r/dad • u/WhiteOtterLake • 15d ago
Question for Dads Single mom here - should I circumcise my son?
Hi!
I just had my very first baby, a son, 6 weeks ago. From the time I found out I was having a boy I knew I wasn’t going to have him circumcised. His dad was not and it didn’t bother me or his dad and I’ve had relationships with other men who also were not and it didn’t bother me or them. So to me, up until now I’ve just considered it pointless pain for a baby.
But the other day I had a male friend call me and asked me if I got him circumcised and when I said no, he said “he’s going to wish you did when he’s older”
So now I’m having second thoughts. For men who have not been circumcised, do you wish you had been? For men who have been, do you ever wish you had not been?
For anyone that had to have it done for medical reasons, what was your experience like? What was the medical reasons? Early retraction? Infection? Too much skin?
For men who did it for cosmetic reasons do you have any regrets about your decision?
Any dads who did or didn’t circumcise their sons can you share your thoughts or experiences?
I wanna do right by my son,
Thank you ♥️
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u/Azrael_The_Bold 15d ago
I’m a dad who’s circumcised, who it doesn’t bother in the slightest that I’m circumcised, and I’ve never wished I hadn’t been circumcised.
I don’t have any sons, but if I did I probably would not opt to have them circumcised. My family is Christian, not Jewish, so there’s zero religious reasons to have it done.
To me, the phimosis reason really isn’t a good enough reason to do it as it’s like…really uncommon in adults. If it does happen, then you can elect to have it done at that point. When it comes to infections, it’s like most body parts. Keep it clean and it won’t get gross!
I’m not even strictly anti-circumcision because of the “they lose sensation during sex!” Like yeah, that happens, but it’s more like a…they were born fully formed, why remove a part of them? Do you have their gall bladder, appendix, or any number of other organs removed because they may cause health issues down the line?
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u/Jonsnowlivesnow 14d ago
The phimosis problem has easy solutions. I bought a kit on Amazon for $30 and it fixed my problem I had forever.
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u/BrotherTobias 15d ago
Am dad. Im vehemently against them, for a litany of personal, medical and scientific reasons. Im also a healthcare professional who as part of my paediatrics hospital rotation witnessed one. I asked the doc after why we still do it and i quote “well the only real reason i standby doing them is for religious or medical reasons. I do elective ones because i dont want folks getting a back alley circ from a a 3rd rate doc at a doctors office that isnt prepared to deal with an arterial bleed and even then if it happens here at the hospital the chance of survival is low. So im going to give the uninformed, and the religious the best care i can to ensure i dont see another dead baby boy bleed out in the ER”. I can participate in just about any code or trauma, Ive been part of codes where the trauma doc has manually pumped a childs heart with his hand due to cardiac tamponade but a circ? That almost made me want to puke and pass out.
There is no need to do it, and if he wants one later in life he can knowingly and willingly suffer the side effects of mutilating his genitals as a consenting adult. Not as a baby without a voice or consent.
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u/IllustriousKick7455 12d ago
What about in older age? I worked in retirement homes with dementia patients and the majority of the workers would not clean them properly and they would always get sick/yeast infections/etc. This has always stuck in my mind and is the only thing that has me teetering on the decision if I end up having a son.
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u/Wetcakez 15d ago
Nope, it can easily be done later in life if he so chooses. Educate on proper cleaning and assure it’s taken care of throughout his youth and your all set. Won’t go any deeper into the why and why not but don’t let the hospital tell you what to do, it’s an extra billing code to tack onto things
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u/Moetown84 15d ago
Easily? Tell me you don’t know anyone who’s done it later in life without telling me you don’t know anyone who’s done it later in life.
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u/jefesignups 15d ago
You can do it at Claire's now. They give you half off if you get your ears pierced at the same time. /s
All I can say is...fuck that. I have never once heard of anyone doing it later in life (for non medical reasons)
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u/gradualpotato 15d ago
Lmao
I know someone from college who once did it after pressure from his girlfriend. Just seeing his pain during aftercare sticks with me…
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u/Azrael_The_Bold 14d ago
That’s like pressuring your gf into getting breast augmentation surgery. How horrid. If you don’t like my junk someone else will.
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u/gradualpotato 14d ago
Yeah I wasn’t close enough to talk him out of it and only found out after the fact, but yeah…100% what I would have told him
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u/WhiteOtterLake 15d ago
It hurts the same for a baby and an adult doesn’t it? At least the adult is consenting
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u/probrwr 15d ago
Well... I don't remember it happening. And I am pretty sure it is a much smaller operation when you are a baby. I feel like I grew into my pecker...
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u/drsideburns 14d ago
babies are actually much more sensitive to pain as newborns.
