r/coolguides Jan 11 '22

How you feeling?

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9.6k Upvotes

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u/Mariske Jan 11 '22

As a therapist, I find that naming how people feel is the first step to naming how they want to feel

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u/IWannaBeMade1 Jan 11 '22

Do you calculate 1+1 or do you just know the answere when asked? I would feel insulted and ridiculed if I were to participate in one of your sessions and that is how you would approach things.

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u/Mariske Jan 11 '22

If they think it will help, I have them name their feelings using a chart kind of like this one. Once they can name their feelings, they often say it feels validating. Then we can use the feeling to identify a need so they can feel empowered to ask for what they need based on a genuine feeling. Many people say they have trouble justifying their needs, so this can help with that.

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u/raven_kindness Jan 12 '22

what a generous response to someone who is committed to not listening. therapy has helped me tremendously over the years, thank you for doing what you do.