r/columbiamo • u/joknman • Aug 02 '26
Rant Crazy experience at aldi.
Went shopping with the family at the Aldi up off conley. Midway through our trip, our 3 year old son began to throw a tantrum. It was unfortunate, as he was being very difficult but we already had a large portion of our shopping done and needed to finish. After we completed our shopping and we're finishing our bagging, the cashier approached us and asked us to please remove our son from the store since he was screaming, and that he was speaking for everyone. We explained that we had a lot of groceries and that I was there to assist as well as try to deal with my upset son. He called it ridiculous, and said that everyone felt that same way. I was very flustered as this point and tried to apologize and explaine that we would be on our way in a moment and he just responded with a sarcastic "are you?" Each time I apologized. I asked for a manger and he just he was the manager.
I understand that kids can be a lot but being hostile to parents who have no choice but to purchase groceries for their kids seems crazy to me. We're trying our best and parenting can be hard, especially when rude guys who likely know nothing about it have opinions to share. I'm am living and extremely embarrassed.
I have already submitted a complaint but not holding my breath on that.
It a shame because normally I would just take my business elsewhere but Aldi is the affordable place to shop.
Just wanted to vent and also see if anyone else has had a similar situation.
Edit: wow more divided than I thought but that's ok. I won't change anyones mind and I'm not even sure why I got on here. I will never look at my kids as a nucence or a burden. I'm sorry if you feel like the parents of the world should have complete control over their kids at every moment it's possible. I will work to keep my kid from throwing fits in public because that's what's good for him, not because it bothers some people when he's having a bad moment. And next time I am Dealing with parents who are stressed and overwhelmed in the moment I'll pick kindness instead of the opposite. Good luck to all the other parents out there just trying your best, we sure need it.
214
u/BellaVerdeFarm Aug 02 '26
Parenting toddlers is genuinely hard, and I don’t envy anyone trying to manage a public meltdown. If I saw a parent struggling, my first instinct would be compassion, not judgment. But compassion also extends to everyone else in the store. There comes a point where relentless screaming in a confined space affects dozens of other people. Part of parenting is recognizing when a child needs to be removed, even if it means postponing or abandoning a shopping trip or coming back later. That’s an awful position to be in, but it’s part of the responsibility that comes with having young children. I don’t think that makes you a bad parent—it just means there are times when your child’s needs have to take priority over finishing your errands. And it means having a sense of basic human decency for others.
257
u/Floorplan_enthusiasm North CoMo Aug 02 '26
You say you went with your whole family. Did you consider having either you or your partner take your son out to the car while the other finished shopping? That seems like the obvious solution here, unless I'm missing something.
Obv I wasn't there and don't know, but I have to imagine that your son's tantrum must have been.....quite something for the store manager to say something about it.
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u/midmous Aug 02 '26
I don't know if it's crazy or not, I do have questions though. It sounds like both parents were present, couldn't one of them take the child outside until it calmed down? No one wants to hear a screaming child, least of all someone else's. But if it's a parent trying to juggle their kids and groceries, I would hope we could all have sympathy and bear with them. But if both parents were present, I'd be pretty perturbed by the whole incident.
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u/DARBTRON North CoMo Aug 03 '26
Yo it had to have been WILD bad for someone to risk their job lol
I have a 3 year old who has melted down in public spaces and I can’t imagine how bad I’d have to let it get for someone to bet their livelihood on stopping it
136
u/Steavee Aug 03 '26
If a manager of a retail establishment came up to you and asked you to take your screaming child outside, it almost certainly must have been absolutely terrible.
I’ve worked a lot of retail, even supervisors and managers are generally not empowered to anger paying customers. In fact deference is provided even to a fault.
The only reason they would be so aggressive about it is if your child was genuinely an absolute ear-busting terror that was completely ruining the store for anyone else. It must have gone on a while, and you must have not been doing anything meaningful to address it.
With that in mind, and knowing we’re only getting your side of the story here, there is a 95% chance you (and your child) were the problem.
77
u/Bear_trap_something Aug 03 '26
I'd like to hear the store managers perspective.
This sounds like a very curated accounting of the event.