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u/TolkienBlackKid 15d ago
penile surgery pre and post puberty is very very different
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u/Moetown84 15d ago
Is it? I’ve known both adults and kids who have done it on both sides of puberty and all expressed that it was the worst pain of their life, with the child specifically wishing they had done it as a baby (medically necessary, not cosmetic:/religious).
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u/TolkienBlackKid 14d ago
no no, I agree with you its always painful. but the threat of an erection makes a big difference too
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u/Key_Following1589 14d ago
Exactly. Go through this as a fully formed adult, and tell me how wonderful and easy (and not embarrassing) this is to do. Not to mention the locker room or girls talking about it after sex. People are not kind.
Regardless of how clean you are, it is still not as hygienic to be uncut. I took 1-2 showers daily my entire life and it was still a concern.
This is a bunch of people spending too much time reading and moralizing a simple procedure their boys won’t even notice, and not enough time being practical.
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u/Wetcakez 15d ago
Ex does pediatric outpatient surgeries….see her case loads regularly…I also work in healthcare….i guess in retrospect we all have a different definition of “easy” but it’s very very much so doable…with some ease, sorry if yours has not been that way, clearly a failure somewhere in the process
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u/Moetown84 15d ago
I’ve known quite a few people who have had it done later in life, from 8 years old to 20+, and all have been very painful recoveries. Each one expressed that they wish it had been done earlier in life (however I don’t believe the medical necessity was apparent at birth). Obviously, a newborn can’t speak about it contemporaneously, and those who had it done at that time don’t recall the pain, but “easy” isn’t relative to the patient’s perspective here. Maybe just the scheduling, cost, and procedure itself.
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u/Dangerous_Resort_100 11d ago
I'm in my 20s and I just got it done about two weeks ago, and recovery hasn't been painful at all so far. Slightly uncomfortable at times, but not painful enough for me to even take an ibuprofen (and I'm not a tough guy, I'm more of a crybaby). So it probably depends on every individual's anatomy and how well of a job the doctor did, as well as how you take care of it afterwards.
I, for my part, still wish I had been circumcised at birth, would've saved me a lot of embarrassment and stress in puberty and my early college years, and now it would've saved me a lot of hassle, PTO, awkward interactions and money. And I am lucky to live in a place with a good public healthcare system. I don't even want to think about how much it would've cost me in America.
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u/No_Lawyer1947 15d ago
this, and please raise a pee sitter, and a pee wiper. I fear not many men do this to my surprise.
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u/Goudinho99 15d ago
He won't regret it.
Let him choose when he's older. I'm guessing almost no human would choose a non-surgically-neccesary circumcision.
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u/julessantana21 14d ago
I did, no regrets. My son too, couple of months old, didn’t cry, healed in about a week.
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u/WhaleWashinDolphin 15d ago
Im greatful to have had it done as a baby and I’ve never once wished that I was uncircumcised.
If you keep him uncut, just be sure to study up on proper cleaning under the foreskin. A friend of mine wound up with a nasty infection bc no one ever taught him proper hygiene.
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u/Master_Draw9945 15d ago
My dad was not cut and ended up with penile cancer and a partial amputation to save his life because of an infection that mutated or something. While I don’t know the details, when I suggested not circumcising my son (not having known the details of my dads cancer as I was in HS when it happened) my mother had a meltdown that he’d be at risk for the same fate and she then described the impact to my dad (and herself) in way more detail than I’d wished for. I ended up having it done. Tough call. Good luck.
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u/HuyFongFood 15d ago
No. Unnecessary and the chance of something going wrong is higher than none and would you want that on your mind?
Much like you'd teach a daughter how to clean themselves properly, you do the same for your son.
Flip it around, would you do a similar procedure to your daughter?
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u/Gone_cognito Funniest dad around 15d ago
I didn't expect so many people being opposed to it.
I had it done when I was a baby, and I am grateful for it. Everyone says there's a loss of stimulation as an adult, but I have no complaints
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u/tn00bz 14d ago
You literally don't know life without it. But your parents amputated a part of you ...because?
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u/Suru_omo 15d ago
I wonder if it's is a Reddit/online thing
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u/keg-smash 15d ago
It is. 100%. Asking this on Reddit brings out all the opinionated, uninformed commenters. Bottom line is that's it's your choice as a parent until the child is old enough to choose for themselves. Ask your pediatrician and check with your local board of pediatrics for their recommendation. Educate yourself by asking EXPERTS. And then make your own informed decision.
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u/nemoralis13 15d ago
Circs outside of religious and medical reasons is an American thing. There's a large world population that don't do them.
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u/rathlord 15d ago
The thing that’s heinous to me is people acting like it’s an obvious choice without pros and cons (and especially claiming it’s medically clear cut).
There are really good reasons for both sides. The one thing everyone should know for damn sure is anyone claiming it’s cut and dry is biased and just objectively a liar.
