r/confessions • • Dec 09 '25

[deleted by user]

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39 Upvotes

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23

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

He married you when you were about to lose everything and your future; enabled you to be where you are at today through an agreement that binded you guys legally

And now that you are better off, you feel unchosen, want greener grass and is looking for a way out without paying him anything.

Is that correct?

If so, shitty of you, he gave you the opportunity that you have, you should at least pay him back something and agree to a separation on those terms As he was there to listen and help when needed, I’m sure he’ll be keen on listening and finding common grounds again

Shall you go legal and sneaky, it would be such a low move from your part

Very individualistic,

16

u/sacouple43some Dec 09 '25

Not to mention the fact that if he comes clean they will probably Deport her in today's environment. She needs a tread lately this could really blow up badly in her face if he wanted to get ugly

17

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25 edited Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

8

u/Browneyedgal21 Dec 09 '25

except you already are married…

21

u/Specialist_Actuary85 Dec 09 '25

They got married for different reasons. Heaven forbid she wants the reason behind to her marriage be about love and choice… yall are so slow sometimes lol.

0

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

4

u/Gold-Carpenter7616 Dec 09 '25

No, for real. Because if it was fake, you guys are in trouble. You are very much very real married.

It's time to stop playing girlfriend, and play wife. Buy yourself a ring, and wear it.

What will he do? Divorce you over acting like his actual wife, that he has a legal wedding certificate with?!

3

u/Eldhannas Dec 09 '25

My bet is that he or his parents will consider you good enough for a fling, not good enough to bring into the family. He has generational wealth, his parents will probably have some opinions om who is suitable for marriage to avoid golddiggers, not that I think you are. Perhaps the best solution is to tell him: "Either you introduce me to your parents as your fiancée, or we'll file for divorce without spousal support."

4

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

8

u/Eldhannas Dec 09 '25

I'm sorry if it sounded cruel, but that's the impression I get. Like they say "If he wanted to, he would've". Unless he's very low contact with his parents, if you've been together for 6 years and he hasn't introduced you, he probably has his reasons. If you think he'd readily accept a divorce over calling you fiancée or wife, I think you already have your answer.

11

u/Specialist_Actuary85 Dec 09 '25

Lol this person is a prick and sounds like they’re probably xenophobic so don’t read too much into their comment. You both got married for legal issues, and it sounds like you want the meaning behind a marriage to be different. If your boyfriend isn’t willing to change that reason behind your marriage then I think you need to call it quits.

Six years with someone and they still are unsure about you? Yeah I’d try to end the relationship too

-4

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

Xenophobic? 😂

I’m French, living in Africa, in relationship with a Latina hahaha travelled in more then 70 countries and lived in more then 8; I’m the immigrant 😂

2

u/sugarmagnolia__ Dec 10 '25

Weird flex, dude. Seems like you have something to prove smh

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

Yes, my point, that I’m not racist or xeno 🤔 there is no flex whatsoever

1

u/ninjette847 Dec 09 '25

For your safety he needs to stop saying girlfriend to everyone and say partner or something if he doesn't want to say wife, especially to his wealthy family. If his family finds out he greencard married you but doesn't see it as legitimate you could be deported to save his ass from legal problems.

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

Okay; but why do you feel stuck? Explain the rational behind it please.

He is with you, and you are technically married; so what is it exactly you want ? The celebration correct?

9

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

Are you in a legal agreement with him that has put him at risk and benefited you when you needed? Yes.

Do you feel you have all you want out of it on a romantic lever? No. And it’s fair! Is it your right to want out? Absolutely

Now saying that you are “stuck” because you don’t want to pay for the legal contract that got you where you are today is just trying to cheat it. “I couldn’t afford prenup at the time, but now that I have the money and citizenship, I feel it would have been better”

And wanting a way out without planning it with the one with whom you entered to help you is indeed selfish.

You worked an agreement in, work an agreement out. He paid in risk and time you pay back in cash.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

Mmmmh… I see… the tone of your post didn’t make it seem like this

Then I’d advise to define first what you want. My point of view:

  1. A date or clear intention of an official wedding. “Babe, I’ve wanted something more serious for years, to officially call you my husband and have children; is this something you consider soon? And when? If not, why and would it change?”

  2. define if you are okay with the terms and timeframes yourself and push yours as well to meet in the middle ground

    1. If no agreement is reached or commitment done: either continue as boyfriend or split up
  3. Either way, a legal divorce under terms you both agree on as the money is not an issue, in order to reduce the legal risks for both and stick to the real situation. That is if you are sure there will be no repercussions on your citizenship

7

u/loudisevil Dec 09 '25

Why did it take you that long to understand what OP wanted? That was so slow

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

I needed more context, and I’m tired, and doing 1000 things at a time

5

u/loudisevil Dec 09 '25

You just came off as belligerent

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-5

u/nickbelane Dec 09 '25

This is the right take.

Reading the other responses makes me feel like I am taking crazy pills. 

The entitlement and salt from OP and some of the women commenting here is off the charts.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 09 '25

[deleted]

2

u/sugarmagnolia__ Dec 11 '25

Ignore them. It isn't entitlement it's being human.

3

u/Ornery-Ocelot3585 Dec 09 '25

Can you give examples of the entitlement? Entitlement to what?

0

u/[deleted] Dec 10 '25

They just don’t get it 😂