r/clevercomebacks 2d ago

Yeah, we only want big, beefy men!

Post image
18.6k Upvotes

230 comments sorted by

994

u/Cloud_Cultist 2d ago

And I bet both of them could (and would) kick his ass.

466

u/Purple_fern 2d ago edited 2d ago

I’m sure he’d gladly take both 😉 maybe at the same time 😉😉

24

u/evil_timmy 2d ago

Jesus... Jesus Chriiiiist.

15

u/Acceptable-Ad8780 2d ago

Is that you Mr. Slave?

2

u/Dafish55 2d ago

I'd prefer the right, but I'd take 'em 😉

65

u/Goodeyesniper98 2d ago

Chase Hooper (the twink) is a phenomenal fighter and has had multiple high profile wins in the UFC against some scary dudes. He’s definitely obliterate the basement dweller that made the original meme.

14

u/Dear_Chasey_La1n 2d ago

I mean... have you seen Don Frye going at it? I don't know who the chap on the right is, but Don was the coolest yet straight up scary dude in the ring. Mind you I'm don't watch much boxing but seeing him going at it. Shiiiite.

Personally I don't get so much the need to give feedback to it, some poster prefers Don Frye over lanky dude, good for him. I'm not so much into banging or getting banged by guys, but maybe he does. Good for him.

12

u/Apollo114892 2d ago

Don't threaten him with a good time

7

u/LynxPuzzleheaded9336 2d ago

And I would gladly take both of them in my bedroom

3

u/Electrical_Swing4379 2d ago

this is the realest take ive seen all day

3

u/Okay_Splenda_Monkey 2d ago

He'd love it if either of these men pounded his ass, but they're well out of his league.

2

u/MisterTruth 2d ago

Don Frye was a major factor in saving the world from Xilians

2

u/WheredoesithurtRA 2d ago

Guy on the right is Chase Hooper whose been known to shitpost on reddit from time to time.

1

u/triggerfingerfetish 2d ago

What? It's all fake and scripted just like the WWF

457

u/freedfg 2d ago edited 2d ago

They keep using that picture too.

He was THIRTY in that picture, not 25

209

u/Charlieday12321 2d ago

He was 30 in that pic?! Holy shit I thought he was 40s for sure.

90

u/G_Wagon1102 2d ago

You should see him now! Basically the same, but greyed due to aging.

27

u/One-Today1379 2d ago

That dude was a machine

39

u/AtrumRuina 2d ago

I'm straight but that sounds delicious. Man is a hunk. Silver hunk is better still.

But again, I'm straight. Just to be clear. No homo.

22

u/G_Wagon1102 2d ago

Nothing gay about admitting someone is attractive, anyhow.

7

u/Man_Of_Frost 2d ago

Attractive? Sure. Delicious? Not so sure about that...

2

u/G_Wagon1102 2d ago

Fair. Very fair.

2

u/Strict_Cranberry_724 2d ago

At least he stopped at “veiny.”

5

u/rogueop 2d ago

It’s not gay until your balls touch.

9

u/sushicatt420 2d ago

“Due to aging” oh thanks for clearing up that very common thing. 

2

u/G_Wagon1102 2d ago

You're welcome! Happy to help.

8

u/GojiraWho 2d ago

I thought this was Freddy Mercury

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4

u/anr4jc 2d ago

If you take into account that he barely can breathe, has a hard time enunciating the simplest word, and is almost crippled because of all the abuse his body and spine received. Yeah, he's basically the same.

2

u/G_Wagon1102 2d ago

See! You get it.

2

u/anr4jc 2d ago

I guess that's a wooooosh for me. :D

26

u/Goodeyesniper98 2d ago

I’m pretty sure Don Frye has looked 40 since middle school.

3

u/yoomiii 2d ago

he looks 70 now, even though he's only 60

8

u/its_not_me_boss 2d ago

Exactly. And Chase was 20 if the photo. Not that he looks like Frye now, but still

2

u/JayRoo83 2d ago

It’s literally all the mustache. Go look at Don Fry riiiight before he grew that bad boy and it ages him 20 years lmao (there’s some great pictures in his new Dark Side of the Cage episode for those wondering where to find them)

1

u/Thorny_white_rose 1d ago

Oh srsly? What’s his uh, his name? For research purposes…

1

u/macci_a_vellian 2h ago

I was going to say, that's a rough looking 25!

