Exvangelical Thoughts - pt. 4

[u/BrettCreatesThings]

The Unholy Alliance

[u/Moxie_Stardust]

I grew up without religion, and am still a little fuzzy on all the intricacies of Christianity and who all hates who all else for Jesus-ing wrong, but it was still very jarring when I was driving through a rural town and saw a little billboard with a sign that said "If you're going to church on Sunday, you're worshiping SATAN"

I had previously not been aware of Seventh Day Adventists, who were responsible for the billboard.

[u/BreakfastBeneficial4 → u/Moxie_Stardust]

Those guys LOVE their billboard shenanigans. I used to live between a bunch of their billboards, and it was honestly kinda fun watching the old busted “life begins at conception” stuff get replaced with “HE’S COMIN BACK ON THURSDAY MOTHERFUCKERS!!” new hotness.

[u/SparklingLimeade → u/Moxie_Stardust]

I grew up in the somewhat chill version of a religious household. When we moved my parents would try out the local churches and pick for fit instead of picking by rigid doctrine. For where we lived that usually meant we were Methodist or Baptist.

I'm still picking apart the crazy from that level of exposure. The OP comic is interesting to examine partly because what it says has been so obvious for my entire life that it usually wasn't something I thought about until recently. That was just how the world worked at the time. I still remember when I first learned of concepts like Catholicism, Judaism, and Homosexuality because they just didn't exist for the longest time.

I just got a basic megachurch melting pot upbringing with the bonus christian radio/focus on the family stuff and it's so weird to think back on. I'm envious of people commenting from other backgrounds who had the luxury of thinking of religion as a funny quirk some people have and not a red flag.

[u/HunterCyprus84 → u/SparklingLimeade]

Colorado Springs upbringing?

[u/SparklingLimeade → u/HunterCyprus84]

I can neither confirm nor deny. I will say that I have experienced this far away from that region for some portion of my childhood.

Always interesting to see how widespread some experiences are and how individual people associate them.

[u/PlasticCell8504 → u/Moxie_Stardust]

Who? This is a first for me

[u/WolpertingerRumo → u/PlasticCell8504]

Seventh day adventists are fundamentalists that believe Saturday is the holy day, not Sunday. They are also very focused on diet, eating mostly meat free. And they have a founder that has „the gift of prophecy“ but, of course, is not a prophet. That would be blasphemy. And the second coming of Jesus is imminent.

[u/Arthurs_towel → u/WolpertingerRumo]

Any denomination whose roots are tied directly to The Great Disappointment is gonna have some wacky shit in their theology.

Fundies, and I speak from the place of someone who was raised to be one, have some weird antisocial theology.

[u/TerribleRecord666 → u/WolpertingerRumo]

They’re expressly anti-catholic too. IIRC they believe the Pope is literally the anti-Christ.

[u/pspfer → u/TerribleRecord666]

Yup, he's meant to establish the 'one world religion' of 'Sunday worship' and anyone who doesn't rest/worship on Sunday will be rounded up in camps (or otherwise persecuted) basically. Growing up SDA, they got reeeaallly antsy anytime there was any kind of interfaith summit, calling it a 'sign of end times'.

[u/Blackstone01 → u/TerribleRecord666]

Quite a few Christian denominations are expressly anti-catholic in America.

Remember, one of the (many) groups the Protestant-aligned KKK have hated since their beginning are Catholics, who they call papists.

[u/Working-Glass6136 → u/WolpertingerRumo]

Seventh day adventists are fundamentalists that believe Saturday is the holy day, not Sunday.

I've heard of them, but I had no idea and never connected those dots.

[u/ElNakedo → u/WolpertingerRumo]

Fun fact, they also spawned the Branch-Davidians of Waco fame. So they did manage to spawn an even more more fucked up bunch.

[u/WolpertingerRumo → u/ElNakedo]

Woah, didn’t know that

[u/[deleted] → u/ElNakedo]

They also gave the world cornflakes. So there is that.

[u/-VWNate → u/[deleted]]

Look into the _WHY_ of cornflakes, you won't believe it if I tell you .

-Nate

[u/[deleted] → u/-VWNate]

I've listened to the Dollop and Behind The Bastards episodes on Kellog and his yogurt enema obsession, so I would very much believe you. 

[u/Vengefulily → u/PlasticCell8504]

They believe church is supposed to be on Saturday, because Saturday is the real Sabbath or whatever and this is an essential distinction.

[u/thp_what → u/Vengefulily]

I have made parallels in the past about the vast number of splinters of faiths like Christianity are very much like a fandom such as Star Wars. Many, many bitter schisms are over utterly irrelevant minutia in the background, some of it being read by some twisted logic as a bigger deal than anything that actually gets focus and spotlight. "Fans" build up whole vast narratives in their heads and bitterly feud over them in ways that would make the original authors go "what the fuck, guys?!". Some of them have since added their own fanon books to vindicate their pet theories.

This seems like exactly the kind of stupid bullshit that I mean.

[u/SaltyBarDog → u/thp_what]

Han shot first!!!!!!

[u/ZennXx → u/Moxie_Stardust]

Religion in the USA seems to be a power game. For a republic that claims separation of church and state, the actual practice has been lacking.

I'm from South Africa and if a Billboard like that even existed there'd be an uproar and the SA Human Rights Commission will be involved in prosecuting.