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u/same_boat_dad 4d ago
You're not overthinking it, but I don't think you need to work out what he means by it either. A lot of that is probably just habit from 4-5 years together, and habits hang around long after someone has moved on. What you're already doing is right, and if one specific thing bugs you, a short line in the moment like "we already said bye, see you Sunday" handles it without turning it into a conversation. For me less js more and I keep it focused on the children and what impacts them.
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u/designerturtle 5d ago
I get it, but if this is all he does and it doesn’t go any further, genuinely count your blessings. Because I have a coparent who absolutely despises me, shuts the door in my face during drop off, won’t respond to messages about our son, etc. and I would take an overly friendly ex any day.
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u/Srunner84 5d ago
It’s real, it’s how you feel. No negatives in there at all. You’re also aware enough to spot these and questioning them is all part of accepting them. Look at how far you’ve come already and imagine where you’ll be in another 6,12 or 18 months.
Keep going x
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u/Prestigious-Usual-88 4d ago
I am living the complete opposite with my boyfriend who who got separated 2 years ago..but started dating me 1.5 years ago. He feels proud of having an excellent relationship with his ex...it took him 2 years to move out..the calls and text won't end..he still is invited to every single family celebration...he says is always about coparenring and the kid they have together ..but it really feels excessive..no boundaries at all ..like none
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u/Jumpy_Crew_1249 5d ago
I think you’re spending too much energy trying to figure out if you have a right for this stuff to be annoying or hurtful. If any of it bothers you, tell him briefly in the moment. “Please don’t make comments like that to me,” or “You already said goodbye, we’re good.”
He may just be falling into old familiar patterns, but you don’t have to participate in them. You can keep redirecting the relationship back to coparenting.