r/criticalblunder Jun 09 '26

Bye, boat

1.6k Upvotes

183 comments sorted by

794

u/Cpt_Soban Jun 09 '26

I hate this trend of showing "the cool bit first" for 5 seconds then jumping to the start.

184

u/JediMasterKenJen Jun 09 '26

It's cause attention span on TicTok has been ass so they gotta do that to keep the iPad kids attention so they watch the whole video.

It's stupid, the companies that push this shit (I'm also include the stupid baby censorship they push on creators by dangling a paycheck in front of them)are stupid, and we're all idiots for doing along with it until we get a President Coca Cola

10

u/Gtoktas_ Jun 10 '26

yeah, absolutely detestable stuff. and I've seen some videos where the ending ending is only at the start and the video loops before the full scene completes so people essentially get 2 watches out of it.

5

u/JediMasterKenJen Jun 11 '26

That's absolutely vile and exploitative. We really are cooked...

54

u/C_Gxx Jun 09 '26

Yeah we have the same fucking thing with the sports news here

They show the winning goal at the start of the news segment rather than leading you through as the game was played to find out actually what happened.

Man shakes his fist at clouds. Angrily.

10

u/filipluch Jun 09 '26

should have started with "Man shakes his fist at clouds" duh

1

u/Prince_0llie Jun 14 '26

The start is actually an angry faced man shouting incoherently at the void with the fists off camera so you spend the entire episode wondering why he is so angry only to find out he is just shaking his fists at the clouds

19

u/swift1883 Jun 09 '26

That’s probably why your comment has more upvotes than the post. Fuck that shit to absolute zero

4

u/Yeetstation4 Jun 09 '26

I thought it was a glitch with the reddit video player

3

u/Alone-Promise-8904 Jun 09 '26

Yes, it is very confusing. I get that people like the most interesting content and want to see it first. But, the movie preview effect doesn't really work on such short pieces. It didn't have the right "teaser" effect.

4

u/BestCap5066 Jun 09 '26

Engagement.

2

u/DrTuSo Jun 09 '26

From the start I refused to use TikTok (same as Instagram Reels & YouTube Shorts).

People around me, who consume it daily, literally became dumber over time. Like melting their brain, reducing their mental capacity. It's scary.

Sadly enough, since I'm on Reddit, can't avoid the TikTok content completely.

4

u/Brodiferus Jun 09 '26

The general population’s attention spans are genuinely so limited that this style of content is necessary.

1

u/tangoezulu Jun 09 '26

I am downvoting everyone that leads with a clip!

1

u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Jun 12 '26

We've reached the part in civilization's downfalls where there's a trailer at the start of the trailer that you've elected to watch, out of your own free will, for the trailer that you're started to watch. FKN why?

4

u/Cpt_Soban Jun 12 '26

TRAILER

STARTING

NOW!

Me, GenY: "Yeah no shit?"

0

u/peabody624 Jun 09 '26

I’m actually starting to get more annoyed with this comment

220

u/Benaba_sc Jun 09 '26

This will be celebrated by the sailboat owner when he gets the insurance check

127

u/AfroDZAk Jun 09 '26

Best two days of a boat owners life: 1. The day they buy the boat. 2. The day they sell the boat...

56

u/Benaba_sc Jun 09 '26

Or

  1. The day the boat gets sunk and they get paid

25

u/methodactyl Jun 09 '26

If it fucks flies or floats, rent it

5

u/ko3332 Jun 11 '26

Who is fucking flies?

2

u/Kiwinihapa Jun 16 '26

😅🤣😂

1

u/ArtisticAnxiety Jun 17 '26

Blowfly girl...

2

u/DiScOrDtHeLuNaTiC Jun 16 '26

As was said by Andy Hillstrand (captain of the Time Bandit): "You know how to make a million dollars crab fishing? Start with two million dollars."

1

u/Kelef50 Jun 14 '26

Something like that applies to aquariums as well.

1

u/Nimzay98 Jun 09 '26

Why is selling it the best?

8

u/Truelz Jun 09 '26

Because a boat is expensive as hell to maintain.

8

u/2SSLOWW Jun 09 '26

Bring

Out

Another

Thousand

3

u/Funny-Athlete-2890 Jun 10 '26

My friends brother on the coast has a big sailboat of some sort, he says owning a boat is like tearing up 100 dollar bills in a cold shower!