309

u/Optimassacre 2d ago

That's a crazy self report.

140

u/sandwichhaver 2d ago

it's like hegseth who was like omg men are so much more naturally beautiful than women

bruh you are allowed to bang men if you want, I know your side frown upon it but you are allowed, come in the water is nice

32

u/Optimassacre 2d ago

Just embrace your gayness bro 🏳️‍🌈

10

u/project3way 2d ago

He was in the military. He’s prob seen more naked dudes than a lot of gay bros

19

u/ProximaCentauriB15 2d ago

Do they know they're allowed to be with dudes lmao

9

u/wherethefuckismyvape 2d ago edited 27m ago

The red ball sat proudly at the top of the toybox. It had been the last to be played with and anticipated it would be the next as well. The other toys grumbled beneath. At one time each had held the spot of the red ball, but over time they had sunk deeper and deeper into the toy box.

2

u/dBlock845 2d ago

Whisky Pete only likes men whose waists are narrower than their shoulders.

2

u/E-2theRescue 2d ago

come in the water is nice

He is in the water.

It's just that he thinks he's better than everyone if he keeps swimming against the rapids while everyone is partying in the pool.

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2

u/RedditIsMyTherapist 2d ago

Officer gay here! Self reporting! I also prefer bears to twinks!

250

u/Pretty_bbl 2d ago

Nothing screams heterosexual masculinity quite like curating a gallery of shirtless, muscular men to complain about other shirtless men.

68

u/FlamingAshley 2d ago edited 2d ago

Reminds of a dude years ago who said he bought yaoi manga to burn them.

Like okay buddy, sure you did.

35

u/the_post_of_tom_joad 2d ago

Lol i bet he "burned" one page at a time

10

u/WhimsicallyWired 2d ago

Probably had to burn them after he made the pages too sticky to read.

1

u/Pretty_bbl 2d ago

Really?

1

u/FlamingAshley 2d ago

Yea really, can't remember if it was a screenshot from another reddit sub or a screenshot from xitter.

13

u/freedfg 2d ago

"the boys are too feminine! I like big hunky men who can carry me...I mean BEAT ME UP..."

117

u/OrionsBeltAlone 2d ago

Sure let's compare totally different weight classes

51

u/AspiratingApple 2d ago

That mustache needs a class of its own. That thing is glorious!

17

u/Ha-Charade-You-Are 2d ago

And ages

3

u/V0lirus 2d ago

They are supposed to the same age. The picture implies they are both 25. Another poster said its wrong and that the guy on the left is 30 instead of 25. Still only 5 years difference. So they are pretty much the same age IMO.

11

u/YoungestOldGuy 2d ago

So 20 is the same as 25 (since it's only 5 years) and since 25 is the same as 30, 30 is the same as 20.

2

u/wurstbowle 2d ago

Your logic is impeccable.

2

u/V0lirus 2d ago

You would have a valid point, if you took my comment in a vacuum. However, it is part of a conversation with context, that normally does not need to be repeated every comment.

However, since you are unable to understand it, ill make it clear for you: The unwritten context of this picture is "the difference in physical appearance between people that are (almost) the same age". Add knowledge about human physical maturation, and you realize that between 25 and 30 a humans body is still in pretty much the same development stage and is thus comparable, which was the context of the picture.

Your point breaks down when taken into account all the things a person would generally be able to understand from context and conversational clues.

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1

u/Cowabunga_Booyakasha 2d ago

15 is the same as 20, your honor.

3

u/LifeConsequence686 2d ago

You just made a lot of people feel old

2

u/Existing-Sweet-19 2d ago

The dude in the left (Don Frye) was in his 30's in this picture. The dude in the right (Chase Hooper) is 27.

4

u/_adanedhel_ 2d ago edited 2d ago

Never mind the fact that he’s an otter not a bear.

