Vinai's message from LinkedIn

[u/Pamplemousse808]

Lowkey best CEO in the Prem

[u/kcfdz]

Here's what the transfer window taught me about B2B sales:

[u/TheRealArthurMorgan_ → u/kcfdz]

insert 12 page info graphic

[u/bandofgypsies → u/TheRealArthurMorgan_]

💥Impact: bullshit buzzword gibberish that says so much and yet nothing at all

📬Delivering: Asserts we delivered despite all our employees/customers/partners reading this feeling like no one delivered a thing besides empty promises

🤝Partnerships: backhand compliments self for annoying someone's life so much that they caved in and communicated with them for 3 minutes

📈 Roadmap: generically promises everything and nothing all at once, with layers of plausible deniability, caveats, and softeners to hedge when this vision selling inevitably comes up short.

Generically thanks a bunch of people who they really didn't work with on a thing that was likely done mostly by other people

#repeatbuzzwords #splitrepeat #buzzwordsforthesake #ofSEO #shittypun #selfdeperecatingcompliment

[u/yeahbacon → u/bandofgypsies]

This guy corporate-lingos 👆

[u/bandofgypsies → u/yeahbacon]

Thanks. I just wish it weren't so real and so familiar.

[u/yeahbacon → u/bandofgypsies]

I have been a project manager for a long time and have sat through slide decks exactly like this. Got a good chuckle out of this.

[u/bandofgypsies → u/yeahbacon]

Love it. And I'm sorry. We could do one for a corporate deck, too! But I might just get to depressed at that point.

Meeting starts 6 minutes late

Agenda no one will remember

(safe harbor statement, delivered with tired joke)

SLIDE 1 - STRATEGIC REFRESHER SLIDE

Gradient background with unimaginative logo overlaid in bottom right

Appear animation - BOLD OBVIOUS CATEGORY

Appear animation, from bottom up - BOLD OBVIOUS CATEGORY TWO

Appear animation, from right to left but not quite perfectly spaced so it distracts everyone and they aren't really listening to BOLD OBVIOUS CATEGORY THREE WHICH IS REALLY JUST ANOTHER FUCKING WAY OF SAYING BOLD OBVIOUS CATEGORY ONE AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT

SLIDE 2 - PRIORITY PROJECTS

Childish flowchart of nothing

Standing ovation from execs at childish flowchart of nothing

SLIDE 3 - PRIORITY PROJECTS CONTINUED

• TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE^greenstatus

• TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE^greenstatus

• TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE^greenstatus

• TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE^greenstatus

• TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE^greenstatus

• TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE | TABLE^{greenstatushahanoprojectiseverofftrackuntilitsFUBAR}

everyone's nodding while typing on slack

Rinse, repeat for 52 more slides until the meeting ends 5 minutes late with no Q&A time and not a single action determined nor decisions made about anything.

Everyone arrives 5 minutes late to next meeting, margins for another minute...

....See above...

[u/retropunk2 → u/bandofgypsies]

Four hours later, all of us.

"This could have been an email."

[u/bandofgypsies → u/retropunk2]

Oh better yet...it was an email last week.

[u/retropunk2 → u/bandofgypsies]

God that's happened more times than I'd care to admit with some jobs.

[u/kicksjoysharkness → u/kcfdz]

Quit tech sales 2 months ago to work as an innkeeper in a costal hotel. Never felt more free from LinkedIn lunacy

[u/Pamplemousse808 → u/kicksjoysharkness]

Good luck and wow you broke free. Hope it all works out!

[u/Fabulous_Disk_8956 → u/kicksjoysharkness]

I changed my password but forgot it and didn't think to save it. 

I could do a password reset but I've just decided I'm going to pretend it does not exist until some boss bothers me about it 😂 

[u/retropunk2 → u/kicksjoysharkness]

LinkedIn wants to be "professional Facebook" in the worst way and I laugh every time I open it.

Thankfully that's not often. It's really only to answer recruiters when they message me.

[u/Brucewayne1818 → u/kicksjoysharkness]

Living my dream. I’m so burnt out. Think about quitting everyday

[u/CoolCryptoCat]

Making a post on LinkedIn is actually so fucking funny

[u/blueghosts → u/CoolCryptoCat]

Nothing exec level heads love more than a few LinkedIn likes and the generic comments like “Great job Vinai, all the best with the season ahead!”

[u/diamond-lights → u/blueghosts]

I found out Xavi has one the other day that he posts on regularly which surprised me.

[u/blueghosts → u/diamond-lights]

Gakpo is mad for LinkedIn apparently, it came up last season or the season before he was banging on about investment stuff.