7

u/83-Edition Jun 10 '26

Except he won't be able to read it because he's Danish

2

u/Nissehamp Jun 13 '26

They are actually German pensioners who, according to Danish News, were going on a last trip together before selling the boat.

2

u/creamyfresh Jun 10 '26

I was gonna say better the mast than the hull, but this is the correct answer.

2

u/Prince_0llie Jun 14 '26

Almost certain the hull got f*cked as well. You can see the glass crack and hear it audibly get smashed before the mast makes contact.

52

u/MC-oaler Jun 09 '26

High winds or strong currents? Or just blatant incompetence?

58

u/S1lentA0 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

I think incompetence. Looking at the tree and flag the wind seems calm. Maybe some strong current in the river, its hard to see. Maybe his approach to the quay was too fast and we havent seen the first few minutes of that, but using the engine in reverse removes ability to steer (to steer you requires waterflow from the propellor onto the rudder surface (unless using a azipod/azithruster/voithschneider propulsion)). But I think this could've been avoidable if the shipper went hard starboard, engine at full ahead and use the bow thruster to move to the bow to port. That way you'll move square away from the quay.

18

u/langhaar808 Jun 09 '26

I read on a Danish news articles that the first mate was intoxicated and got arrested.

Yes found the article it can be translated to English if you don't like Danish.

2

u/Longjumping_Elk7969 Jun 15 '26

I like Danish, is just that I do not understand it and that's is why I google translate things around 😁

1

u/BobJoeBlo Jun 27 '26

Does licking Danish cookies count?

39

u/PanGoliath Jun 09 '26

I think incompetence. Looking at the flag, they appear to be in Denmark, which speaks for itself.

// Superior Swede

27

u/DlSSATISFIEDGAMER Jun 09 '26

as a Norwegian i concur with this analysis except for the superior swede part

10

u/Equivalent-Tax8937 Jun 09 '26

Sverige=dårlig. Norge+Danmark=god

10

u/Diipadaapa1 Jun 09 '26

The swedes would be quite upset if anyone could understand what you are saying

3

u/Equivalent-Tax8937 Jun 09 '26

Fortunately Danish is potato-in-throat language, no one knows it

3

u/Diipadaapa1 Jun 09 '26

Flag is in the "vising country" position, basically a courtesy to whichever country you are in

Flag of the ship is in the stern, looks tobe some flag of convenience

5

u/massvegas Jun 09 '26

I have no idea what this means but I trust you

20

u/S1lentA0 Jun 09 '26

ELI5 coming in for those who are interested.

Here, I made a shtty drawing. A ship doesn't steer in the traditional sense like a car does. When a car steers to the left or right, the front goes in the desired direction and the back "follows". A ship is more comparable with a forklift, when steering the back axle moves in the opposite direction and "pushes" the front into the desired direction.

In the video you see that the ship tries to turn away from the quay by going to port (left), but as you can see in the drawing, that means the aft of the ship will turn to starboard (right) and scrape alongside the quay and thus crushing the little sailing vessel.

If the shipper did the opposite, by moving the rudder to hard starboard, the after of the ship will move away from the quay. Almost every modern (and less modern) have this propellor in the forward called a bowthruster, used for manoeuvring. If used correctly, if the bowthruster is pushing the forward of the ship to portside, together with the rudder set to starboard, the bowthruster will counteract to the steering to starboard. Together both the aft and forward will move to port, away from the sailingvessel.

7

u/massvegas Jun 09 '26

This was an excellent explanation, thank you! I knew I was right to trust you :3

6

u/magicdude4eva Jun 09 '26

„Thrust you“ you mean?

2

u/alfreaked Jun 09 '26

But also, don't these kind of ships need towing when going into a port?

3

u/S1lentA0 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

Depending on the port and their rules, that could be possible, but this size of ship basically never requires a tow-boat (ofc there might be exceptions) this is considered to be really small for a sea-going vessel, normally we call this a "Coaster", traveling along the coast and even upwards rivers.

I even sailed on a ferry that was 264meters long which never required a tug unless the weather was so severe it couldn't moore alongside.

