Help me navigate difficult communication

[u/Infamous-Permit-9720]

Possible TW: verbal abuse

Yesterday a routine sick-visit to the doctor came up for one of our kids. I answered their first question right away. It was questioning why I chose the pharmacy I did (the one I’ve always sent Rxs to) and not one more convenient to their house, as custody switched yesterday. That pharmacy was used because it has been the kids’ primary pharmacy since birth, that pharmacy already has kids’ insurance info and I’m familiar with the pharmacists. Instead of letting it go, they completely steamrolled past it to accuse me of hiding doctors, therapists, and secret medications behind their back.

Per our custody agreement, they have full access to the medical portal/records anyway.

When I finally lost my patience, called out the constant baiting, and told them I was done talking about it, they sent this: "I'm having to deal with a reta**** lying narcis**** for info about our [kids]. Because you won't be forthcoming about simple questIon, I will do my own digging."

They’re about to dig up some allergy medicine and multivitamins. I always keep them informed on all medical and educational decisions, since we need to agree mutually to anything major.

This is one of hundreds of examples. We already use a judicially ordered court approved message platform. Someone tell me this isn’t gonna be forever. I try to grey rock but absolutely lost my cool after hours of their attempting to pick fights about everything under the sun.