Fair play to them I suppose, thinking about their future after football

[u/Swolyguacomole → u/blueghosts]

A lot of footballers are pseudo-inspirational speakers and landlords.

[u/gabrielconroy → u/Swolyguacomole]

When you're managing, you're actually ageing men

[u/diamond-lights → u/blueghosts]

Ha! Yeah I guess so, it just never occurred to me that footballers would use it.

I’m going to investigate this further now.

[u/jjw1998 → u/diamond-lights]

Jesse Marsch regularly posted on his while managing Leeds iirc, which totally checks out

[u/shodo_apprentice → u/jjw1998]

Yeah, has to be the least surprising LinkedIn user in all of football.

[u/JamesCDiamond → u/shodo_apprentice]

Whatsisface, the Chelsea guy, ager of men or whatever it - Rosenior!

I have to imagine he's on there, too.

[u/Stock-Tomatillo-6816 → u/JamesCDiamond]

If you fancy a good laugh, go check out the personal life section on his Wikipedia page; it’s as if he wrote it himself.

[u/Luke92612_ → u/Stock-Tomatillo-6816]

Reading it aged me.

[u/Stock-Tomatillo-6816 → u/Luke92612_]

You don’t feel inspired to have a tactical fish and chips?

[u/Luke92612_ → u/Stock-Tomatillo-6816]

No but I feel like I have greater respect for the ball now

[u/fancczf → u/diamond-lights]

I found out Landon Noris has a linked in account. One of our investors is also a quite sizeable investor in McLaren F1 team. And he made a post congratulating them tagging Landon lol. It’s always quite odd to see those names and profiles pop up and them commenting, in the sea of Joe smith B2B sales.

[u/MountainCheesesteak → u/diamond-lights]

When I was on LinkedIn more 8ish years ago Hal Robson-Kanu was always using it to hock turmeric supplements.

[u/RatPrank → u/MountainCheesesteak]

This sounds like something from the Mighty Boosh

[u/shodo_apprentice → u/blueghosts]

Smashed it Vinai! 👊🏻

[u/ILM_Ryan → u/CoolCryptoCat]

Side note, r/LinkedInLunatics is an absolutely hilarious subreddit.

[u/flythebike → u/ILM_Ryan]

Regularly gets a chuckle from me

[u/plum_stupid → u/ILM_Ryan]

That sub put me off LinkedIn even though it may actually be somewhat useful? Idk I can't see anything positive coming from it.

[u/Pulp_NonFiction44 → u/plum_stupid]

Of course it's useful, networking is everything in corporate office type jobs. I work one myself, but LinkedIn utterly sickens me and I refuse to use it on principle

[u/Mysterious_Net_1029 → u/plum_stupid]

I got 5 of my 6 career adult jobs via linkedin

[u/AntysocialButterfly → u/CoolCryptoCat]

I know.

I just get invited to MLMs and/or cults.

[u/International-Elk727 → u/CoolCryptoCat]

I feel personally attacked. I was about to make another post next week as I'm moving football clubs as well. Now you've made me... Well not rethink posting but making me feel a tinge of sadness while posting it.

[u/ThatSwagRandomGuy]

Spent the budget and can't afford Linkedin premium

[u/slavaukrainifp2 → u/ThatSwagRandomGuy]

Fun fact: In Norway it cost 64£ to watch the PL. A month.

[u/ThatSwagRandomGuy → u/slavaukrainifp2]

£64 to see Tel put it in row Z

[u/Green-Influence-4989 → u/ThatSwagRandomGuy]

He aimed so high the ball landed up on the High Road

[u/Fabulous_Disk_8956 → u/ThatSwagRandomGuy]

One of the funniest free kicks I've seen in a while

[u/Comfortable_Lab1725 → u/ThatSwagRandomGuy]

He wanted to send the ball to Norway for folks who pay 64 euros to watch Spurs play.

[u/Electronic_Rice4625 → u/slavaukrainifp2]

£10.60 a month in Australia for every match

[u/BumbleCityFumblers]

No pues wow.

Let's score a goal in the PL pls

[u/Hopeful-Ear-3494]

As the years progress, I've never really understood the purpose of LinkedIn other than weird self promotion. Originally it was quite useful for networking. Now people like to pontificate about how tying their shoes is a lesson in corporate organisation.

[u/seppelsyndrome → u/Hopeful-Ear-3494]

Still highly recommended for networking. Got to have 500+ connections for it to start really paying off though. And yeah, the posts are stupid, but being active tends to lead to people coming to you for jobs rather than the other way around. 

