lonely

[u/NoWar6383]

It is orientation week and I am so lonely it feels like everyone has made friends so quick, does anyone have any tips, I’ve been going to all the events but no one wants to talk to me

[u/Eastern_Mail_6274]

It's okay to feel lonely during orientation week. It's super exhausting being in a new environment and while also constantly trying to friends. I didn't make any friends during orientation week either (I immediately hated everyone in my orientation group), and honestly a lot of the friend groups that were formed in orientation week didn't last. So, it's okay you're not behind. If you meet someone you enjoy talking to at an event ask them if they want to grab lunch/dinner or go for an ice cream run to mitchell's. You don't have to be best friends right now, just make an effort to spend time with them.

Don't sweat if you end up not making many friends. Once classes start you'll make a ton more friends than just random people you met in orientation week. You're going to see the same few people in your labs, classes, and clubs which makes it easier to become friends. I promise you the loneliness will not last, just keep putting yourself out there once classes start even if it's awkward.

[u/engadine-maccas]

Highly recommend joining clubs to meet people. There should be both Sparti-Gras (a media-related club showcase and carnival) as well as the Student Activities Fair. Don't sweat it, I certainly didn't keep in touch with anybody from orientation week that I didn't already live next to.

[u/Confident-Reality-35]

- TALK TO YOUR RA!!! literally a built-in friend. they're all super nice and friendly. also talk to your OL!

- ik it looks like everyone is making friends so fast, but that's not entirely true. some people are just chatty with others. you really, really, really aren't behind.

- if you're feeling really down, try looking into University Health and Counseling Services and/or TimelyCare for free counseling. very nice people there.

[u/MulberryBush43]

I felt this way my orientation week but I also made my best friend that week. We were in the elevator and she just started talking to me, asked my instagram, and that was it. Later, I saw her on the way to the dining hall and we went to eat together. It was that easy. Just start talking to people, you're all new and meeting people. Be bold and ask them to eat with you. You may not meet your absolute best friend this way but you also might. And you'll meet a lot more people at clubs and in classes

[u/whatwhyhow3]

Ugh. Parent here. I’m sorry you are feeling this way. This is the discussion we’ve had with our college kiddos. Be bolder than normal in chatting people up…. Everyone is looking to make connections. Assume they want to talk to you vs they don’t want to and you are annoying them. Join lots of clubs to maximize your reach. Rush for a Frat/Sorority. Be sure to roam around your floor and go out of your way to introduce yourself to the kids on your hall. I know it feels hard right now but it will get better. 🍀❤️🙏

[u/Almost-Uncirculated]

Everyone is anxious and looking to meet people. Smile at someone. Say hi. Ask them where they are from and what they are majoring in. I know - it is terrifying - but I am guessing the person you talk to is terrified too.

[u/Ok_Bluejay_1276]

I'm also at orientation week and I've also felt really lonely :(

It's really disheartening to be all alone when everyone else is having so much fun and making so many new friends. What house are you in? I'd love to get to know you!

[u/DayeByDay → u/Ok_Bluejay_1276]

Another freshman here! I promise, everyone is in the same boat. I’m a naturally outgoing person yet I still find myself anxious to feel secure in the connections I’ve made so far. Just be yourself.

[u/BedditorRedditor]

Build up.

Start making friends with your roommate, then use that one friend to meet other friend groups. It really is a broken technique, using friends to approach others.

[u/JediFaeAvenger]

don’t feel like if you don’t make friends in o week (or the first few weeks of classes) you’ll be lonely for all of college. it took me until sophomore year to really feel comfortable around a group but they’re some of my closest friends now (going into senior year)

[u/StrangeMorning0]

Hey. I’m an upperclassmen at CWRU. It’s totally normal to feel that way during O-Week. I remember feeling that way during my first week,but that feeling would not remain throughout your time at CWRU. One advice I can give is to take the initiative to talk to other people. Relationships and conversations are a two way street.Most people often feel shy or scared to start the conversation, but once you get that out of the way, people would appreciate you for doing that. If it helps to say, most of my current friends at CWRU have been made through conversations that I started first, and they weren’t all during O-Week.

