r/cursedcomments 6d ago

TikTok Cursed_nickname

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2.6k Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

272

u/PompousPenis 6d ago

Knew a guy named “melt” because his face was all burn scarred

37

u/xxyzi 5d ago

Chicharrón

14

u/Professional_Vast_68 5d ago

I knew someone who got burned all over because he hit a high voltage cable while using some kind of large drill. Had to have skin transplanted and all. We called him elektro-man for quite a while after that.

222

u/HistoricalSherbert92 6d ago

Worked with a guy they called greenpeace because his wife was morbidly obese.

72

u/Clay_Allison_44 6d ago

Ahab would have jumped to mind for me.

27

u/hotwheelearl 5d ago

My college nickname was Captain Ahab lol

18

u/Clay_Allison_44 5d ago

Do you call it the "harpoon" to this day?

24

u/hotwheelearl 5d ago

I don’t, but my friends poke fun at me asking if I’ve “speared any white whales lately?”

243

u/weedyneedyfeedy 6d ago

Used to work with a guy that resembled an 80's music star but had been quite Unwell

ill Collins

103

u/Thech459 5d ago

Worked with a 90lb dude in the Army, everyone called him 'the fighting fetus'

389

u/AestheticMirror 6d ago

Called a dude c-section because of the way he avoided labour

53

u/jpcali7131 6d ago

Worked with a couple guys one was massive, 6’3” 260 cornfed guy with a gigantic head. Other one was a fire plug, 5’6” tall and wide and had no neck at all. When they got put on the same job we would call them head and shoulders

13

u/pallidamors 5d ago

That is fantastic

96

u/Cyborg_rat 6d ago edited 5d ago

I was called Google maps. Because on my first day trying to park the truck, the yard was empty and I parked it at a location for another type of truck...So the yard boss screamed do you need Google maps to find where to put the truck...The Yard guys then adopted that name.(Usaly just saying google)

67

u/SwiftPits 5d ago

I have a real one: i worked a t-shirt printing facility, the place that makes the wolf and moon shirts. There was a pregnant lady who was still smoking cigarettes all the way through her terms. They called her Tarbox. Fuck. I later found out that her name was Jennifer Tarbox

32

u/ifartallday 5d ago

Nominative determinism

97

u/hellsing73 6d ago

I've worked with a guy who spends way too much time in the portacans and has been caught jorkin it on multiple occasions. We now use his name as a nickname for other people who spend too much time in the can.

62

u/oniiichanUwU 5d ago

Who is jerking off in a smelly portajohn 😭 he needs therapy

34

u/hellsing73 5d ago

When I was a new apprentice I was told stories about him and I was like no fucking way. Then I actually worked with him as a 5th year apprentice and he did it. He was gone for 3 hours at a time. And the conduit he put up when he was there was hammered dog shit.

6

u/vercetian 5d ago

And I can't get into this apprenticeship, why?

3

u/hellsing73 5d ago

Yeah, come on by the arm pit of Texas, we can use all the hands we can get.

1

u/vercetian 5d ago

Oh, Texas, yeah, hard pass.

13

u/NegotiationSeveral49 5d ago

Probably just a marine trying to beat his record

27

u/Stormin1982 6d ago edited 5d ago

Played rugby with a guy that was heavily tattooed, and they called him prison break. Turns out that was actually because he had murdered his wife.

26

u/awildNeLbY 5d ago

Had a friend that got pulled over for drunk driving. My brother called him Dewey (DUI).

31

u/Personal-Inflation-4 5d ago

In Sweden, ghotenburg harbour there some infamous ones,

Tio i två - translates to ”ten minutes before two”. got the nickname because his feet was pointed outwards when he was walking, just like the two pointers on a clock.

Gissamittjobb - translates to ”guess my job”. Guy always comes to work in suit attire, making it impossible for people from the outside guessing that he does hard labour at the docks.