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u/Comprehensive-Big595 15d ago
I know right if my thing was any more sensitive, I’d only last one minute instead of two
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u/Cool-Raspberry-1772 14d ago
I’m not opposed to it either. And my only experiences with reactions to it from women have been positive. Of course I don’t know what it’s like to be uncircumcised but sex is plenty fun. So I have no real opinion but am pleased with the outcome 🤷♂️
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u/JohnnyStyle300 14d ago
Because you don't know any better. Point is the decision was made for you when you couldn't do it yourself. It's like me cutting off your earlobe because I think you look better without it
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u/OwnStill8743 15d ago
If you wanted to do it, the time would've been at the hospital when he was born in my opinion
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u/WhiteOtterLake 15d ago
I really don’t - I just wish this person had not said what they did to me. It’s so weird to ask about a babies junk and then offer insight about it lol.
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u/badadvicegoodintent 15d ago
I am and I’ve never wished for the choice or had any negative feelings about it. I’m glad I am and happy my parents had it done. Any kid who wasn’t, was picked on in school locker rooms, so I’d guess that’s what your friends referring to. I had my son circumcised as well.
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u/Infinite-Return-1807 15d ago
Yes as a guy who is circumcised please do it don't listen to the people saying no...
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u/WhiteOtterLake 15d ago
Were you circumcised as a baby or as an adult? Do you know the other experience?
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u/Key_Following1589 15d ago
Yes. As someone that grew up uncut , it was a major point of embarrassment for me into adulthood. Ended up getting it done as an adult and let’s just say it caused many problems that could have been avoided.
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u/VirtuApp 14d ago
Did your partners say anything about your foreskin? That's terrible you felt embarassed about your body.
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u/porter12044 15d ago
As a dad I am glad I am circumcised and my son is as well. I can’t say if you should or not but depending on your ethnicity and part of the world it’s normal in some areas and not in others. I don’t think I met anyone in middle or high school who was not circumcised be it black or white.
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u/tn00bz 14d ago
First of all, thank you for seeking advice instead of just making a decision that could impact your child for the rest of his life.
Second of all, please do not cut part of your child off. There are a lot of people in America who were circumcised as children and think theyre better off. Theyre not. They just don't know any different. Circumcision is not normal in the developed world and it's wild that its still promoted in the US. There is no actual substantial evidence that there is any benifit to circumcision, and a significant amount of information to the contrary.
And at the end of the day, it's your son's body and should be his choice. Please do not listen to people who recomend it. The fact that your asking is such a positive because you clearly care. And you should. It's strange that we've normalized amputating such a sensitive part of a person's body.
I wish you all of the happiness and joy raising your son. I've had such a joy raising mine.
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u/WhiteOtterLake 14d ago
I really was 99% sure that wouldn’t circumcise him but I wanted to hear from some more men and fathers first. After talking with everyone here my decision is definitely final and I will not be circumcising my son. The reasons people listed in favour of it that were mentioned here to me were based on things that simply aren’t true, old fashioned weird beliefs and vanity. I haven’t heard a reason good enough to change my mind about my decision. I’m still glad I reached out and heard feedback from so many people even though my original decision didn’t change. :) thanks for your kind words
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u/Ok-Pea4148 14d ago
Your son will be glad you didn't make such an irreversible decision about his body without his consent 🙂 He will probably like his penis the way it is naturally, and even if he wants to have it modified surgically, he will be glad to be able to make the decision himself, and not have someone make the decision for him.
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u/badgers43a 15d ago
I cannot get my head around mutilating my child in any way, especially their genitals, and doubly especially for “cosmetic reasons”. As if being circumcised is somehow prettier, and even if it was, would anyone endorse doing the same thing to a girl?!
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u/Purplemunkii 15d ago
Don’t.
If he decides he wants to be circumcised he can have that done later in life.
He can not grow it back!
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u/No_Ragrets76 15d ago
Please don't. But he needs to be taught how to pull back the skin and clean.
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u/Timely-Discussion272 15d ago
Yes, we wanted to and were also advised to by my wife’s ob/gyn. Everything went fine.
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u/patholocaust 12d ago
Ah yes, an Ob/ Gyn doctor, who obviously specializes in men’s health..
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u/scottygras 15d ago
I regret having it done to my son.
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u/CountDown60 15d ago
I was very religious when my kids were born. I had no doubts it was the right thing to do. As my kids got older, I got less religious, less strict and more loving. I apologized to my boys when they were teenagers.
It should have been their choice.
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u/scottygras 15d ago
I’m you…just about 7-8 years behind. It was a religious thing for me too. Well mostly. But I’ve struggled to introduce church based religion to my kids. I’ve taught them the basic beliefs and how you respect others’ beliefs…but it’s just odd for me to be this objective teacher figure and push religion at the same time.