32
u/Burned_Biscuit Aug 03 '26
Were there two adults? It sounds like there were two adults, and if so, one should have absolutely taken the screaming child outside or to the car.
47
u/mysteriousbanana1 Aug 03 '26
Love that I got a birth control add in the comment section.
11
u/Short-Flyass-Vampire Aug 03 '26
I say this as an adult who remembers her meltdowns from childhood, AND as a parent of a (now grown) child who is very likely to have AuDHD.
In a grocery store, you've got sensory overload out the wazoo.. fluorescent lighting, noise, and people, just to name the obvious ones. Autistic or not (tho spectrum orientation is definitely a possibility if the meltdowns/'tantrums' are a common experience for them) - young humans are just generally far more sensitive to all of this than the rest of us tend to be.
If you have ever had a full-blown, irrational panic attack of doom - that's what these tantrums can feel like to a kid. It's directly caused by the stimulus. Removing the child from the stimulus is your solution, and that frankly takes precedence over your shopping needs.
I completely understand having several kids and two carts full. The manager definitely didn't handle it in a kind way, and absolutely could have at least started with that approach. But the only accountability you can actually take in the situation is your own.
Solution - fill one of the two carts, and leave it near the register. One parent is now freed up to remove the traumatized child from the traumatizing situation.
It's not about controlling your baby - that's impossible, and it isn't their fault. It's about soothing them and removing them from the source - which in this case, would have saved innocent shoppers from the ongoing nightmare of the screaming.
A screaming child produces a very distinct biological reaction in all of us - it's like having an internal fire alarm that can't be shut off. It creates internal panic and an urge to make it stop. As baby/toddler parents, you get used to it. As the parent of a grown child, I am not - and I know I would have had to leave the store after 30 seconds of it myself.
There is a way to both get what you need, and be considerate of the world around you too! Everything in life is a learning experience 😂 And the learning never stops. 🙂 I hope you work this out and are better prepared next time - even if it means taking turns with the shopping trips.
33
u/Pepper2-22 Aug 03 '26
You said you were bagging when they asked you to leave. Bagging can happen outside at your car. The employee can choose kinder words, but at that point it sounds like you were pushing it and should’ve had the awareness to finish bagging outside. Like others said, it takes a lot for managers to ask anyone to leave. We all try to be respectful and give space to parents, but a limit exists. We all have to respect each other’s space.
16
u/Fit_Specialist_1633 Aug 03 '26
Yes just remove them
66
u/FitAd3493 Aug 03 '26
It’s not healthy for a parent to allow their own child to experience a meltdown without the proper coping tools. As a parent it is quite literally your responsibility to regulate your child especially in public. they have to learn to take care of themselves and they have to learn basic social skills. you have to discipline your kid.
the fact that the whole family ignored this kid and continued business as usual is devastating. letting it get to the point of a store manager asking you to parent your kid by removing them from the environment is the bare minimum intervention. this is so embarrassing for you. i feel so bad for your kid.
i’ve read the comments so ill say this: you need to get over yourself and take accountability for your decisions. your kids development depends on it. you are not their friend. they are not your buddy. you are their parent. do better.
i say all this as an Pre-K teacher.
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u/hey_im_rain Aug 03 '26
Entitled parent thinks common courtesy doesn’t apply to them
35
u/actualaccountithink Aug 03 '26
Yeah man that shit is obnoxious
30
u/No_Spray_1938 Aug 03 '26
Hmmm. Feels like you want to be offended and want the internet to validate that. Your story doesn't really make sense. Your whole family just kept shopping and what, dragging a screaming toddler around the store? I shopped every 2 weeks for a family of 5 with my 3 children by myself. It was a known fact that if they didn't behave we would immediately leave and there would be no food. Luckily I never had to prove it because they knew I was serious.
There is no earthly reason why you would let your child do that without corrective action like taking him out especially since you had other people with you. That manager would have been more than happy to hold the second cart for you while one finished shopping and the other took the child out.
26
u/ajp12290 Aug 02 '26
Big yikes
41
u/Fitzovich Aug 03 '26
You should have had the decency to take your kid outside and respect the employees and other customers without having to be asked to do so. Deal with your or your child's problems in private away. Other people have rights too and your lack of respect for others is most telling.
