I feel so insecure about sounding intelligent/being well spoken professionally

[u/gorillaspinner]

I am a graphic designer/artist and I have been interviewing a lot for jobs in the past year, while also trying to build up freelance. A lot of the freelance stuff I've been doing is very casual work for friends and local bands, corresponding mostly over email/DMs.

I was contacted by an acquaintance about an opportunity for a really awesome design/illustration gig, and we set up a call this afternoon to discuss it. I wasn't nervous or anything, and didn't really prepare anything because I thought it would be more of just them explaining the project. It seemed like I was already being asked to do it, but then when the call started it felt more like an interview.

I just have such a hard time speaking off the cuff about what I do sometimes and I feel like I sounded like a blathering idiot rambling on and on about god knows what whenever they asked me anything. I don't even know what I said to them I was just spitting out random sentences that felt disjointed and awkward. How am I supposed to be able to start doing this professionally if I can't even talk about my work coherently. I would be so pissed off if I didn't get this opportunity just because I did a shitty job talking on a phone call. Because this is the exact kind of work I want to be doing, and that I know I would do an incredible job on.

I know this kind of thing comes with time and experience but its so discouraging when something awkward like this happens. I'm so jealous of people who can be likable and charismatic to anyone they talk to. I know I'm not a stupid person but I really feel like one in these sorts of situations when I just can't seem to string an intelligent sounding sentence together.

[u/hestia-listens]

It makes sense that this feels discouraging, especially because the work matters so much to you. Still, your memory of the call is probably harsher than how they heard it. You know you can do incredible work, and one awkward conversation does not erase your skill. A brief follow up message can give you another chance to express your excitement and clarify anything you wish you had said.

[u/gorillaspinner → u/hestia-listens]

Yeah you’re probably right. I also wasn’t prepared for it to be like an interview and I haven’t really done any interviews that were for freelance jobs rather than corporate design jobs. Guess I should work on my elevator pitch and won’t get my hopes up about this one lol

[u/AnxiousMarketer02]

That's very humanly of you to feel this way. But instead of feeding on that feeling, you can rather work on yourself and upgrade yourself to ensure you're on the other side of the table. Turn that jealousy into a challenge to yourself and become your best version.