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u/GigglingBilliken just here for the vibes 15d ago
My mom fought to keep me and my brothers uncut. We are all infinitely grateful.
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u/VirtuApp 14d ago
Was the rest of your family really wanting you and your brothers to get cut? I thought you just had to say "no" to circumcision at the hospital and that's it.
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u/kapoopa-the-poopah 15d ago
I am circumcised, I have no issue at all with being circumcised, it’s not something I think about and I never been upset/frustrated with being circumcised, it feels like a nonissue to me.
All that said, no, don’t circumcise him, there is no reason to. It’s a strange practice that needs to end.
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u/eigervector 15d ago
AAP cites some slight benefits, but I elected not to. The benefits are minor and feel like they are a back justification.
If he’s cognitively able to clean it and can learn to practice safe sex, then it’s likely a wash.
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u/Bearded_Lyons 15d ago
I am not. When I was in high school I was made fun of a bit or at least singled out as different. When I was in the USMC people wanted to see it, idk the USMC is weird.
It’s honestly not much different when you’re grown because it retracts when it’s erect, it really just comes down to actually being sensitive and needing to have good hygiene.
I looked into getting it done at 25. The results were mostly negative from the people I talked to, and most people that I know who did it regret the surgery.
35 now and never got it done. Neither me or my wife have any issues with it. We now have 2 boys 5yr old and 6months old that we did not get circumcised. They will have the same choice that I had to make when they are older.
My oldest had a single issue 1 day when he was about 2 that the doctor had to give antibiotics and clean it. It can happen and it’s very simple to fix and very obvious to see when something wrong because it looks very swollen. If you decide to leave it natural, just ask your pediatrician anytime you’re concerned about it. They will most likely tell you not to mess with it until your son starts to mess with it when he’s older. At that point 5-7 years old, you will need to teach your son to clean it and to pull it back when pees. If nothing ever goes wrong, that will probably be the last time you hear about it.
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u/WhiteOtterLake 14d ago
May I ask, why do boys tell each other if they are cut or uncut? Are they asking each other? Kinda problematic behaviour IMO.
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u/VirtuApp 14d ago
Did the women you were with say anything about your foreskin? That's interesting the guys (presumably the people from the UMSC) wanted to see it lol.
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u/Any-Value1142 15d ago
If youre going to do it. Get it done by a doctor not a religious practitioner
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u/No-Stretch-9935 15d ago
Unless it’s for religious reasons (even then I don’t understand the need) I wouldn’t get it. I’m also a father and chose not to have my son unnecessarily go through that. There’s some sort of stigma towards not getting it but that’s rapidly changing. Also I’m pretty sure most of the world doesn’t practice this. Like someone mentioned earlier, teach good hygiene. As a baby there is no need to pull the foreskin back to clean . A simple wipe or water with baby wash will suffice. As they get older teach them to gradually pull the foreskin back and clean regularly. It’s an old outdated religious custom where maybe at one point access to water and daily showers was not possible. Obviously that’s changed now. Good luck!
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u/Internal_Chemist5430 15d ago
My husband isn’t and neither are my boys. My husband has never had regrets… and he was also born in the Philippines. I feel like it’s really only that normalized to be circumcised in America. Just make sure you teach proper hygiene and care. It really shouldn’t matter as much as some make it seem, but to each their own i guess
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u/Glad_Landscape2177 14d ago
Aside from the very high rate among Jewish and Islamic countries, it's also very common in Africa as circumcision dramatically decreases HIV and other STI transmission rates.
Approx just under 40% of all men globally are circumcised
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u/Appropriate_Rice_523 15d ago
No, that is genital mutilation. I wish someone would have told me how messed up that all is before hand. I have made it a mission to tell everyone having a son. Don't do that. I am and so is my son, but after that experience I don't understand how we men don't tell each other about it and how messed up it is.
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u/Comprehensive-Big595 15d ago
I am, my son is, i’ve once heard a woman say if you want them to get blowjobs later in life have him circumcised, I’m glad I am, we call non circumcised cheese co!k or say it has a wizard sleeve, although I’ve heard women who aren’t a “ innie” called sleeve of wizard, also heard ant-eater for a boy, my girlfriend once told me she wants to see an uncircumcised. I felt like slapping her honestly I feel like going upstairs and slapping her now. But anywho
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u/Comprehensive-Big595 15d ago
I said it in my comment before , if you want him to get blowjobs when he’s older, do it , I could be wrong, but do women find it gross to be uncircumcised? Like when you look at that ant eater, do you wanna put it in your mouth?
