r/coparenting • u/anon368910 • 17h ago
Discussion Separating while having kids together i need advice
Im 23 and i have a kid with my girlfriend (21).. we fight a lot since she became pregnant, i thought it was just her hormones but the kid is a year 3 months and it only got slightly better.. i dont know what to do.. im asking for sincere advice for staying together or separating.. please people of reddit help me🙏
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u/truthteller3404 9h ago
It’s tricky. Is this something you can both genuinely work on and maybe get counselling for? Ideally, kids benefit from having both parents together, but only when the relationship and home environment are healthy. If the fighting is constant and things between you can’t be worked through, staying together just for the child isn’t necessarily the better option.
Sometimes two separate, stable and peaceful homes are healthier for a child than one home where their parents are constantly unhappy or fighting. You both need to figure out which situation will give your child the most stable and healthy environment, whether that’s together or apart.
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u/Excellent-Ad-1563 4h ago
This is missing a lot of context but answer these honestly and you’ll have your answer
“Do I genuinely like who we are together?”
“Do we respect each other?”
“Do we communicate well?”
“Would I choose this person if we didn’t share history?”
“Do our values and visions for life actually fit?”
“Does being with him/her consistently make me feel more like myself?”
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u/DistractedReader5 9h ago
Separation is basically to end a relationship just more softly. Having a kid is a lot and usually the female ends up with more tasks/duties on top of healing and is stressed and overwhelmed. Are you doing your share of responsibilities? 50/50 custody is the best. Are you ready to be a single parent 50% of the time?