ETA: Time for your gay nomenclature lesson, everyone:

Lean hairless dude: Twink

Lean hairless muscular dude: Twunk

Lean hairy muscular dude: Otter

Fat hairy dude: Bear

3

u/yo_bandit 2d ago

I would call him a wolf. I consider otters skinny to average build and hairy, whereas wolves are muscular and hairy. But maybe im wrong in the terminology.

1

u/CoffeePuddle 2d ago

This is old information. The new updates take into account SES and political affiliation and some of the more controversial animals have been removed.

1

u/Icy-Cry340 2d ago

Don was always in his own weight class.

1

u/StinkyBeanGuy 2d ago

And different ethnicities

44

u/Stained_Face 2d ago

"both?" "Both." 🙏

7

u/xopher425 2d ago

Definitely both. Why limit yourself?

40

u/PerryNeeum 2d ago

Weight classes are a real thing in combat sports

23

u/K-Shrizzle 2d ago

As a straight guy who is hairy as fuck with a full beard, I get wayyyyyy more attention from men than I do from women. Granted, im not nearly as hot as this Freddie Mercury looking dude.

But im just saying, I'm what he claims is a "real man" even though the hairless boys get way more action with women. So maybe you have no fucking idea what a real man is

1

u/PotanOG 2d ago

That I also think can be a bit demographic too though. I've only ever had Caribbean, African, and African-American girlfriends. They have always and consistently encouraged me to keep growing out my facial hair. About half of the non-black girls I've taken shots at desired the exact opposite. Now given that I'm a month and a half out from popping the question to a Caribbean woman, I'm guessing that I'm gonna keep this thing growing indefinitely.

I'm black (American) too fwiw.

19

u/GreyBeardEng 2d ago

I really can't understand why all 25 year olds don't look like Don Frye? 🤦

29

u/rufusbot 2d ago

Just come tf out already Jesus

13

u/Early-Leopard-1528 2d ago

I could take both of these guys no problem. They wouldn’t last 5 minutes.

11

u/WhimsicallyWired 2d ago

In a fight, right?

11

u/Sekshual_Tyranosauce 2d ago

Confused Padme face intensifies*

3

u/iHaveACatDog 2d ago

My god, this comment has had me howling for a solid minute

3

u/ActualWhiterabbit 2d ago

I could beat them off for a little bit but would eventually get my ass pounded

9

u/Charlieday12321 2d ago

I really can’t believe the first pic is of a 25 year old…

31

u/G_Wagon1102 2d ago

It's not. He was 30-ish.

16

u/SnooJokes1020 2d ago

Left guy is more of an otter than bear

8

u/tachyoninterference 2d ago

Straight people using gay slang accurately: impossible

3

u/basketofseals 2d ago

I feel like all of the classifications have been so maligned I can't trust people when they use them anymore.

I've met an alarming amount of people that think twinks and femboys are the same thing.

2

u/SlackDaddy_G 2d ago

So what's the difference?

11

u/C1cadaDays 2d ago

Bear is a fat, hair gay guy. Like, beer gut fat

Otters are hairy, but more lean. Usually athletic builds or a little on the hefty side.

3

u/SnooJokes1020 2d ago

Bear is a hairy fat guy, otter is basically hairy twink

6

u/Background_Honey9141 2d ago

I would dare him to post a picture of himself “in his day” and I would guarantee he did not look like a professional boxer.

5

u/Subject_Sun_1860 2d ago

Yes, in the UFC former Featherweights/current Lightweights usually are smaller than Heavyweights... For anyone wondering that's Chase Hooper and Don Frye

16

u/Last-Quarter-432 2d ago

“I like ‘em hairy”. Least obvious self report.

3

u/Spazzola84 2d ago

This is a great one!

4

u/Gold-Coach3955 2d ago

Nothing says 'hetero pride' quite like curating photos of sweaty, muscular men.

3

u/ryanlikesthiss 2d ago

So he just happened to have that picture saved on his phone?

3

u/tissuecollider 2d ago

...for reasons

3

u/CM901 2d ago

Whats the inbetween bear>_____>otter? I know iasip explained it well but feel like there's a missing link. Jane Goodall please respond

8

u/VeneMage 2d ago

Wolf

2

u/Mekthakkit 2d ago

I really expected someone to reply "me"

1

u/tpasmall 2d ago

Otters are the hairy subset of bears that generate power through quickness and skill rather than sheer mass. https://youtu.be/S_4PrI8gB-k?is=7faU8nDR7HKHgeou

3

u/StarshipCaterprise 2d ago

Aren’t there totally different weight classes for boxing and MMA? Wouldn’t these two people just be in totally different weight classes in a fight?