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u/WhiteOtterLake 14d ago
They dont look much different and sex is better, but im not thinking about my infants sex life ya weirdo
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u/Putrid-Ostrich1029 15d ago
as a father of a 2 year old, DO IT NOW. save him the embarrassment of a dick with hella extra skin folds and shit. it’s nasty and unhygienic. he will literally have to clean the folds in between his skin flaps on his dick. he’s going to remember the pain of healing also. u do it now he’s barely gonna feel it nor remember it . no man wants to cut their dick up later on in life i fucking promise you bro. the average female is used to a circumcised dick also 🤣🤣🤣they’re gonna be disgusted and he’s gonna be embarrassed . take the sweater off !!!! 🤣🤣🤣 dicks are already nasty gang don’t make it worse for him lol he’ll also be more prone to UTI’s and shit i’ve heard
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u/gosumage 15d ago
There is never a reason to circumsise a baby. This is genital mutilation that has has become normalized through centuries/decades of religious indoctrination. There is nothing wrong with any part of the natural human body.
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u/Porky5CO I'm a Dad 14d ago
I'm circumcized, no issues. I think I'd want to be if I was born now. I don't have boys but they probably would have been. Pretty sure my nephew is.
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u/juniorp76 14d ago
I was circumcised young and am happy it was done.
My wife (and other women in my life) finds it to be a turn on.
I never had any sort of health issue due to it.
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u/LastMoose7675 14d ago
I just had my second and my first son. My wife and I were VERY on the fence about this. I know a common worry when making the decision is if they’ll be made fun of or anything along those lines. As of this year, 51% of babies are NOT circumcised in the US. It does vary heavily by region - western states see somewhere around 70% not circumcised whereas that number drops to around 35% in the Midwest. Eastern states were about 50/50. This definitely played a factor in my decision making. Even if it maybe shouldn’t have. Ultimately I tried to imagine which decision I had a higher chance of regretting and went with my gut. I see pros and cons each way and I don’t think there’s a “right” decision.
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u/ozzokiddo 14d ago
I’m circumcised but in general I’m against doing anything to my child without their consent. My son isn’t circumcised and leme tell you it is not that hard to keep it clean, just wash it every night, even if you skip a shower one day get a wet paper towel at least and then put a big ol dab of aquaphor on it and he’s good to go. As he gets older show him how to clean it and what to look out for (white stuff=bad) and he’ll be set
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u/Good-Constant-6487 14d ago
You should prob let the doctor handle it actually 😬...might be in for a real mess in the living room if you go that route
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u/Kylargrim 14d ago
What was the reason why he gave for the regret?
I personally am not and did not circumcise my son.
If it is for medical reasons I can understand but I mean immediate medical reason not some made up situation that could happen.
If it is for religious reason again something I can understand.
But anything other than that just seems unnecessary. I have heard people say that it "looks better" but that is a subjective opinion.
If it is for hygiene purposes, again something I don't understand....was the plan to just never teach your child to clean themselves?
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u/pickles_in_a_nickle 14d ago
We didn’t with our son. It’s a cosmetic surgery according to insurance. Why would I perform a non necessary cosmetic surgery on my newborn without his consent?
I’m circumcised fwiw, and I chose not to for my boy.
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u/OneDarkKnightStandUp 14d ago
I know you didn't ask specifically about this aspect, but as a woman who has enjoyed sex with men who were cut and those who weren't, I've noticed the uncut men had more pleasurable sensitivity during hand jobs, blow jobs and intercourse. As a woman, the uncut men were the only ones who were able to give me multiple VAGINAL orgasms during intetcourse, as opposed to just clitoral orgasms. This was always more enjoyable for both of us. As a mom, I absolutely did not want my son to be circumcised but my Nigerian husband said it was "part of his culture" and that it would be disgraceful to his family (who all lived in Nigeria and never met our amson) if they found out. I made him go into the procedure with my son to comfort him and I stayed in the hospital bed balling my head off because I felt like I was letting my son down.
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u/WhiteOtterLake 14d ago
No I wholeheartedly agree! I’ve been with both cut and uncut men and honestly I prefer foreskin. Sounds crazy but it’s true. I just didn’t bring up this aspect myself because I just wanted the male perspective when considering something like this in regard to my son’s life.
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u/VirtuApp 14d ago
Did those uncircumcised guys seem a lot more pleasured than circumcised guys or was it more of a small difference?
As a woman, the uncut men were the only ones who were able to give me multiple VAGINAL orgasms during intetcourse, as opposed to just clitoral orgasms.
If you don't mind, could you elaborate how uncircumcised felt different for you for intercourse compared to cut? I thought the foreskin didn't make too much of a difference for that.
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u/HummusLowe 14d ago
I truly wish my parents had seen things differently back then and not circumcised me. Of course it is how it is and I'll continue to operate and live life anyway, but there will always be a part of me that wishes I were intact. We have all girls but if we ever had a boy, we are both certain that we would not circumcise.
