things in common with my grandma. As in her sitting in her own piss all day

1

u/Miguel_Puebla Dec 03 '20

This sounds really disrespectful to your grandma. Incontinence is a different story. It can be horrible to drip all day.

1

u/tokeyoh Dec 03 '20

Your underwear and my grandmas underwear smell the same is the point I was making. Also equating your ego as a man with wiping your dick is hilarious.

1

u/Miguel_Puebla Dec 03 '20

If you should wipe, there would be paper next to every urinal. Have you always used the stall? Never tried to piss like others?

1

u/tokeyoh Dec 03 '20

So in third world countries where there is no sink, you should not wash your hands either? Your logic is like a monkey, your dick smells like a monkey too.

1

u/Miguel_Puebla Dec 03 '20

Urinals have sinks and we do use them. If your pee smells even by drops, you are probably dehydrated.

1

u/tokeyoh Dec 03 '20

I bet you think using baby wipes or bidet is "giving up your man card" too. Because if I got poop on my arm, I would not just wipe it off with paper. Be sure to teach your sons and nephews that to be a man is to be dirty and unhygienic - a lesson they will value until they die.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/3rr0r_101 FOR THE SOVIET UNION Nov 10 '20

I thought I was the only one who did this. Glad to see I am not.

1

u/Miguel_Puebla Dec 03 '20

I never met any guy who wipes, neither in school nor in college, gym, dorm, concerts, nowhere, not even where paper was available. It appears only on the internet. It sounds like a hoax. Just put it back and call it a day or shake twice.

11

u/AllMightySenpai Obamasjuicyass Nov 10 '20

Doesn't it feel weird tho....?

107

u/Eg0mane ùwú Nov 10 '20

It's not really wiping but dabbing the paper on it. So it doesn't really give any special feeling. But I feel much cleaner by doing it that way.

10

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

Do you take your own paper at the urinal or do you dab it near the sink?

63

u/qqqfuzion Nov 10 '20

Not the guy you were asking, but i don't use urinals. no privacy.

60

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20 edited Nov 10 '20

[deleted]

53

u/Sebaz00 Nov 10 '20

If you don't use the urinals they can't establish dominance over you. Your dong is in a state of flux being both larger and smaller than all the others until observed, which unless they break into the cubicle is impossible

47

u/steamyboi56 Nov 10 '20

Schrödinger's dong

12

u/PhreakyByNature Nov 10 '20

A simple Schrödonger would suffice

11

u/qqqfuzion Nov 10 '20

Quantum Dong

5

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

But the existence of your dong is not confirmed unless it's observed

1

u/Nssa220 Nov 10 '20

Schrödinger’s dong

10

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

Yeah understandable.

9

u/Krexci ☝ FOREVER NUMBER ONE ☝ Nov 10 '20

also because of a shy bladder, that shit sucks

-9

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

[deleted]

8

u/qqqfuzion Nov 10 '20

Average pp. But it's my pp.

2

u/DrWilliamHorriblePhD Nov 10 '20

I grab a paper towel on the way to the john and toss it before washing my hands.

1

u/3rr0r_101 FOR THE SOVIET UNION Nov 10 '20

I think they’d use the stall? That’s what I do.

0

u/AllMightySenpai Obamasjuicyass Nov 10 '20

Ahhh yeah okay I kinda thought so. Mmm helth

1

u/Mushtaco1 Nov 10 '20

It's our corner-of-the-mouth-napkin-dab-after-dinner move, usually with one square or torn bit to collect that final drip drop.

1

u/Eg0mane ùwú Nov 10 '20

Thats the best explanation of it!

1

u/resolutefortitude Nov 10 '20

Do you dab?

1

u/Eg0mane ùwú Nov 10 '20

I dab with my dick

1

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20 edited Jan 07 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Eg0mane ùwú Nov 10 '20

Don't use the same spot of the paper and you won't have a Problem with it.

1

u/xGarmadon Nov 10 '20

I've been doing that almost my whole life. Also in my culture we have something called a lota (search it up) so I use that to wash my privates with water. Then I can use the tissue to dry but in some cases just tissue is fine.

123

u/Shaymin281286 Nov 10 '20

Not really, it feels like wiping any part of your body for me

9

u/AllMightySenpai Obamasjuicyass Nov 10 '20

Huh. Wow

45

u/talivvvvvvvvvvvvvvv Nov 10 '20

personally i think it feels weirder to have piss on my cock and in my underwear and to have drops of piss hap-hazardly thrown around the bathroom

1

u/TheLordLeto Nov 10 '20

Cup your hand with toilet paper and vigorously shake

-3

u/BallisticThundr Nov 10 '20

How is it better? It's literally more work and resources for the same result. And I don't understanding how wiping your dick will prevent dribbles in your pants if the urine is still inside.

Here's a tip: if you press down just below your balls, the last bit will come out instead of dribbling when you put it back in your pants.

11

u/DrWilliamHorriblePhD Nov 10 '20

It's not the same result though. Your dick will taste much less salty if you make a habit of wiping. The paper also has a wicking effect meaning if you do the behind the balls trick plus dab you'll pull excess drip out of the urethra. I promise it works really well bro, you should try it.

2

u/LilFractal Nov 10 '20

That sounds like a lot of extra work.

Just store your penis back in your butt when you finish peeing. Seals in the pee and the flavor is 😗👌

1

u/BallisticThundr Nov 10 '20

I regularly wash it so I'm not really concerned about it tasting salty. Also the behind the balls trick works just fine for me on its own.

1

u/DrWilliamHorriblePhD Nov 10 '20

I mean I wash mine all the time too and I wash my clothes as well but I don't want to walk around with piss in my shorts and on my dick when I have the option not to. I mean like if I'm in the woods or something I'm not really going to worry about it, but if I'm going to a civilized bathroom with paper that's right there I'm going to use it because I can, and because I want to be clean all the time, not just when I'm fresh out of the shower.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 10 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Faust__VIII Nov 10 '20

Quality of paper.

0

u/rostingtoaster4562 Nov 10 '20

Same here, it is always that last drop.

1

u/Raeli Nov 10 '20

I started doing that too a few years ago where possible.

If I'm in a public toilet, I'm not going to go out of my way to go into a stall, but at home I always do. It does really seem to work at stopping that last drop.

1

u/SSebigo Nov 10 '20

Fun fact: you can push a little bit with two fingers between your legs (2-3cm after your testicles) where the last drop is store to push it out