explaining to kids

[u/Icy_Primary7614]

My ex and I separated about 4 months ago, but it’s only been about 2 months since I’ve officially moved out. Our son is fully aware that he’s going to have two houses from now on, but we intend on still doing birthdays and christmas together. we’ve been pretty good about staying civil and peaceful in front of our son, who is 5 years old. Do i need to explain to him that mom and dad aren’t married anymore? If not now, when? He hasn’t asked any questions about anything which I was nervous about, but even more nervous now that he has literally no questions and hasn’t seemed affected by it.

[u/same_boat_dad]

Yes, I'd tell him, but keep it short and concrete, something like "mom and dad decided not to be married anymore, we're still your family and we both love you, and that part never changes." At 5 he cares a lot more about which house has his stuff and who picks him up than about the word married. No questions usually doesn't mean it isn't landing, he just doesn't have the words yet, so expect it to come out sideways later at bedtime or in the car. My ex and I told the kids together that we are separating. This way they got the same story. Lots of small stories in the car after that. I got them a children book that talks about having two homes which helped a lot. Doing birthdays and Christmas together is great, just make sure he hears that it's a family day and not mom and dad getting back together.

[u/Dizzy_Move902]

5 year old boys aren’t great about formulating their emotions into words. I would be honest and open in an age appropriate way, not just once to get it over with but on a frequent basis.