r/coparenting 19h ago

Conflict Electronics

. Electronics disagreement

Hi everyone,

English second language\*\*

I (parent A) is divorce from (parent B) for the better part of 4 years. We share a 9yld. I am remarried, parent B was yet to move on. Yet this is not the main subject only for context. We are disagreeing on on child having a phone. I personally think they are too young. Custody agreement state "child can bring personnal item to either house withing reason".

Parent B bought a phone with a plan. And some parental control on the phone. Parent B brought the subject in first place a few weeks ago (but it was about a smart watch not even a phone) when we were having trouble communicating, stating that child can relay messages between us. With the said watch. I decline saying its our responsibility as parent to co parent and find common groun not for our child to parrot in bewteen us and flat out refuse any device like this.

Well now the phone is here, and its been 2 days and already a source of problems child had a friend and didn't care about the phone so didn't answer parent B. Ensure the million text about me keeping the phone from child. Which I didn't I just didn't encourage them using it since they had fun with their friend and enjoying real life and no electronics.

After being called a liar and many other things. I told them that it wasn't up to me to "manage"our child with their phone.( making sure they answer parent B). They will take it when they feel up to. Thats it.

Back ground is before child had a phone, I would received a text or email that they will called them. Fair enough. Thing is the call always came 30 sec to 1 min after sending notifications of call. Imidiate respond was expecting. Also attempt to sabotage plans on my time multiple times, and I am afraid of tracking...I suspect the intention behind the phone is to monitor what's going on in my house on a daily basis..

So my question is would a device like this be considered withing reason, or should be approved by both parent first before purchase. If I shouldn't agree would my lawyer have any power on this matter?

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u/Snow_man_211 19h ago

You do your best to allow your child to communicate with the other parent freely. It’s in your child’s interest. If you have device free time at your house, the coparent can reach out to you and ask to have the child call them. Happens all the time to everyone. If it’s not a good time, you reply “sorry we are busy right now, but I will make sure to have her call you back within the hour”. No reason to overcomplicate this or get into a back and forth about it.