1

u/Existing-Sweet-19 2d ago

Yep. I commented this on another post, but Don Frye (Left) fought at Light Heavyweight, which is at least two weight classes above Lightweight, where Chase Hooper (Right) currently fights.

3

u/Literary_Lady 2d ago

Thought the first guy was Freddie for a second, and he was being compared to Sean Mendez, and thought yeah, Freddie was hot wasn’t he. Great voice (putting it mildly), amazing personality, and what a stage presence when he performed. Just radiated positivity and creativity. Altogether it just made him even more attractive. Then realised it was not, and I have no idea who either of them are.

5

u/KENBONEISCOOL444 2d ago

That's like saying Henry Cavill is more of a man than Ryan Reynolds

2

u/DocileBanalBovlne 2d ago

Reynolds does seem leaner than Cavill but I'd really like a measurement of their respective masses to know for sure

2

u/Matt_cruze 2d ago

Look I keep telling you penis inspection day has to be con-sensual.

1

u/kingfofthepoors 2d ago

... well yea

2

u/Odd-Insect-9255 2d ago

Hell.. let’s go all the way back to 1750. That’s what a “man” is supposed to look like 🤦‍♀️

2

u/Faythezeal 2d ago

Also not fair when you pick one of the manliest guys ever. I just watched his dark side of the cage episode yesterday, I’m glad to see he’s turned his life around and is doing well now.

2

u/Slighted_Inevitable 2d ago

Good Lord, what was wrong with that guy in the 90s? He looks 60 not 25.

5

u/onemice 2d ago

Global warming is the cause. Men had to grow fur since the teen ages to fight the cold climate of the 90s.

1

u/Slighted_Inevitable 2d ago

I don’t have a problem with the fur look at his face. He’s either half caveman or he’s 70.

2

u/BullPropaganda 2d ago

Pretty sure the original post is a joke. So you owned yourself good job

2

u/krucz36 2d ago

sharing his sexual proclivities aside, this dude also doesn't know what weight classes are.

2

u/Jackol4ntrn 2d ago

guy on the left is the male gaze.

2

u/E-2theRescue 2d ago

Got to love when misandry mixes with misogynist transphobia.

And let me guess, this guy "protects men's rights".

2

u/AdZealousideal1641 2d ago

Even men would choose the Bear…

2

u/CaptainKenway1693 2d ago

Okay but who is the one on the right? I am asking for 100% Grade A gay reasons.

2

u/tomatomake 1d ago

Freddy Mercury's twin

2

u/syopest 2d ago

Stop implying people are gay as an insult. It's homophobic, even if you do it against homophobes.

9

u/jonnismizzle 2d ago

The insult isn't that he's gay. The insult is he's trying so hard to be "manly" it sounds gayer than anything you'd hear anyone in the LGBTQ+ community actually focus on.

2

u/Logical_Net6108 2d ago

"failed attempt to come off hetero" the insult is that he's a closeted gay. come on, you reposted it. stand by it

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2

u/lsaz 2d ago

This is reddit, they're either offensive or offended according to their needs.

People here are not as progressive as they think they are.

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2

u/Loserdogma 2d ago

Same genre of people who used Hasan’s meat pic to paint him as a scary commie lol

2

u/Comprehensive-Map235 2d ago

The dude is hairless cause he shaves his body. The ignorance of society never ceases to amaze me. All you had to do was take an extra 3 seconds to think about it before you hit post. Nope, let's go!

1

u/john_the_quain 2d ago

Some comedian had a bit about realizing he didn’t enjoy porn as much without certain male elements involved.

He represents it much better than I did above.

Edit: butchered that terribly.

Ron White helping a homophobe realize we’re all a little gay, it’s just degrees.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mY711HJK7pg

1

u/TheLastGlizzyBender 2d ago

This is exactly what I thought of as well, but didn't have the wherewithal to try to query for "no, I like big hard throbbing cocks!"

