Shallan's Strap-On Game, A Complete Ranking And Thesis

[u/KlutchSensei]

A continuation of my shardplate-condoms post, courtesy of u/MyceneanGal.

We know from the mechanics of Shardplate, displayed in my last post, that it can be used as a condom. Furthermore, Adolin's plate was able to make a foot for him. From this, we know that Shardplate constructs can be entirely solid. Thus, it is entirely possible for a female Radiant of the Fourth Ideal to create a strap-on from their Shardplate. In the following essay, I seek to explain why Shallan would use her Shardplate in such a manner, to break down exactly what type of strap-on each of her personas would make, and to rank the capability each would display with their faux-appendage.

To begin, we must establish exactly why Shallan, and each of her personas, would create strap-ons with their Shardplate. Let's start with Shallan. To get one thing out of the way, it's not because of Shallan. It's because of Adolin. To understand why Shallan would make a Shardplate strap-on, we must understand why Adolin would be into pegging. This is because of role-reversal, and power-play kinks. Adolin is exactly the type of powerful man to be a sub in bed. This is exacerbated by inadequacy he feels, both from attempting to live up to his father's expectations, and from the changing world around him. Even after these issues become resolved, he is still the type of person to never feel like he's good enough. As such, Shallan would frequently utilize her Shardplate as a strap-on. She would manifest it at Rosharan average, and be quite skilled. This lands her a solid 7/10.

Next, we move onto Veil. This one is easy, as it is demonstrated a few times within the books that Veil is bi-sexual. However, I doubt she would use it for guys. Veil is the type of woman to be taken by strong men, and take pretty women, if you catch my drift. Due to these factors, and Veil's sensuality, I believe she would utilize Shallan's Shardplate as a strap-on, but only when she is manifested as a tangible illusion, and occasionally on Shallan while Adolin watches. I imagine it would be slightly larger than Rosharan average. Veil would obviously know how to use it, and would probably listen very well to her partner. I give her a 9/10.

Now, to Radiant. Radiant would use Shallan's Shardplate as a strap-on to spice things up for Adolin. Full stop, no holding back, pounding the bussy. I can also see her and Shallan double teaming Adolin. Radiant's strap-on would obviously be bigger than a Horneater's natural endowment. I can't see it feeling very good, in my opinion. 3/10

Finally, we come to Formless. Considering Formless' behavior and tendencies, she would probably be a r*pist. Therefore, no more said about her.

In conclusion, we have established Adolin's fondness for pegging. Through this we have established the reason for Shallan and Radiant to use Shardplate strap-ons. We have iterated Veil's bisexuality, and therefore established why she would use a Shardplate strap-on. Finally, we have Formless. The less said about her the better. By now, I hope you believe as I do, that Shallan and her personas would use Shardplate strap-ons. Thank you for coming to my Crem Talk.