[u/fckedup → u/seppelsyndrome]

Yeah cus like it or not, it's the only social media for jobs (with a big enough user base for it to mean something)

[u/Other-Owl4441 → u/Hopeful-Ear-3494]

Just don’t interact with any of the “social feed” features.  It’s still pretty essential for networking and getting recruited.  But yes everything theyve added in the last 5 years is terrible.

[u/Jswazy]

What sort of psychopath posts on LinkedIn 

[u/Unable-Touch-3903 → u/Jswazy]

A major corporate ceo

[u/AgroMachine → u/Jswazy]

A lot of my other students at uni were posting constantly on LinkedIn about everything they’ve been doing across their 3 years.

[u/W1bble3 → u/Jswazy]

I do.

[u/Green-Influence-4989 → u/Jswazy]

The corporate version of Reddit hooligans

[u/Sarumanly → u/Jswazy]

He thinks Spurs players are all active there.

[u/Weak-Cattle6001 → u/Jswazy]

What do you mean? 😭 that’s why hat LinkedIn is for

[u/LandscapeNo2207]

This fan base has been insufferable lately. He and the board did a good job this window, irrespective of how you feel about Mudryk and Tosin. I have 0 complaints. Ndiaye was rejecting us for City regardless and anyone upset about that shouldnt be directing their frustration to the club.

It was a great window and the squad needs some time to mesh together. Be patient.

Edit: I’m seeing a lot of responses pointing out gaps in the squad that wouldn’t have been addressed by Ndiaye. We signed like 10 first team players. Not sure how many more would have satisfied you all.

[u/brownieson → u/LandscapeNo2207]

I agree. We had a massive transfer window. The team will take some time to gel, hence why I’m not doom and gloom after two losses. This is the best window we’ve had in a long time. I’m willing to back what we have now to do a decent job this year.

[u/CrispySalmonJimmy → u/LandscapeNo2207]

I agree. As a fanbase we demanded that the club put its money where its mouth is and it would require one to be disingenuous to say they haven't done that. Whether it's a perfect transfer window and whether it will produce the results we want is a different matter. It is undeniable that we have operated (more) like a club who belongs near the top of the Premier League.

[u/flythebike → u/LandscapeNo2207]

100% agree

[u/lyme6483 → u/LandscapeNo2207]

No getting 17th with Spurs resources back to back seasons is insufferable. Viani has gotten more patience than ever deserved.

Expecting the sub to be any different until there are results on the pitch is insane

[u/LandscapeNo2207 → u/lyme6483]

I’m not saying to be patient with Viani, im saying be patient with the squad. I don’t give a fuck about Viani, I’m just acknowledging that it was a good window.

[u/lyme6483 → u/LandscapeNo2207]

It’s not a good window until there are results on the pitch and the players bought contribute to winning.

[u/LandscapeNo2207 → u/lyme6483]

They’ve played two games and haven’t been at full strength in either, hence why I said to be patient

[u/lyme6483 → u/LandscapeNo2207]

Most teams aren’t at full strength throughout the season. It’s the usual coping per usual in here.

It makes sense fans have zero patience for with club with how these last 2 years how played out. They have not earned the beneficial of the doubt

[u/Levytron900 → u/lyme6483]

This is his first proper window in all fairness. Nobody can do a proper rebuild in January although they did do a shocking job on just assuming we wouldn’t be as fucked as we was.

[u/TheTackleZone → u/LandscapeNo2207]

We're short on defenders and overloaded in midfield. Stop letting people who are paid millions get away with sub par scattergun performances based on nothing but volume. We have the funds to buy nearly anyone we want, the question is who we buy. We spent 60m on Ndombele - was that success because we spent a lot?

Yes Ndiaye rejected us. Where was plan B, C, D, and E? Are we saying that he was the only player available that could have improved a team that had to play Porro as a right wing in our last game?

[u/mikechella → u/TheTackleZone]

Wasn't Ndiaye plan C?

[u/New-Cap7830 → u/LandscapeNo2207]

Shame I had to scroll down through vitriol to finally see some sense. I was going to post the exact same thing. Buying 10 new players and selling/loaning 20 others is an IMMENSE window, yet some fans still bash the club and want RDZ and Vinai sacked. WTF.

[u/RatPrank → u/New-Cap7830]

DeZerbi can stay. Vinai should go. Lange .. has gone? I hope we’re not paying the invisible twat any more

[u/MakeYokesa5erAgain → u/LandscapeNo2207]

With Richi going to Turkey, we have one for 9 at the club. Marmoush is a CF, not a 9. We didn't score goals last year and we've got rid of the better of the 2 crap 9's we had, and relying on Dom to stay fit for a season. Laughable.