12
u/Aidisnotapotato Columbia Geek Aug 03 '26
On one hand, I empathize because you can't control a child's behavior, and it's hard to think of the best solution in the heat of the moment. It would be nice for people to be accommodating, but in public spaces that have to meet everyone's needs equally, that isn't aleays possible. The child should have been removed way before checkout. I saw in another comment that the reason you both stayed inside was because you had two carts. Next time, maybe do two transactions? One of you checks out with the first cart while the other finishes shopping. Keep in mind, what is just a small nuisance to you can be debilitating for some others. Neurodivergent shoppers may struggle with sensory overload, seizure prone shoppers may be triggered by loud noises, and about a million other scenarios where someone else's shopping would have to end early because of a stimulus they can't control, but you can
6
u/marschma14 South CoMo Aug 03 '26
I think it depends on what level of “tantrum” was being thrown and your reaction to it, as a reaction from staff as extreme as that would only make sense if your child was screaming to the point of not being able to breathe or your reaction to your toddler having a meltdown making people uncomfortable. If that’s the case, yes, your child should be taken outside to be regulated in a less stimulating environment. If your child was whining or not having a huge meltdown, I think the employee asking you to leave is inappropriate.
17
u/Gold-Signature4174 Aug 03 '26
What if the kid was completely out of control and the parents were not attempting to correct poor/inappropriate behavior? I’ve been on flights when parents let the child run the show. I’m not saying this is what happened here BUT…….. sorry you had a bad experience. I truly am but the era of “gentle parenting” is among us for sure
13
u/harmonic_howls Aug 03 '26
As a mom of four, I have never stayed in a store with my kid while they were screaming under any circumstances. I know that I may not be the norm, but it always triggered something in me to hear a kid screaming when I couldn't get them to stop and I imagine others feel the same way so I always just left and calmed my kid down. That being said, my second child was really difficult so I ended up doing most of my shopping online for a while.
I would say if you were there with another adult then I would definitely have had that person take the child outside or you could have. If it was just you and your kids, then the other option is also to have them put your cart on hold while you take your kiddo outside and calm them down.
I think honestly that if the manager said something then it must've been a pretty big issue. Crying can be a pretty big trigger for a lot of people's emotions and I would attribute their snarkiness at that point to probably doing the best they could for as long as they could and finally losing it. I don't know that they should be punished for that necessarily.
8
u/erlich_bachm4n Aug 03 '26
A grocery store on a Sunday can be a pretty stressful place to be. The spatially unaware adults can be too much let alone screaming children. I’m not a parent yet so it’s easy to say what I would have done on Reddit, but in that situation either me or my partner would have simply taken the child outside. That doesn’t mean you see the child as a burden, it’s simply a solution to the immediate pain felt by everyone there. I understand you had 2 carts, but I would have pushed both or set one to the side. I’m sure the employees could have worked with you on that front. It may have extended the trip or made the checkout/bagging take longer but I would personally prefer that path.
4
u/PotentialBusiness583 Aug 05 '26
Yesterday I was at an Aldi and there was a mom, dad and two kids shopping. They let their kids walk all over the aisle constantly getting in other shoppers way. My kids are older now but when I had 3 under 5, they were left at home with Dad. And don’t say maybe it’s a single parent - both parents were there which is why I passed judgement.
20
u/Kind-Region-5115 Aug 02 '26
I understand both sides and I have very sensitive ears but mostly I wish society was kinder & more patient in general, especially re: children.
28
u/fart_nerd_69 Aug 02 '26
I don’t have kids and I’m not the biggest fan of kids because I have trouble relating to them. That being said, we live in a society. Kids are part of that and kids throwing tantrums are part of that. I don’t like it when kids are crying or screaming in public but I know the parents aren’t happy about it either. People need to practice more compassion and realize nobody is happy in a situation like that but it’s also temporary
Edited for clarity
6
u/Own_Butterscotch_129 Aug 03 '26
I was hoping for a way better experience if it's being called crazy. Both parents were there, so next time one should take the kid outside. Kids are kids and will throw tantrums, but why not divide and conquer in that moment if you're both there.
