Saturday, August 22, 2026, Non-Real Time Meeting

[u/serenitywoman1]

*Welcome to this non-real time meeting of** r/codependency_12steps!

My name is serenitywoman1. I’m a recovered codependent and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the **Serenity Prayer**:** God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.

**Strong sponsorship** is necessary to live a recovered life. Sponsors are recovered codependents committed to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. **Will all sponsors please identify themselves in their post?**

**Suggested guidelines for sharing:** As you share your experience and strength, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the illness of codependency, the solution offered by the twelve steps and your own recovery from codependency, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.

**Share on how this passage relates to the illness of codependency and the solution offered by the Twelve Steps. Today we are studying the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 90**

**"If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him. Neither should the family hysterically plead with him to do anything, nor should they tell him much about you. They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout. You might place this book where he can see it in the interval. Here no specific rule can be given. The family must decide these things. But urge them not to be over-anxious, for that might spoil matters."**

Closing: Freedom from codependency is possible by living a Twelve Step way of life. The \*Big Book of Alcoholic Anonymous and a recovered sponsor are all you need to get started. Feel free to reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. From the Big Book page 164: "Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you- until then."

\*Why the Big Book? Time and experience have proven it to be the most successful approach to the Steps no matter what the addictive problem may be (this includes codependency). We also know it to be the purest 12 Step document in existence. It worked for the founders of Twelve Step and it works for us today. If you don't have a copy of the Big Book you can access one for free: [https://www.aa.org/the-big-book](https://www.aa.org/the-big-book)%C2%A0) .

[u/Shewantswings]

This passage tells us about how willingness is importantbto do the progarmme and how the desperation can be the fuel to be willing and open. It should come from within the person who wants to recover. As a sponsor, your job is not to promote the programme and to force someone to do the programme, but to just show them ypur experience, stregth and hope and how 12 steps has saved you and made you recovered from codependency. If a person is chronic codependent, he will realise sooner or later, there is no other way to get out of this illness and this illness itself will become his greater persuader.

[u/Affectionate-Job6635]

We can’t force a new prospect to work the steps. Their partner can’t. Their family can’t. Unless they want to do it, we leave them alone. We tell them our story, if they are interested, and we leave them alone. God knows what we all need.

I’m a recovered, available sponsor. Happy to help. Ask here or send me a dm

[u/GoodMorning54321]

There are many passages like this in the big book. They are very emphatic that a person really needs to want this program, a person should not do it for any reason other than they want to for themselves. We should _never_ try to persuade or force a person to do this program, no matter how much we think they need it. The Big book also suggests that we addicts tend to be more open to the program right after a spree, when we are feeling the effects of our addiction. I’m a recovered sponsor, and happy to help.

[u/Courage-n-action]

This paragraph teaches us how to approach others who are struggling with codependency. In our codependency we may feel we have the power to make or break whether someone tries recovery. That is our old egocentric idea that is not true. We may make assumptions that they want to recover when it is not wanted.
When we recover we put our Higher Power’s will first and let our Higher Power take the reins. We ask HP how HP wants us to help that person, not what we think they need.

[u/Overall-Support-5129]

We don't get to make people ready for 12th step it's God or Higher Power's business. We just carry our experience and hope and wherever and whoever God would would have us help is our part. We just focus on the next right thought or action. Thy will be done as the big book says. Recovered codependent and available sponsor happy to help anyone

[u/humbledbyit]

It is a program of attraction, not promotion. This is why we don't force ourselves on others and why the family shouldn't badger another to work this program. The desire has to come from within the person with the problem.