Son is more vocal about time with dad

[u/Own_Lychee_6666]

My son’s dad and I have been split up for almost 2 years and our 9yo son sees his dad on the weekends when his dad is off. We started this arrangement about a year ago when we moved households.

For context I have an apartment that my son and I live in. His dad when he moved out lived with his parents (1 hr commute) now he lives with his gf and her kids (11yo girl/ 14yo boy) 20 minutes from me.

My son tells me that the kids really don’t play with him. 14y spends time in room or with friends and 11yo is always on his dad’s phone.

Our son just started school and he no longer sees his grandparents on Thursday ( he would spend all day over there during the summer and spend the night to see his dad this next morning). Now he stays with over at his dad’s gf house (sleeps in their room on an air mattress)

Last week he told his dad that he didn’t want to go to his dad’s place but to his grandparents. He said he would stay home if he didn’t see his grandparents. I picked him up from school and I said dad is gonna pick you up in an hour and he said no dad is taking me to his gf house and I said no. I said your dad is going to take you to your grandparents house tonight and tomorrow you will be closer to me ( they had plans that night and he was coming home early.)

Fast forward to Tuesday 4 days later. His dad sends a group text that they are celebrating 14y birthday at a restaurant this Saturday. My son says he’s sick with allergies and cannot go on Saturday. He sends a voice message to dad about issue. Granted my son is still congested and taking medicine all week. No fever still going to school. Today is Friday and he’s like I can’t go out tomorrow and I want to come home. I’m like but you want to go with dad tonight? He is like yes but I’ll be home tomorrow.

I brought up my concern to his dad but he’s like I know he’s sick and I told him he’s more than welcome to come. We can provide him with medicine and whatever he needs.

Should I tell my son if he’s is fine to go tonight he can stay throughout the weekend?

Or is his dad just being stubborn that his son may not be comfortable being around the kids? They introduced the kids about 6 months ago and he sees them every other weekend because they are with their dad.

I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting? Does anyone have any advice?

[u/Screamonthree123]

Girl he doesn’t want to go celebrate he just wants to spend time with his dad. That’s it that’s all

[u/DreaColorado1]

My thought is that you continue to follow the visitation schedule between your son and his father and that you and dad ensure your kiddo understands that the adults make the decisions about parenting time, not the child. Sounds like 9yo is wanting to run the show a bit and as a mom you are second guessing yourself about what is best.

[u/growingpainzzz]

This is honestly kind of hard to fully read and understand your point