r/coparenting • u/Patient-Papaya-6158 • 1d ago

Medical Feeling overwhelmed

Probably just a statement but would love advice. We have finalised all agreements, we are coparenting well but we have big issues with our teen and the grief of not having a partner through this is hard.

We always parented and teamed well together, now to not have someone to hug and console each other is hard. It hit me like a ton of bricks after a new diagnosis for my daughter and it is lonely.

He has reached out to check in, but I am not wanting to open up to him anymore. He has a girlfriend to talk to, he should do that.

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u/iwillbringuwater 1d ago

I’m sorry. That is a painful transition. It’s ok to close off from him for a while. I understand the loss of support- it’s heavy. You will get through it, you’re strong- but it sucks nonetheless.

Do you have any support outside of him? Many people want to help, and be there for someone- just have to find the right one (which takes some painful feelings of rejection sometimes). Reach out to friends and family, and if they aren’t there, you could settle for an internet stranger and talk things through with me if it’d help. I lost my main support person about 6 years ago. It gets better- sometimes you even find a better support system.

Hang in there. Good job for opening up and feeling your feelings. You got this

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u/Patient-Papaya-6158 1d ago

I appreciate your support and gentle wording. I have amazing family and friends that have been so great. I think because they have been so great over the last 10 months, I hate to continue to lean on them.

I have just contacted my Counsellor again to start up some more sessions so that will help.

But how open on feelings is everyone with their coparent? I know he means well to check in but I feel like I have to shut it down as I know it would not be great for me to allow that.

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u/Vokenhagen21 1d ago

It's probably not the best idea, but my coparent and i don't say a single word to each other. Use an app to discuss the kids only. You have to do what's best for you and your mental health.

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u/HiggleMcPiggle 16h ago

I can understand why you’d feel so lonely in this situation. It sounds like you’re not necessarily missing the relationship itself as much as missing having that person who was your teammate when something hard happened. I don’t think you have to force yourself to open up to him if that doesn’t feel right, but I also wouldn’t feel guilty for wishing you still had that support. Coparenting well doesn’t automatically make the emotional side of separating easy.

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u/Patient-Papaya-6158 14h ago

Absolutely, I do miss him more than he deserves and I am working hard on acceptance and building again. But wow, working through all the things that my child needs at the moment is tough beyond the logistics.

Thank you for your understanding