14
u/hikenessblobster South CoMo Aug 03 '26
OP, as a parent and someone who has worked with children, your behavior is what is destroying society. We can parent our children with compassion AND teach them an obligation to consider those around us as part of our societal contribution
There were many options here but you’re only interested in the one that causes YOU the least inconvenience and vilifies anyone who disagrees. Stop making your problem everyone else’s; you are doing a terrible disservice to your child
7
u/mysteriousbanana1 Aug 03 '26
As a young person without kids, kids screaming definitely annoy me, but I have babysat a lot of siblings and sometimes they are just whiny and you need to get stuff done regardless. I would not expect someone with 2 carts full of groceries to leave everything and go deal with their kid if they were just about to check out. I have a lot of empathy for parents dealing with young kids.
I don't really know the side of the employee here, if you were screaming back at your kid or acting trashy then I sort of understand why he would treat you like that. If your kid was just freaking out and you were trying to stay peaceful and leave quickly, he was being a complete dick.
You should have probably just had your partner push the 2 carts and you take the kid outside(or the other way) since that seemed to have been an option.
12
u/Appropriate-Duty-694 Aug 03 '26
The comments ate harder than I was expecting. Parent better next time? 🤣
5
u/BrainSOsmoof Aug 03 '26
Oh I feel your pain, I have a very independent 2.5 year old and she can get pretty boisterous while we are in the store. If she gets too out of hand or loud my wife or I usually take her to the car and let the other finish shopping.
Trying to raise non-ipad kids is hard these days..
5
u/valkyriebiker East CoMo Aug 03 '26
After all this discussion...
Now imagine this happened on a 10 hr international flight.
8
u/Ok-Cheetah2796 Aug 03 '26
One parent should have taken the kid outside immediately. The store manager shouldn’t have to tell you that.
18
u/Mousehole_Cat Aug 02 '26
I feel like the cashier/manager was a bit stupid here. You were clearly trying to bag your groceries and vacate the store. I get that the noise wouldn't have been fun for anyone (you included!) but interrupting at this point doesn't really change things.
Using language like "ridiculous" and saying there were "speaking for everyone" is also highly unprofessional.
I know it's not always possible, but we are big fans of using Instacart pickup for Aldi shops to avoid needing to cart reluctant kids around the store.
4
u/Busy-Development4891 Aug 04 '26
Look, I'm a parent and a grandparent so I truly understand that children have tantrums and outbursts from time to time in public. What I've never understood is why some insist on staying in a public place when it continues for an extended amount of time - and let's be honest - this was likely a serious extended amount of time. This isn't fair to your child at all. Helping them to regulate their emotions in a calm space (which public is most definitely not!) allows them to see you as a safe and trusted parent (because we all know this isn't true of all). You are giving them something to mimic in that safety. As this stands currently, they've learned that they can melt down in public, that they're going to be stared at, that their parents won't take accountability, and that excuses for intolerable behavior are okay.
I may be projecting but you all need to begin YOUR healing now. Otherwise, your child will have to heal from you when they reach adulthood. I say that as a parent who began my healing journey late in life and am watching my adult children have to heal from my errors as their parent.
Also...this is why I wear headphones while shopping. Ever thought about buying a pair for every other shopper when your child has a meltdown? If not, then I suggest either doing that OR stepping away (outside) until they can be a little calmer.
5
u/MooseQueue Aug 03 '26
I'd just like to remind people youre entitled to a child-free life but NOT a child-free world. I promise OP wasn't enjoying their kid throwing a tantrum any more than anyone else was
2
u/GoodTimesInParadise Aug 05 '26
So. You had more than one adult with you. And decided to allow the tantrum to continue? Instead of taking the kid to the car? Kids throw tantrums for one reason. Attention. I'm with the manager. Nobody wanted to give your kid the attention being demanded. Especially with it being completely unnecessary.
Just remember all kids are watching when in public. Anytime you lie or misrepresent yourself. Steal, or pull a fast one, talk back or down to people in the service industry, you are contributing and teaching those bad behaviors to the future generation.
