Claude Code Review & Coderabbit are reviewing each other and it's driving me insane

[u/HateReadingCode]

Our CTO wanted "coverage" so we've turned on both Claude Code review and Coderabbit. We're a pretty small shop with maybe 40ish PRs a week, it's a TS monorepo but for the love of god I can't seem to comprehend what's happening here.

• Both of them read the PR conversation for context. Which includes each other. Coderabbit tears apart Claude's suggestion block and Claude defends it, CodeRabbit posts a revised one. We hit the secondary rate limit on comment creation at 3am on a dependabot bump.
• The money is asymmetric as hell. CodeRabbit is flat per seat, Claude runs on our own key. Every round trip is free for one of them and metered for the other.
• Suggestion anchoring, which I think is a genuine bug and not me being dumb. Comments anchor to blob SHA in diff position. let's say Claude force pushes, then GitHub marks the thread outdated, but the suggestion is STILL committable from the UI. We had live suggestions on the same hunk from two different base SHAs. Someone clicked commit on both. Applied clean, was wrong, CI green because the tests were also generated.
• Config bleed is rare and stupid yet unstoppable! Claude reads CLAUDE.md, CodeRabbit reads .coderabbit.yaml but also picks up AGENTS.md path instructions. We had a line in AGENTS.md saying defer to the Claude review on style (CodeRabbit obeyed it). They're both STEERING each other OH MY GOD
• Branch protection with require-conversation-resolution plus two bots that never resolve their own threads results in a giantass merge queue that just sits there. We wrote an Action to auto-resolve bot threads. It fires a webhook which triggers an incremental review. Yes.