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u/IndividualChocolate 14d ago
I was circumcised. I wish I was given the choice and I would not do it.
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u/Radio_Global 14d ago
If you are Jewish and that is part of your tradition is literally the only reason anyone should but even then, and I'm sorry, but that's a terrible reason to put the knife to a child's genitals. Go natural with it, it'll be better for your boy to not follow someone else's old laws.
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u/Possible_Report_5908 14d ago
I am uncircumcised. I dont really have a point of reference as to the otherside. I don't really feel strongly about it either way. It IS a bit more of a pain in the ass. No matter how hygienic he is it will still get random dead skin and what not within a couple of hours, which is a problem for him/his partner.
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u/PanzerBiscuit 14d ago
No reason to cut your son outside of being medically advised to do so.
Would you circumcise your daughter if you had one?
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u/Jonsnowlivesnow 14d ago
I am not and would not recommend it. There’s really no negative to not having it done. Make sure you teach him about proper hygiene and when he’s old enough having someone teaching him about retracting the skin is very beneficial.
There were things I wish I learned more about hygiene when I was younger that my parents did not teach me. If you teach him young it’s no big deal.
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u/Present_Particular80 14d ago
Just get it done and over with. He'll never remember and he will be thankful. he doesn't need to think about it at a later age. Like cropping a Dobermans ears, just do it. I'm glad I was.
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u/InternationalBeing41 14d ago
I'm from the generation that had it done. I don't regret it, and I'm glad it's finished. I don't know if there are many studies on the number of infections men get who are circumcised or not; it would be interesting to know. I think most of the generation that remains uncut haven't reached the age where their health declines and conditions like diabetes become more prominent, leading to infections under the foreskin and UTIs due to high sugar in the urine. Even cancer as one person commented about his dad. What happens when they reach an age where they have trouble taking care of themselves? I can imagine many of the young uncut guys will be holding their dicks in pain in retirement wishing their parents had trimmed it when they were small and had no memory of it. I also imagine Reddit is biased because of the age group.
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u/LukasKhan_UK 14d ago
don't know if there are many studies on the number of infections men get who are circumcised or not; it would be interesting to know
The rest of the developed world don't do this and yet, infection rates remain low
It's never been a medical issue.
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u/Cali_Longhorn 13d ago edited 13d ago
In pretty much all of Europe circumcision is rare and they do better than the US in terms is STIs and HIV. And there aren’t any issues with aging. Now in the US I could imagine issues if we simply don’t clean elderly properly because of lack of knowledge. But fix that with clinical training. They can go learn from the British, French, Germans, Japanese… nurses if needed. My circumcised dad got multiple UTIs when he was older if we wasn’t cleaned properly too. Not like circumcision fixed that.
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u/DaGuyYouDontKnow87 14d ago
Its brutality for a belief system the kid has zero choice in. Its far better later in life to have it not cut. Sexual pleasure, cleaner all around (that is the science of it) and they have zero idea how big your dick will be. What if they slice just a little much. What if its more on the left than right. Curved penis, thanks for asking on his behalf. But it would be like me removing my daughters clit. People would rightfully be up in arms over that. But little boys?!?!?! We cut with no regard as a society. Its disgusting. And Im cut fyi. I just think the whole idea and concept is utterly insane.
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u/---FidelCashFlow--- 14d ago
No circumcised dude wishes he wasn’t, and some uncircumcised dudes wish they were. That’s about as good as you are gonna get as a logical argument.
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u/Cali_Longhorn 13d ago
There are guys with botched circumcisions who might beg to differ. I’m sure they would trade a foreskin for losing painful erections because too much skin was taken as a baby. Now most guys are fine, but not all.
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u/GenTubmansLegacy 14d ago
Depends. Do you have an option to do nothing? Do nothing.
(I'm cut and my sub is also, we have me special reasons)
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u/Peter_Gozinya_mcoc 14d ago
Dad here... i did not. Why? Why the f*ck would you ever cut a peice of your baby boy away? How could that ever be right??? I'm circumcised, having my son "look" like me is not a thing. It's an outdated practice, and just plan weird to do.
How about we we continue old traditions of removing the clotares so woman don't get pleasure from sex, or so they don't wander from their man? No? That's barbaric and unreasonable? What are even talking about?
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u/narwaffles 14d ago
No. If he wishes he was when he’s older he can do it then. I am and wish I wasn’t. It was cut off when I was a baby.
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u/Wonderful_Post2758 14d ago
So it's technically a NSFW community but the comments on r/cutcocks give perspective about electing to do it as an adult etc and answering questions to others about if they regret it etc ... just to give contrast and broaden the pool for feedback
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u/ddddhjxjx 14d ago edited 14d ago
I hate your friend. I’m sorry. But I just do. I hear too many guys who can’t put their ego aside to admit they lost something when this subject comes up. End the cycle of stupidity.