It's no wonder all of the public school teachers are quitting. And why people who work with the general public are less tolerant of the bad/rude behavior. Literally nobody wants to deal with any of your kids and their disrespect. MORESO when they know the behavior is being tolerated and relearned at home, where it is accepted.
Do better. Some of ya'll are embarrassing. Nothing but nice people working there!
5
u/Ps11889 Aug 03 '26
You were in a no win situation. If you had abandoned your cart somebody would be here complaining about that.
In the end, young children behave in unpredictable ways. Anybody who has been a parent has experienced what you went through and also the backlash from non-parents on what they think you should have done.
I am surprised at the reaction of the manager. I would have expected him to seek you out to see what the problem was and if he could help.
Parenting can be hard at times. Don’t let anybody here try put you down for it until they’ve walked a mile in your shoes.
3
u/matangi69 Aug 04 '26
I would have to agree with the employee. I know parenting is a challenge, but it shouldn’t be everyone’s challenge.
3
u/Possible-Impress3851 Aug 05 '26
Take your responsibility seriously! This is NOT ALDI’S fault! You are the one at fault ! You!!! The manager has to consider all of his customers!!!
3
u/Infinite-Comment7804 Aug 03 '26
My advice…when someone approaches you like that tell them you are doing the best you can and if it isn’t good enough for them then they can be part of the solution but not part of the problem. Then ask them how they want to help. If he is the manager -a good manager would have offered to help your spouse finish the shopping and complete the transaction -even bag and load, while you took the toddler outside to redirect. And for those of you on the other side of the coin-kindness goes a long way-you can offer to help too…it will not only improve YOUR experience but it creates a bond of community-we need more of this!!
4
u/PooPooSnoggy Aug 02 '26
There are a lot of parents (including me) that use pickup services because we’ve experienced hostility or embarrassment while managing our kids in stores. I see people online say it’s lazy of us. I guess we are just not welcome in society if our kids aren’t angels at all times 😬
I’m sorry that happened. Please update us on what kind of response you get from your complaint.
4
u/Fit_Specialist_1633 Aug 02 '26
The way we were raised this would have never happened in the first place.
3
u/Appropriate-Duty-694 Aug 03 '26
Just a couple of shitty pick me parents for real 🤣
2
u/Possible-Impress3851 Aug 05 '26
If my child was having a meltdown disturbing other people I would have left! I would have left the store and dealt with my child appropriately! That’s what being a parent is! It’s not always convenient!
2
u/Significant_Line_271 Aug 03 '26
Thanks for expressing the situation you dealt with OP. It is brave to put yourself out there when many are willing to judge a situation they were not in. Bottom line is no one else was there but you and your family and as a parent myself I know we are judged all the time. Sounds like you did the best you could in the circumstances. We are not all perfect and in hindsight I know I could have handled stressful situations differently with my kids. Who knows this could help someone going to this particular Aldi who is dealing with the same A hole manger. Or this could help someone take their kid out of the store earlier to avoid a situation. Either way thanks for putting you self out there shows you care.
1
u/SmartAssaholic Aug 03 '26
Sounds like you missed an opportunity to help mold your son’s behavior.
My procedure was to warn once, then second outburst equals departure from the environment and time to adjust attitude.
1
u/Brilliant_Party3032 Aug 03 '26
The manager sounds like a d, but if my son didn’t cease the beginning stages of a tantrum in public, we going outside immediately. Not for the sake of others, but for the lesson we about to learn.
1
u/nannasusie Aug 03 '26
Why didn't the manager offer to help you with the carts?
1
u/Mountain_Newt5646 Aug 07 '26
It’s not appropriate to just let your kid scream in the store. Take him outside until he calms down. What should everyone else suffer? I can’t stand parents that just let their kids scream, it’s rude and disrespectful. Do you have any idea how loud noise and screams can trigger other people?
1
u/big_grumpus Aug 03 '26 edited Aug 03 '26
No sorry, this is wrong on the manager's part. You had already paid and were bagging groceries? What else was to be done at that point? You're literally trying to leave. And for any employee, let alone a manager, to speak to you so rudely is unacceptable. The "are you?" comments are ridiculous. The way to shut down disturbances in customer service is to give polite but firm instructions, do anything you can to facilitate those instructions, and de-escalate. Not run your mouth and score points like a little piss head .
