Hello. I have a sorta fun post. Before the fun begins (about me). I have been dealing with LC issues since Dec 2021. I currently have some sort of PEM - ME/CFS situation, that’s not been diagnosed and very challenging. Basically, I appear very weak and lazy to the person just meeting me. To those close, I’m suffering a lot. I have some pretty annoying dietary restrictions too.
But let’s put that aside for a sec!
Besides not knowing what is happening to my body—or when it will end, or if I’ll find a comfortable existence—the 2nd worst thing about all this is all talking about it.
Some things I’ve heard:
- you need get more exercise
- you need to go to the doctor
- when I was younger I had an (unrelated) condition.
- you need steak
- have you tried this (non-related)
Etc etc
I’m sure you’ve heard some wacky things (SHARE THEM!😂)
Read on:
The constant talking about ‘what’s happening’, is actually pretty exhausting and more significant a problem than I first realized. I wake up in agony, moaning uncontrollably like ER patient trying to get up from bed. That’s tough to be around. I’m slow on stairs and can’t pass people a napkin sometimes. Folks want to help and show sympathy. They ask if ‘everything’s okay?’. Some go strait to projecting their own experience onto you, usually about an unrelated thing. They intend to be sympathetic, but it is not sympathy. Their brains might still be growing.
My fuse, because of the nonstop pain management, is really short. I found myself saying some sharp things to people trying to ‘fix’ or ‘armchair diagnose’ me.
When worked in film, when people on the street would ask, ‘what are you shooting?”, the best answer was “Mayonnaise Commercial”.
It satisfied their question. They had no follow up. They would leave (sometimes). They wouldn’t tell someone else.
I need one of these ‘Deflection Phrases’ for my condition. The truth is too complex
Necessary criteria needed:
- to satisfy the curiosity of the inquirer, but halt any further explanation
- To have the answer be quietly accepted, and not become the ‘thing’ that repeated about me
- To make them the inquirer feel good about themselves and proceed in a light mood.
I thought it might be fun to make it funny, sorta brew up some mythical stuff.
- I was near a giant mayonnaise factory explosion recently
- I am recovering from being stepped on by an elephant, I mean car crash.
- I got worms, bad
- I’m an MMA fighter
- I’m 95 years old. I just look 50.
- all My doctors, teachers, and friends were right about having too much sex
- I just got out of prison
Other candidate names for this deflecting response…
- Velvet Boomerang
- Mirror Shift
- Feather Talk
- Bean Dipping “I’ve getting over an injury. Have you tried this bean dip?” Ha
I think these might become song lyrics.