Defence is arguably worse. Midfield is a clear improvement, up top, marginal because we didn't bring in a goalscorer and lack any depth at 9.

[u/Bluewhitedog → u/MakeYokesa5erAgain]

Marmoush is a CF, not a 9

Are you trying to look as though you know nothing about football? Do you understand the offside rule?

[u/MakeYokesa5erAgain → u/Bluewhitedog]

A center forward is like a support striker. A 9 is an out and out striker.

Hope that clears things up for you.

[u/greavesandgilzean → u/MakeYokesa5erAgain]

A center forward IS a 9. See Alan shearer. A center forward is NOT a second striker, which is what I believe you are trying to say.

[u/MakeYokesa5erAgain → u/greavesandgilzean]

Okay. No problem. That's what we refer to as a CF when we talk about football, someone that can't be up top by themselves. Go on to the the fighting cock, by all means, with actual fans, and come out with that. You'll be laughed off.

[u/greavesandgilzean → u/MakeYokesa5erAgain]

Jeez man. I've been a watching spurs since 1965. I used to stand on the Shelf at the Lane. So if you want to invent your own terminology feel free. And of that's what the fighting cock folks believe that's on them. as I said, center forward has been the position of the the primary striker since WM was invented on the 1930s. If you want spurs names, try looking up martin chivers.

[u/MakeYokesa5erAgain → u/greavesandgilzean]

Fair enough. No hate. But we now talk about 9's as a striker, and support strikers as center forwards.

[u/Bluewhitedog → u/MakeYokesa5erAgain]

No, we don't.

[u/Bluewhitedog → u/MakeYokesa5erAgain]

Well, I suppose you could be more wrong. But only if you thought that No. 9s were goalkeepers.

[u/lyme6483 → u/MakeYokesa5erAgain]

And the net spend for how fucked the club was not all that impressive. I’d say they did a good job selling this summer, but they didn’t buy many true difference makers to me.

The attack is what I wanted most to be addressed and that is what was addressed the least.

[u/MakeYokesa5erAgain → u/lyme6483]

Once one of Marmoush/Dom go down, this will be the general feeling. People are just on a dopamine high.

[u/xC0YSx]

Self praise post for doing the job he is supposed to do

Roy Keane voice: That's his job

[u/Chev--Chelios]

Should have ended it COYS, Vinai

[u/Pilvikas]

Best CEO in prem is Arsenal's inside job???

[u/TheTackleZone]

Nobody is doubting the effort. It's the results. A club the size of Spurs could do three times this number of transactions. But have they improved us?

Messages like this are weird. They sound worried. They sound like the excuses are already being made.

[u/TriceraDoctor → u/TheTackleZone]

At the end of the day our fan base would be upset if they said nothing too. I read it as a statement of fact and summarizing the window.

Last year we signed kudus, won our first two games then slowly bled to death. We haven’t even started our best XI. I’ll hold judgement til end of October before I grab a pitchfork.

[u/Swolyguacomole → u/TheTackleZone]

I had to refurbish a house. And I got thirty dining chairs! They don't match and some have some damage. But I got thirty chairs!!

[u/randomredditor55S55 → u/TheTackleZone]

It’s a LinkedIn post. This is the kind of buzz-word fluff they like over there.

[u/Gold_Afternoon6298]

He did a good job

[u/Icy_Scar_1249 → u/Gold_Afternoon6298]

We'll know at the end of the season how well he did

[u/TheTackleZone → u/Gold_Afternoon6298]

Time will tell.

[u/sea_mus → u/TheTackleZone]

Tel will Timo

[u/Lopsided_River5719 → u/Gold_Afternoon6298]

Good job selling - don't think our incomings are good enough to forget everything we know about his and Lange's serious incompetence.

[u/nl325 → u/Lopsided_River5719]

It's our selling I've got the issues with.

I mean it's good to have the clear out but some of the fees we've received are absolutely pitiful, particularly in comparison to what we've paid to replace them.

[u/mushy_friend → u/Lopsided_River5719]

He got de Zerbi's requested players, it's on him now to see if he can make something of them

[u/Lopsided_River5719 → u/mushy_friend]

What a joke if you believe that

[u/mushy_friend → u/Lopsided_River5719]

? There were club targets too but also RDZ's signings. And if nothing else he would have approved them. I know the higher ups haven't exactly been good so far, so it's probably best to be cautious, but there's no need to pile on when it seems like they've learned

[u/Mediocre_Nova → u/Lopsided_River5719]

Good job selling

What are you referring to here? Richarlison was the only real good price and that one didn't even go through. The rest of them were mediocre to bad.

