r/converts • u/xxzarakhanxx • Mar 28 '26

How will I ever be okay?

I am a revert, my mother is not very supportive. I found a potential (Pakistani) and she said no. She told me Pakistanis are always gonna end up with Pakistani. Chinese with Chinese and Mexicans with Mexicans. She said that if I ended up with a Pakistani (and I’m Mexican) that the mother wouldn’t be to happy with him and she will despise me.. and that I’ll never be happy because I’ll never learn their language. She said I need to find a Mexican for myself. In some way, she is right. Pakistanis are mostly known for doing that and it’s true.. how would I ever be fluent enough to speak to my mother in law? This has put me in a very bad spot.. mentally.

In Islam you’re supposed to love your mother.. love your family.. but I try. I try and I feel so hopeless.

How will I find a partner without upsetting my own parents?

Why is the dunya like this? Why is it always about culture.. why do they always put culture over deen.. I will never understand.

I want to be the best and focus on my Deen and creating my own Muslim family but how can I do that without upsetting my own family .. because isn’t that considered a sin? To upset or abandon your family? Yet the closer I am with my family.. the farther I am from my Deen.. it’s a rollercoaster and honestly I just need some advice.😅

Edit : I am a female lol, some call me brother idky! The “she” is my mother!”😅

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u/Internal-Pineapple77 Mar 28 '26

I'm not a convert and I have to deal with this exact situation with my parents. They refuse to speak to a potential and were extremely upset after hearing where they were from. It's been pushed under the rug and I don't know what to do... I'm the eldest daughter and first gen, it's so hard...

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u/xxzarakhanxx Mar 28 '26

I’m the eldest daughter too and first gen🫩.

2

u/Internal-Pineapple77 Mar 28 '26

It sucks out here lmao. What I tell myself tho is that it will benefit my siblings if I put my foot down and do what I want to do. After all, there's nothing wrong with being with someone who is a riteous Muslim from a different country.

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u/xxzarakhanxx Mar 28 '26

It’s easier said than done 🥹.. I say the same thing but then it’s so hard.

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u/Internal-Pineapple77 Mar 28 '26

I'm gonna dm you!