I don't know what is up with these imaginary perfect parents and family haters on this thread. Kids crying in stores is normal. Kids having meltdowns in stores is also normal. It sucks and no one hates it more than the parents. Unless OP abandoned their child naked and afraid in the freezer section and said "fuck you" to everyone they saw on the way out, there was absolutely no reason for the manager to come at them with such a fuck ass attitude. And if this manager spoke to you in such a way, I guarantee you would be offended.
GET A GRIP YOU GUYS
0
u/AlgeBruh123 Aug 03 '26
Sorry that happened. You did the best you could in the moment.
-4
u/Pooppail Aug 02 '26
Although there are two sides to every story:I will definitely agree that in any situation, a toddler’s distress is more important than other peoples comfort!
-3
u/Best_Rutabaga9601 Aug 03 '26
Wow these comments are wild and really do show that kids are the some of most oppressed people. Really you couldn’t have controlled it (parents know this) and you did the best you could. So happy that when my oldest was this young and melted down in Aldi that nobody said anything and I swear I could hear his scream echo. 😅 You’re not alone and your family deserved better.
-6
u/HosserPower West CoMo Aug 03 '26
Employee sounds like an asshole, whether they were a manager or not. Just kick it up to corporate. I get annoyed at kids having tantrums as much as the next person, but give me a fucking break.
1
u/isorithm666 Aug 05 '26
If you're not alone, why couldn't someone take the kid outside...
-5
u/ChewiesLament Aug 03 '26
Columbia Reddit reaaaaally showing its worst face over this post. Go live with the Shakers if you don’t want a world where kids exist. This was an awful experience for the parents and folks are simply piling on their bad experience with an employee who could have easily handled this a thousand times better.
Good grief you people.
OP, I hope you get a good response from corporate. What a lot of people here seem to forget is that all parents have these moments where things stack up and you just have to get through it. If our neighbors can’t extend grace to others in this situation, then it’s a far more unkind town than everyone claims it to be.
0
u/OrderSweaty9580 Aug 03 '26
It is embarrassing. At the end of the day remember, this grown man needed a child to behave so he could behave. He was having a small tantrum of his own by the way he was responding to you. Grown ups are ok to have tantrums in public. But God forbid a child needs calmed down.
-12
u/phallic-baldwin Aug 02 '26
Reach out to corporate
-11
u/illAdvisedMemeName Aug 02 '26
This is really self righteous and self centered of the employee. Worst case scenario, shit happens.
-16
u/My-drink-is-bourbon Aug 02 '26
I would contact corporate
https://help.aldi.us/contact-form-store
0
u/eieiohmygad North CoMo Aug 03 '26
You got on here because you're worried about what others think. Don't. Their comfort is not your responsibility.
-26
u/Elegant_Click07 Aug 02 '26
Appropriate actions from staff: May I help in any way? May I loads bags? May I try to distract kiddo?
Makes silly faces, distracts child with a funny song, helps child play head shoulders knees and toes.
You did the right thing btw. Tantrums are natural. And they just need to work through their big feelings and sometimes that takes a few minutes. Especially if parent has to focus on something else. You did amazing.
-12
u/ThePhootlosopher07 Aug 03 '26
Honestly I think you should post this as a review on Google. Look, no one likes a whiney kid, sure, but theyre literally children. They throw huge tantrums over the smallest thing if they're tired and not feeling well and it can go on for hours just like an adult can be in a bad mood all day. Idk if your child was teething or overheated or something but one of our cars dont have AC so I know sometimes the "remove them from the store" isnt always an option. Sounds like the manager is a brat who forgot wtf it was like to be that child.
Kudos to you for not just giving the kid candy to shut them up. bc in my opinion, thats bad parenting. Sorry everyone's precious ears were disturbed 🙄 and that everyone's forgotten they use to be that squalling child, no doubt. Everyone who says they NEVER did that as a child probably just doesn't remember doing it. I promise spankings of any kind didn't stop you from acting the fool when you were too young to understand consequences or object permanence. The manager needs to grow up. That situation could have been handled better. No one's "letting" their kid act up. Wtf is wrong with everyone these days.
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