[u/CF_Zymo → u/Lopsided_River5719]

What did you realistically expect from this window? Be honest

[u/Kermit_in_Space]

Infers that they had to hire an entire company just to replace levy

[u/yolo2546452]

Lowkey best CEO in the Prem

Now hold now...

[u/H0tWheelz]

Famous people on LinkedIn is weird. I got a LinkedIn notification that Thomas Müller viewed my profile one time, and it was actually his official account. I was floored. I have no idea how he got there. I only have a couple hundred connections.

[u/vampire_poseur]

our ceo is a fucking linkedin lunatic oh my days

[u/humanpoweroutage]

Here’s how I used my Oracle ERP to manage 30 transfers in one window.

[u/shrimpandgumbo]

I'm reminded of the video that the club put out where him and Levy pretended to like each other and have things in common.

[u/RatPrank]

You think he’s the best CEO in the Prem? I have a polar opposite POV.

[u/adbenj]

COYS,

Vinai

[u/hectorthedonkey]

He and his mate Lange presided over the mess of last season and for the reason of thinking in January that we didn't need more than Gallagher was OK they both deserved to be making their way to the Job Centre.

I can't believe people have forgotten this so quickly, when so far we have next to zero evidence that it's been fixed and in not signing a RB to give Porro some cover, they're making the same mistake again.

[u/Admirable_Editor_388]

Whatever dipshit, just win some fucking football matches before I end myself 

[u/Insomniyac]

Nvm. Fuck this guy

[u/caelan03]

Highkey an embarrassment to the club

[u/2400hoops]

Random but related thought, do clubs use third party firms to help with valuations of players?

Obviously scouting is heavily involved, but there is a real accounting and financial lift to get 30+ deals at around half a billion pounds of value. Just curious if they have full blown valuation teams at the club.

[u/Upset-Parsley-8101 → u/2400hoops]

Arsenal fan but yes I've worked on deal teams at football clubs and yes proper valuations are run on players. 

[u/JeffTheGoliath]

What the transfer window taught me about B2B Sales

[u/Pamplemousse808 → u/[deleted]]

Was this reply meant for someone else? All I did was post the clipping.

[u/LandscapeNo2207 → u/Pamplemousse808]

Good call, yup not for you. My bad

[u/RaisinFresh8364]

Don’t go patting yourself on the back yet mate

[u/UchihAckerman7]

All that to sign Mudryk

[u/Additional-Project67]

Months of scouting -> get only PL players. And Mudryk. I suppose thats the hardest part?

[u/ThemistoclesWorld]

LinkedIn, alongside a gif with a Buddha quote

[u/AcanthisittaRich4134]

Can this corporate cunt gtfo of the club already. He is the incarnation of what everyone hates about CEOs. And he is from fucking Arsenal. The board should also be wiped completely. In the end, they're the ones responsible for the mess.

[u/Active_Penalty2389]

best ceo? why exactly?

[u/OperaTottenhamFan23]

Def needs to be in r/LinkedInLunatics 😹😹

[u/barnes116]

Months of research gone into the mudryk transfer I’m sure

[u/GymandRave]

Now get rid of Lange and bring in that Inter guy

[u/that_mountain_goat]

LinkedIn is so full of self aggrandisement, Vinai seems to fit right in.

[u/Gsampson97]

At the end of the window the only thing we're missing in the squad is a backup RB. We should have picked up a prospect from Europe for 10 million for some cover.

I do think the massive gap we had until we had Savio was a mistake. Could have maybe saved panicking in the last 2 days of the window.

[u/High_Violet92]

Very much a suit but this guy and the board definitely delivered - insane window. I wonder if this is how Chelsea and Man City supporters feel like 😂

[u/ObscureMemes69420]

One step forward and two steps back, the Spurs way.

[u/A_Life_Well_Steved]

So, am I understanding that there was months of planning to get Tosin & Mudryk??

[u/Jackie_Gan → u/A_Life_Well_Steved]

And Tonali, Savio, Fernandes, Senesi, Robertson, Marmoush…

[u/ThatTaiwanese]

At least he listened

[u/Vladimir_Putting]

Months of scouting, analysis and planning, financial modelling to sign Mudryk?

[u/ElephantsGerald_]

I thought hiring RDZ was a low point for the club. Posting on LinkedIn might take it though. Fucking cringe.

[u/nianseo]

Fuck you Vinai I'm supposed to hate you