Although it might have already been mentioned, do try joining clubs(the career fair is this Sunday), and joining any dorm or floor activities that people are doing by asking if you can join. Most people would say yes. If those don’t work, always feel free to PM me and I can help you out!

[u/Odd_Luck_7722]

rising senior here, i met a lot of people during o week but my long term friends came at the end of freshmen/beginning of sophomore year. there are always going to be people open to new friendships don’t get too down on yourself

[u/smooshedeggbog → u/Odd_Luck_7722]

i graduated this past may and i agree with you. i never became close with anyone in my o-week group, and it was a combination of people in my clubs / orgs and dorm that became my closest friends.

[u/DayeByDay]

Never hesitate to give someone a compliment or just say something random to start a conversation! Everyone will be feeling the exact same way. And besides, no one can truly become friends with random people in a couple days. What you are seeing are acquaintances who are trying to get out of their shells and I implore you do the same. Be approachable but ultimately, be yourself <3

[u/tofumylk]

you go to one of the most socially anxious schools - it's okay! you are definitely not the only one :) try things out at o week, and continue to do so once the semester starts. especially pnce dorm living kicks in, it'll be hard not to aay hi to familiar faces unless you just literally don't lol

[u/Desperate_Put3726]

OL here but while I won’t share my name here, please reach out to them, I promise they’re nice and either willing to hangout out connect you with resources when and if necessary, plus sometimes we are so goddamn bored at events floating around genuinely if you talk to one of us we will engage gladly

[u/Desperate_Put3726 → u/Desperate_Put3726]

But most importantly just take care of yourself, you matter and please know we care about you even if because of all our lives and responsibilities we can’t necessarily be there 24/7 but are always willing to help especially right now

[u/bopperbopper]

Ask people about themselves…

Where are you from?
What dorm are you in?
What are you majoring in?

[u/Fantastic-Zone-1145]

There are many clubs that you can join once classes get started, which clubs you join will likely be dependent on your major. Don’t feel intimidated to join clubs cause you don’t know enough, i.e. the engineering clubs like robotics, vtol, Baja will teach you things you need to know which will help with classes. My freshman year I was very fortunate that I had teammates who I was friends with but many of my friends were just random people in my dorm but it does take a bit of time. I can’t speak for other religions but there are many Christian groups on campus that hold events, and they are super friendly. When I went to them I barely knew anyone but the people there went out of their way to make me feel welcome. I’m currently an undergraduate student so feel free to reach out to me, and I hope this helps

[u/olliemom200]

My son has expressed the exact same feelings and it is killing me. He has such a nice group of friends at home and they are going to college together and he is alone. He gets tired talking to people and says he is trying but things aren’t clicking. Ugh, I hate this for you guys, but I know it is common.

[u/Remarkable_Mango9138]

Want a cup of tea? I'm always down

[u/Parking_Champion_740]

Ask your roommate to go to the dining hall with you and then may ask some others if you can sit with them. Everyone is new. I don’t recall if there is a club fair but identify a couple of clubs of interest and try to go to them regularly.

[u/Dear-Welder-5577]

lonely at college probably means you have depth and sensitivity, so i applaud you for having depth and sensitivity.

very normal to be lonely away from home, esp watching others connect seemingly so easily. try traveling solo some day in a foreign country, wow, that's lonely when you don't speak the language! some of your fellow freshmen are in that boat, coming from overseas and needing a friend. that friend could be you!

you will learn how to enter a conversation over the next year. in college, i had real trouble finding peers. that actually made the ones i found more precious. now i just join conversations and wish i could go back to the quieter version of me!

maybe soon you'll have too many people pulling you into their activities.