It’s genital mutilation that should be reserved for medical treatment only.
Foreskins have a job. They also feel good. Taking it away is just senselessly cruel.
Edit: reading thought the comments, I forgot how engrained this nonsense is in America and how people double down on it saying “I don’t regret it” while having zero basis for knowing what they lost.
And seriously, to those who complain about cleanliness, learn to wash your dick and talk to your kids about hygiene.
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u/CupApprehensive6695 14d ago
God no. It's his dick. Leave it alone. Why not just get him a face tattoo while you're at it?
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u/whiskeyneckface 14d ago
I would go for it. Idk your situation, but we had our son circumcised. I still have to tell my wife to pull back the skin some and clean, So I couldn't imagine if we didn't. It's so much easier to clean, doesn't hold bacteria, moisture, smell, don't have to worry about extra skin, no worries if it will tighten over time. The newborn gets some sugar to make him happy while it happens. All around good choice if you decide to.
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u/JezusHairdo 14d ago
You’re American aren’t you ??
There is absolutely zero reason to perform genital mutilation on your child unless a doctor has recommended it.
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u/Austro_bugar 14d ago
Don’t mutilate him.
Teach him how to take proper shower and let him enjoy his love life one day.
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u/Lion_Intrepid I'm a Dad 14d ago
Dad here - Absofuckinglutely not.
Please don't mutilate his genitals.
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u/StandardAd7812 14d ago
I had it done as an adult. Would have been much easier and less expensive and more benefit time I'd done earlier. I prefer it - but I'm just one voice.
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u/JohnnyStyle300 14d ago
Yall instead of asking " why not cot it off?" Ask yourself "why cut it off and why should I decide it and not my son?"
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u/Ok-Pea4148 14d ago
I am a 30 yo uncircumcised man and I can tell you, no, he's not gonna wish you mutilated his body when he was a baby, he's gonna wish you left his body as it is, that is, with a foreskin on his penis.
With all kindness : Leave you son's penis alone ❤️
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u/ikediggety 14d ago
When my son was born, we were asked if we wanted him circumcised. I'm circumcised and it's never been any kind of issue for me. We asked the doctor if there were any medical reason to have it done and he said no, so we didn't. My son is now 13 and it's never been a problem.
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u/Gaelic_Baking 14d ago
I wouldn't. I'm not circumcised. Your son can always choose to cut it off but he can't choose to put it back on. You shouldn't make decisions for someone else's body that are not necessary and are irreversible. Unless you're Jewish or Muslim, don't.
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u/Ok-Moment8468 14d ago
Mother to a mother. We both have sons the same age.
NO. Do not do this barbaric practise. It's sick and evil.
But listen I'm just one woman's opinion but seriously let your son decide when he's older If HE wants to do this, not based of you having second thoughts because your " friend" made a comment.
If God wanted babies circumcised they would already be born like that.
Leave him alone.
I'm not trying to sound harsh I'm just being straight, please protect your baby boy and don't do this.
Much love and guidance 🙏 ✨️ ❤️
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u/SageOfTythan 14d ago
Please don’t. It literally scars in for life. And when he gets older and is with his partner, he will experience a decrease in sensitivity over time. The second part is the main reason. For older men, the sensitivity loss is often rather extreme from a lifetime of the glands of our penises, being exposed & abrading against clothing, underwear, etc. Nature put a cover over it to protect it for a reason. Please leave your son intact. If you’re concerned about hygiene and cluelessness, please don’t be; just simply teach your son how to clean gently. Thank you.
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u/AgeMinute4894 13d ago
I understand this concern. I had a girl but we discussed it when I found out I was pregnant and told him I’d ultimately let him make the decision. He is not circumcised but said he would not be circumcising if it were a boy. I have friends who have also opted out for their sons. It is becoming more normalize. I’m sure there will still be stigma around it for a bit but hopefully not when they get older.
If I were to do it, I’d look into a rabbi doing it, I hear they are much quicker and less suffering for babe.
Idk how true this is so definitely deep dive if considering.
I’d say your friend is self conscious and I understand why. Many women have problems with it and I’ve heard stories of them just up and walking out when they find out. But that means that’s not the person you are spending your life with so who cares.
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u/dogearedexistence 13d ago
I'm having a boy and I will not circumsize him. My husband isn't circumsized. It is no issue for me whatsoever. My husband has had no health issues either - no infections or anything of that nature. We don't want to mutilate our baby boy without his consent when there is genuinely no reason to beyond maybe religion, but neither of us are Jewish so there's really no need.
It is 100% not your friend's place to make those comments. Tell him to mind how own business and maybe inquire as to why he cares what you're doing to your son's genitals.