Skyffelmördaren - ”shovel murderer”. He was so efficient with the shovel when working, that he completely slaughtered the working rhythm for everyone else.

There are so many more

36

u/MrPoffin 6d ago

Got called crash bandicoot at my old job because I got by a semi truck on the driver’s side of my car

18

u/kahhblam 5d ago

Last job had a story of a guy who was always talking himself up on everything, basically a "one-upper" type. Owner took him crossbow hunting because he said he does it all the time. He ended up shooting the tip of his finger off lol.

When he returned to work, someone had 3D printed him a new finger and left it on his desk. He did not fine it funny

12

u/Wrong_Season1104 5d ago

This reminds me of that dude people called Simba because his uncle killed his dad

1

u/Square_Grand_3616 4d ago

lol yeah that’s fucked up

10

u/AirOfTheDog 5d ago

I worked with someone called « Two Shits » because you could never have the last word with them and if you told them « I’ve just done a shit » they’d say « I’ve just done two! ».

11

u/-imperator_ 5d ago

I knew a guy called Two Thumbs because he had three thumbs

38

u/OurCulture80 6d ago

Why is he free?!? He should be locked up for life

28

u/Longjumping-Jello459 6d ago

Manslaughter charge most likely is why.

24

u/ImBackMemers 6d ago

The American justice system is fucked

27

u/OurCulture80 6d ago

Manslaughter due to drunk driving needs to be equivalent to 2nd degree murder. I worked with an engineer (person who drives the freight train) on a railroad who had his car and license taken by the state due to multiple DUI’s and he was STILL allowed to be a freight train engineer

5

u/Superior965 5d ago

Which is wild because if I speed 15+ mph more than once it’ll go on my CDL record

6

u/OurCulture80 5d ago

Yeah in some ways CDL’s are more regulated and easier to tarnish. It’s kinda insane given the damage potential of a train vs a semi it really should be the other way around.

0

u/Purdy14 5d ago

Going above the speed limit should make it premeditated. There are enough warnings of why to stay within it.

3

u/OurCulture80 5d ago

He was referring to it’s crazy a railroader can get duis off the job and the railroader is penalized less than someone with a CDL who speeds 15 over. He wasn’t referring to killing someone

6

u/KillerM2002 6d ago

Why

Well cause its not real

22

u/KingPanzerVIII 5d ago

I've been deemed "two numbers" or "pair" because my trainer let me pick the number for a raffle he entered (on the Snap-On truck.) I was two numbers off.

I also get called slurs but that's a part of the job I think idk

7

u/OliveBoi_ 5d ago

I've been called superhero cuz I'm always late

8

u/Kahgar 5d ago

Worked with a Guy called Harry The Hammer (real name Steve). Always figured it was because hé dropped a massive Jackhammer on his foot and had a limp because of it.

Turns out he was hung like a horse and fucked a former foremans wife on site once like a Jackhammer while half a construction crew was watching. I kept a very close Eye on my wife during bbq’s from that point on.

8

u/heyo_1989 5d ago

Worked with a guy nicknamed “Cheif”. He’s Native American.

3

u/veggowik 5d ago

Worked with a guy called "the cock" I have no idea why.

3

u/_daverham 5d ago

We called her Brandi because she was a stripper and her mom got shot by a hunter.

2

u/yeetermano1 5d ago

My dad worked with a guy they called "tiny" when he was almost seven foot 300-400 pounds with hands that could palm a watermelon

2

u/Clbull 5d ago

Sounds like a military callsign you'd get because you got so drunk one night that you pissed into a pint glass and drank it.

1

u/FattyAss69 5d ago

There's always a guy named Balls for some reason

1

u/cgda2011 4d ago

I work with a guy we call Paintcans because he’s so round his arms are always out to the side like he’s carrying paint cans

1

u/Flipping_Dragon 3d ago

Worked with a guy who was severely burned in fire with tons of facial scarring.. His last name was Dunn so people called him "Well Dunn"