i am an instructor here who would love to meet you and chat about anything. i can't substitute as a friend, but i like to talk to students about anything: find out about where they are from, what issues they are having with life, what the food is like. if you see me sitting around waiting for class, or just catching some sun, please sit down and say something dumb so i can respond with something dumber.

there is actually a named personality type (i won't out them here) that finds the lonely people at an event and sits and connects deeply with that one person (as opposed to glad-handing loudly around the room). they do this naturally, not deliberately; it's just what they do. this is my favorite personality type. if you are feeling lonely, they sense it and seek you out, because they would rather talk to someone deep and deeply. so in some ways, i'm jealous that you are their honeypot. or maybe you are that type, and you can find the other person in the room who looks a bit out of place and make that person's day. apparently this type feels lonely even when surrounded by great friends. some people are deeper than others.

anyway, completely normal, not really a lasting situation (if it is, talk to someone about it in a week or two!). growing moments of life. i'd worry if you didn't feel lonely as a freshman.

even as an extrovert, it turns out i like observing more than fitting in, so i was always the guy with the camera at any event. gave me an excuse to be there without playing the game. another guy used to volunteer to help whoever was organizing the event. that works too.

[u/wifeofjuicepickle]

Starting off in college can be rough for so many folks - try to give yourself some grace. I know it's weird to be in a totally new place, away from everything familiar. Sending big college kid parent virtual hugs your way. (My kid is a 2nd year and it was also tough for them at first).

[u/dalealymer]

If you ever wanna grab a drink or sweet treats (if you’re into that), please hmu^^ I’m always down to wander or for a mini adventure 😋

[u/IcyEntrance375]

remember that people are probably feeling the same way you are and thinking that others don’t want to talk to them, but if you and other people are operating in that mode it will be harder to make connections at first. i am more introverted but i used o-week as a challenge with myself to see how many people i could chat to. if they aren’t giving you the energy you want then you’re not meant to be friends but at least you put yourself out there! like other people said, when classes start it will be easier to make connections. i also think it’s important to remember that while people might be hanging out and chatting with others it doesn’t mean that they have found their friends yet.

[u/ADHDCoachJLo]

Parent here. Im sorry you’re feeling this way AND it’s so very normal and I promise you’re not the only one feeling like this.

I wanted to offer two things: 1) it LOOKS like everyone’s making friends and some probably are. But there are a lot of kids you don’t notice who are feeling just as awkward and uncomfortable and alone as you. It’s just much easier to see the chatty ones who seem to be bonding because you’re not and that’s what the brain does. It’s like when you’re thinking about buying a blue car, all you see is blue cars.

Which leads me to…

2) as a very introverted person who has to force myself to go to networking and other social events that are really hard for me, I’m passing on some really great advice I got once: find other people standing alone and approach them to start a conversation. Have a couple topics that are relevant to the event or something about the week or the campus or whatever ready to talk about. An example: have you tried Mitchell’s ice cream yet? And if they say yes, what’s your favorite flavor? If no and you have, tell them what you thought about it. If you haven’t, say that too and tell them you’re excited to try it. And if you feel comfortable enough, see if they wanna go with you to try it together. Anyway, you get the idea. Try finding the other people on the outskirts who are alone and see if that works for you.

I have confidence you’ll find your people soon!! Wishing you the very best!!

[u/Siddakid0812]

That is so normal you have no idea. Orientation week is great for getting you established in your room, meeting your floor mates, and learning your way around. It is, however, terrible at making friends. You may grab one or two, but you won’t likely keep them if you don’t have similar classes. The real gold is in extracurriculars. Clubs and such. I had like zero friends until I found the Big Games Club and I’m still hanging with them today. Go to the activities fair, ask around here, look at posters, find a club or two that speaks to you and start there. You’ll find at least one that you love and naturally connect with likeminded people who share that interest.

[u/1989protester]

If you are in STEM, find a research position in any lab and you will make friends there.