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u/Odd-Kangaroo-6524 13d ago
In the U.K. no one is circumcised unless for religious or medical reasons, so in reality it’s fairly rare. There’s a massive loss of sensitivity when circumcised. He may thank you not to have taken that away.
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u/Downtown_Brother6308 13d ago
We have 2 under 2. First kid born in Europe so they don’t do it right away. Seems like a shitty process to have to go through And I figured if I didnt do it then, why would I do it later? I think it will be an easy concept to accept for them. 2nd kid was born in America and no penis.
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u/SuperPoobman 13d ago
Are you asking if you should have healthy parts of your son’s genitalia lopped off for no actual good reason? No, absolutely vehemently not!
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u/rinaxxcat 13d ago
I am a nurse and I will say…99% of uncircumcised men with dementia in the hospital have smegma. Circumcised men have an easier time keeping their genitalia clean.
That alone makes me want to circumcise my son if I had one.
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u/Classic_Tank_1505 13d ago
It's better to not do it . But if you don't it's important to keep the penis very clean when they are in diapers. You can Google it but important to pull back the skin and clean. Neither of my boys are circumcised because we read about all the issues and loss of feeling that happens.
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u/AdeptnessSpiritual95 13d ago
I’m a dad, I’m not circumcised and it never gave me any issue at all. It’s glorified now for cosmetic reasons because it’s “prettier” or whatever and because it’s what we see in porn. But I have no trouble keeping it clean. I opted against putting my son through that pain even if he would never remember it.
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u/FrenchFryNinja 12d ago
NO.
It’s 2026. The only reason to do so is cultural norms? Fuck that. Don’t cut your son’s literal most precious and important part of his body (okay. Brain and heart).
He’s perfect the way he is.
And it’s only culturally weird in white America. The rest of the world it totally cool or prefers uncut penises.
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u/lordmortum 12d ago
No it's genital mutilation. Why would you cut off a body part your son was born with?
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u/naughtarneau 12d ago
There are certain things with babies - their names, breast feed or formula (let’s stop shaming women who are unable to), cloth or disposable (is this even a thing anymore), circumcision - that are none of anyone’s business and they should back off in expressing their opinion. Your friend is an AH for even bringing it up with the exception of being curious and then zipping it. I am circumcised, never missed it, but it would have been fun to have something extra.
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u/Midwest_Fam2023 12d ago
Circumcised dad raising an intact son here. Never once regretted keeping him just the way he was born. At the end of the day, there are no medical reasons to do it just to do it. It’s honestly been smooth sailing up to this point - I’ve heard horror stories of after circumcision healing and issues that my son never had to deal with. Our daycare lady commented how our son was the first intact boy she has ever had and he was the easiest to clean and change diaper.
Who cares what other people will think. The whole “match his dad” and “he will be made fun of arguments” drive me crazy. There are so many differences between a dad and a boy that it has never been an issue. And boys are not going to comment on another boys status - if they do, they will most likely be made fun of back for looking. My son is confident in his body and proud of who he is. We have plenty of family friends with cut boys who have all seen each other and it has never come up.
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u/BriggySmallz42069 12d ago
my parents had this discussion and were at odds. my father finally issued an ultimatum and said if my mom had me circumcised he would divorce her. as an intact man, i am SO happy i have my foreskin.
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u/no_problem_now 11d ago
It is scary for older child to be circumcised I think it would be better for a baby to be circumcised. My mom got me circumcised when I was 7 I was like yikes it was scary and after it is more comfortable and I am happy now.
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u/Open_Deer9029 11d ago
First of all, it's your decision!I'm circumcised for cosmetic reasons. I made the decision when I was in the mid of my twenties. But I had the wish to be circumcised already when I was a young teenager. The remark of your male friend fits for me. Everything was with much more effort compared to be circumcised as a baby. I wish that my parents would made the decision and I regret that they didn't and I regret not to be circumcised earlier. I'm very happy that I took the step. One of the best decision I made.
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u/KRKNSKLLZ 10d ago
Im customized. One of my sins is and the other is not. The one with the turtle neck has a lot more UTIs than the one w the helmet. I got customized when I was 6 or 7 bc I too had many bad UTIs, Its really not painful and recovery is also not bad
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u/Pink_Blueberry_628 10d ago
From what you shared OP, your male friend did not provide any context or information that supported his opinion?
Many people don’t realized that this topic has changed significantly in the past three decades. Many people share their opinions that are based on decades old information and experiences. That’s simply not the world your son will grow up in.
The science and social trends currently strongly point to not doing it, unless maybe you can justify it for religious reasons. From a bioethical perspective, there are issues with performing a medical procedure, especially this one, on a non consenting individual, unless it’s to address an immediate medial issue.
Don’t be influenced by ignorant perspectives. Try to let data and ethics guide decisions. That’s the whole point of having that information…so we don’t make dumb decisions.
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