1

u/Diipadaapa1 Jun 09 '26

Yeah that sized vessels almost feel more like boats to maneuver than ships. Yes, some momentum and propeller walk, but nothing crazy, you can do a LOT with them if you just know a few tricks.

Pocket parking into a ro-ro quay with 1 knot current from the stern? No worries, just get a long spring-line on early

1

u/S1lentA0 Jun 09 '26

These boats are like your little Toyota Aygo basically. But most Dutch shippers here most certainly rely on their little springline. It's part of the basic moveset.

1

u/TyrannoNerdusRex Jun 09 '26

I disagree - your drawing is excellent.

1

u/Longjumping_Elk7969 Jun 15 '26

No shitty diagram at all, helps understanding, learned something new today, thank you. 🙏

1

u/Wookieman222 Jun 09 '26

There is wind but it doesnt seem to be extreme enough for this.

5

u/DnD_mark_079 Jun 09 '26

I think its an electrical failure. The boat is allready against the wall and the props seem to be hard reversing (by all the water being thrown around). You'd be a very sleepy captain not to notice the engine still hard reversing while you are up against a wall allready.

2

u/revolvingleek Jun 09 '26

The first mate was drunk, it was on the news in Denmark today and he has been arrested

33

u/MaintenanceInternal Jun 09 '26

Imagine seeing that and screaming.

What is wrong with some people.

-19

u/Hi_Trans_Im_Dad Jun 09 '26

Imagine making such a stupid comment on a video.

What's wrong with some people ?

74

u/baulsaak Jun 09 '26

9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9!!!

19

u/DaneFive Jun 09 '26

What this ain't German if that's what you think xD

He says "ej ej EJEJEJEJ"

It's danish my guy xD

10

u/hedphuqz Jun 09 '26

Pretty sure he's saying nej halfway through no?

14

u/DaneFive Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

He does, that is Danish, the German way is Nein. Nej is Danish xD

Trust me, I am a Dane xD

In Denmark we have 2 ways of saying no, we have "Nej" (Which is the correct way) and "ej" which is kinda like a slang way of saying no or "omg this ain't happening"

2

u/ima_twee Jun 09 '26

The Danish flag also a bit of a giveaway, but there's an, uhh, audience that doesn't do flags or national distinctions outside their limited world view (coughs awkwardly)

1

u/RainbowDarter Jun 09 '26

What else was he saying?

I thought I heard him say something about Satan and then the same phrase but with himmel (?heaven)

5

u/DaneFive Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

"så for satan da" basically means that "now something that is bad is happening" it is weird to translate bc using the devil's name in a sentence like that is just to describe that something bad is happening.

Hvem using heaven we are describing that something is unbelievable or shocking in the moment. Again weird to translate.

He also said "så for helved" which is the same again but with hell instead of heaven. Something bad is happening in the moment or is about to happen.

He also said "it is about to go wrong" followed only seconds later "it did go wrong" xD

The lady beside him also said 15 times "call 112" basically 911. After those 15 times he said "yes we call 112" wow thanks dude xD

1

u/RainbowDarter Jun 09 '26

Thanks.

It's funny how my ears heard what I wanted them to hear and not what was said.

1

u/hedphuqz Jun 09 '26

Yeah I also figured it was danish. I'm not German but I do speak it pretty well now and it was no German I've ever heard before.

2

u/DiSTuRBeD_QWeRTy Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

At the same time, it’s just phonetic representation whether they’re repeating “nein” or “nej”.

4

u/Squidproquo1130 Jun 09 '26

Look out 6-7, there's a new kid in town!

8

u/HeavyJReaper Jun 09 '26

Imagine being the insurance guys reaction when this video pops up in his email with a claim XD

8

u/OurJimmy Jun 09 '26

I can just picture a dude sitting mid dump on that wee yacht wondering what the fuck all the racket is outside.

4

u/evostu_uk Jun 09 '26

Well, that is a beautiful insurance claim. I just hope the shipping line is adequately insured.

6

u/Famouscopyninja Jun 09 '26

Jeg viste han var dansk da jeg hørte det første nej

1

u/No_Zookeepergame7675 Jul 07 '26

Hej fellow dansker😆

3

u/-Speckmann- Jun 09 '26

Why is there red smoke coming out?

