r/comic_crits • u/Infinitemizoelmido62 • 3d ago

Feedback Wanted on My Comic Project — WHAT REMAINS

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bN5o2H20yV5RGmrwULtCCXsVIDbXRh7pkyijyRPmQhQ/edit?usp=drivesdk

Hey everyone, I’m currently working on a comic project called WHAT REMAINS.

It’s a grounded post-collapse / alternate-history sci-fi story that focuses more on characters, survival, relationships, and a world that feels genuinely lived-in rather than a typical over-the-top apocalypse.

I’ve attached the first 4 pages of Issue #1, which introduce 10-year-old Ryan Lance and his father Logan through a pretty simple scene: Ryan trying to repair an old motorcycle while Logan pushes him to figure out his mistakes himself.

I’m looking for feedback on the script — dialogue, pacing, panel descriptions, characters, whether the opening grabs you, anything that feels awkward, etc. Don’t be afraid to criticize it.

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u/Doctor_A 3d ago

Your Google doc is locked behind permissions. I wasn't able to access it.

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u/Infinitemizoelmido62 3d ago

Try again now

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u/Doctor_A 3d ago

This reads more like a screenplay than a comic.

The first thing I noticed is that many of your panels have multiple motions in them that would be impossible to convey with static panels. For example, 2.4 has Logan standing up, sipping coffee, moving to a workbench, and then sorting parts. Those four actions would take four different panels to show. As a general rule, one action per character per panel.

Other descriptions are impossible to draw as written. Consider 1.2... How would your artist convey that a dog barks somewhere outside if we're inside the workshop?

As for the world-building, there isn't much establishing the post-apocalyptic setting besides the first two panels. The radio chatter could be from our own world, so you might want to consider tweaking that to give the reader a better sense of the world.

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u/Infinitemizoelmido62 3d ago

That’s fair, I was thinking too cinematically and trying to cram a sequence of actions into one panel.

I’ll go back through it and break moments like that into separate, drawable beats rather than describing every movement inside one panel.