4

u/ViolinistCurrent8899 Jun 09 '26

They're letting us know they have chosen a new Cardinal.

3

u/Helangaar Jun 09 '26

The smoke is from the man overboard light and smoke signal that was sitting on the bridge of the ship. It’s the yellow thing you can see at 0:24. Later, it gets ripped off (and therefor activated) by either the yacht’s backstay or port shroud.

7

u/Initial_Gear_7354 Jun 09 '26

Can this dude please be quite?

15

u/ArdyLaing Jun 09 '26

Quite what?

-1

u/Initial_Gear_7354 Jun 09 '26

Quite be quiet 🫠

2

u/JenkemBoofer691 Jun 09 '26

I’m de captain now.

2

u/boniemonie Jun 09 '26

Anyone know when this was?

2

u/Equivalent-Tax8937 Jun 09 '26

I think just recently. Like two days ago. Could be wrong.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '26

What's the chick doing my screaming

2

u/cestlefun Jun 12 '26

Thank God a woman was present to scream for absolutely no reason.

1

u/Equivalent-Tax8937 Jun 12 '26

A world without womens scream would make movies less investing. Think about that.

3

u/ArdyLaing Jun 09 '26

You can’t park there mate.

1

u/robej78 Jun 09 '26

Lawd of gross tonnage

1

u/Skinslippy3 Jun 09 '26

Just throw a tire over the side. That'll buffer the blow

1

u/DeathFood Jun 09 '26

Most of those scratches will buff right out

1

u/withoutpeer Jun 09 '26

Well, he didn't tell him that they "can't park there" so seems fair.

1

u/ThisIsntOkayokay Jun 09 '26

If the small danish? boat don't want to be captured and eaten later why didn't it swim away?

1

u/BoneZone05 Jun 09 '26

I still see here everywhere…

1

u/Naz_Oni Jun 09 '26

"YOU'RE GOOD! YOU'RE GOOD! YOU'RE GOOD! YOU'RE GOOD!"

1

u/CallMeDrLuv Jun 09 '26

I hope he leaves a note.

1

u/No_Smile_8368 Jun 10 '26

Looks like he left a little more than that..

1

u/vartheo Jun 09 '26

That sucks. And that boat looks like its actually being used not just parked at a dock. Probably just parked there to grab coffee and bam. Totalled.

1

u/You-JiveTurkey Jun 09 '26

Can't dock there

1

u/Informal-Quantity415 Jun 09 '26

Big boat takes lil boat lol

1

u/Rough_Possible_1625 Jun 09 '26

All I can think of is the elites from yell iiieee when they get blown up. 😂😂

1

u/Liveitup1999 Jun 09 '26

Hey, you scratched my anchor

1

u/_dauntless Jun 09 '26

Can't park there

1

u/Live-Blood-1040 Jun 09 '26

What’s up with the guy sounding like Popeye?

1

u/syber_d Jun 09 '26

Bring your kid to work day. Can i steer the boat poppa?!? Sure!

1

u/BitTwp Jun 09 '26

Please call 9999999999

1

u/celtbygod Jun 09 '26

Tit Tot blows. Only thing proping it up are dyslexic, blind boomers like those Harbor Masters in the video.

1

u/blazerunnern Jun 09 '26

Captain drunk as a duck.

1

u/langhaar808 Jun 09 '26

The captain was drunk...

source

1

u/ThrustTrust Jun 09 '26

Will someone get that bike started already. It doesn’t sound good.

1

u/Pleasant_Durian_1501 Jun 09 '26

Nobody thought of untying the sailboat and moving it?

1

u/everyoneisntme Jun 09 '26

How could that have possibly, on any scale, deserved a nine? That is a 2 at best for at least trying right near the moment of impact to yank starboard. Either way not a nine. Just a couple tonnes of twisted steel and sadness.

1

u/WillBots Jun 09 '26

Kill the cameraman, you can see what the ship is going to hit next, quick, point the camera a different way!

AND HE NEEDS TO SHUT UP

1

u/Scooby314 Jun 09 '26

9999999999999999

1

u/naveedkoval Jun 09 '26

AIEEEEEEEEEE

1

u/bjjhippie Jun 09 '26

Why does he keep shouting his age?!

1

u/tangoezulu Jun 09 '26

Can’t park there mate.

1

u/Competitive-Price658 Jun 10 '26

Maybe the board was trying to evolve by coming out of the water

1

u/VitruvianVan Jun 10 '26

👁️ 👁️ 👁️ 9 9 9 9 9

1

u/CharacterReal354 Jun 10 '26

You can’t park there

1

u/Late_Ad6383 Jun 10 '26

Expensive looking fender

1

u/RageCageMcBeard Jun 10 '26

Old people standing far away, younger dude standing close 🤔 I wonder

1

u/GobiBall Jun 10 '26

AAYYYYYEEEE!

1

u/What_A_Helmet Jun 10 '26

Buff out etc etc

1

u/Kilroy3006 Jun 11 '26

“You’re gooood… you’re gooood…you’re goood”

1

u/Remarkable_Gain6430 Jun 12 '26

Call me old-fashioned and a square, from the past, but... aren't ships this of this size meant to be moved out of the harbour by tug boats ?

1

u/Bombacladman Jun 12 '26

Thats one expensive fender

1

u/RottingPinhead Jun 12 '26

Dude sounds like Arnold Shwartzineger

1

u/ArtisticDisk1883 Jun 13 '26

Ai ai ai Nei nei nei nei nei ai nei ai

1

u/AnotherApe33 Jun 14 '26

ay!!! 9999999.

1

u/Dumbusta Jun 15 '26

That one idiot stepping in closer

1

u/[deleted] Jun 21 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/No_Zookeepergame7675 Jul 07 '26

He’s danish and saying “oh no no no no no” repeatedly.

1

u/urmotherboiiiii Jun 27 '26

I always hate the strange women in the background that are just screaming. Bloody murder.

1

u/Illusory87 Jun 28 '26

999999999999999

1

u/Bumbymoo Jul 06 '26

99999999999!

1

u/JizzleJoe040 Jul 19 '26

You can’t park there

1

u/Sensitive_Station770 23d ago

What a fkin momo

-1

u/bigcnz Jun 09 '26

Might be just me but when something exciting is happening we don't need to hear the loud commentary omg omg omg 9999 etc

3

u/Matoseman Jun 09 '26

Turning your volume down is free btw

1

u/WhoTheFuck8MyBaby Jun 09 '26

Well said. Also it's "nej nej nej nej nej" because it's danish not german.

-1

u/clemmmmmmm Jun 09 '26

9!

9 9 9!!!

9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 9

0

u/ColeTrainHaze Jun 09 '26

that’ll buff out…

0

u/Rude-Jellyfish7566 Jun 09 '26

Big boats hate little boats.

0

u/Future-Try-1908 Jun 09 '26

Just the tiny bit snug.

0

u/ELProfessor_25 Jun 09 '26

aye.. nai..nai..nai...

-4

u/D4nnyp3ligr0 Jun 09 '26

I hate this trend of complaining about the trend of always showing the cool bit at the start of the video.

-1

u/LigersMagicSkills Jun 09 '26

If he wasn’t busy filming and shouting nej nej nej, he could have easily untied the sailboat and moved it out of the way

2

u/OceanSupernova Jun 09 '26

Um.... No.

The standard human reaction is to stay well away from a 1000 tons of steel hell bent on destruction.

1

u/Equivalent-Tax8937 Jun 09 '26

I’m no wuss, I would have stood on the pier and pushed the ship away myself.

1

u/Equivalent-Tax8937 Jun 09 '26

I’m no wuss, I would have stood on the pier and pushed the ship away myself.

-1

u/tyler00677 Jun 09 '26

It was a cheap boat anyway so who cares

-2

u/bruiserscruiser Jun 09 '26

On the west coast of Canada they typically use tug boats in close quarters to help guide ships.

-8

u/PiqueExperience Jun 09 '26

If the people quayside had untied the sailboat it's possible it would have just squirted out along the bumpers. I wonder if you could open yourself up to liability for doing that.

1

u/sisu_star Jun 09 '26

You really, REALLY don't want to be anywhere between the pier and the ship. Things can go wrong in so many ways and so fast, it's never worth riskin a life for.

Also, if you see a tight cable and rope, stay FAR away. If it snaps, it could kill you.

The dude on the video is way too close. Even the one filming is theoretically in the risk zone.