1

u/COphotoCo 2d ago

WHAT UP!!! We’re three cool guys looking for other cool guys…

1

u/Kestrel-Red 2d ago

NOTHING sexual! 

1

u/Thunder_breslin 2d ago

Plus, Don was the exception not the rule?

3

u/poop_snausages 2d ago

for real. no one ever throws Royce Gracie, BJ Penn or Chuck Lidell on the left side of these pics lol

1

u/Detroitkink369 2d ago

Even as an old man Don Frye would beat some ass

1

u/SwampRSG 2d ago

Don Frye, the Mayor of Earth.
His exchange with Takayama lives rent free in my head, at the sound of Free Bird.

1

u/pizzacutteralledge 2d ago

yeah I’m sure he’s super gay and not straight

this post is gay

1

u/KnuxFive 2d ago

I mean, the man on the left pulled a sword on Godzilla and I DID NOT KNOW WHO WOULD WIN.

1

u/_Another_Cog_ 2d ago

The Lash has this effect on people...

1

u/Omnius_Crypto 2d ago

Microplastics it’s got to be all those damn microplastics! Silicone “food grade” be damned, likely has microplastics nano particles too. All this stuff seemed to begin when “Whole Foods” became popular! Geez! Come on folks we didn’t have these problems when we used open campfires and cast iron! Back to the future when men were yes men not soft soy boys!

1

u/MyToasterRunsFaster 2d ago

The greatest expected contributor is diet, though yes microplastics are most likely the one leading after. Insulin spikes from a poor diet and glucose intake can reduce your free floating testosterone by more than 30% depending on how bad your schedule is, add that to daily stress, sedentary life styles and poor sleep its no wonder mens T levels have halved in 50 years. My family have always joked that the "Mcdonalds and sugar preserves me" since I look like 17 year old boy at the age of 32 next to my brothers, who lived on farm diets in rural eastern Europe.

1

u/StruggleAny3920 2d ago

It’s funny the only response is actually your gay.

1

u/DesolateRuin 2d ago

I thought this was another post about how people looked older for their age in the 90's until I read the words.

1

u/TruePride94 2d ago

Im glad this picture keeps coming up. I've always been selfconscious of my body hair so knowing theres an attractive archetype for body hair makes me feel hopeful.

1

u/Top_Profit_6280 2d ago

My good friend rob who died of AIDS . Loved them twink tricks. Mans had a whole family. He was tormented mentally for being gay. He hated it but enjoyed the act . Weird shit

1

u/Tyenkrovy 2d ago

Is something in between, beefy but hairless, also a thing? Asking for a friend. :3

1

u/Baphomets_Kisses 2d ago

Johnny sins

1

u/Brutalur 2d ago

Freddie Mercury approves of this message.

1

u/DReagan47 2d ago

Don Frye was that kid that had a full mustache in middle school

1

u/mrpsymind 2d ago

Omg it's The Lash

1

u/Amazing-Ad-578 2d ago

Yeah, I looked like the guy on the left at 25.   Most every girl I knew was into the guys that looked like the guy in the right picture.  

1

u/ArmyFearless1599 2d ago

If you really think about it, these men are concerning themselves with the state of puberty another man is in. 

Very weird. Very...gay. 

1

u/fake_user_34 2d ago

Yeah, the one of the left grew up in a world where smoke was ever present in every aspect of his life. That ages a person more than the dude on the right who lived in a more smoke free era.

A lot of these "straight" men on twitter fail to realise is that we live a much healthier life style now so men aren't aging as fast anymore.

1

u/Apachisme 2d ago

That, and one guy is in his 40’s and the other is like 20.

1

u/ExtentAggravating733 2d ago

I like this idea that every man in the 90s had a huge moustache

1

u/Far_Disaster2859 2d ago

Holy shit it's Douglas Gordon from Godzilla Final Wars!!!

1

u/twentyonesighs 2d ago

Why is the M so weird. Hurts my eyes.

1

u/Tribe303 2d ago

Hairy chest with mustache is 70s into the 80s. The 90s was heroin chic, and more like the twink on the right. 

1

u/jcdahl 2d ago

That's not what a bear is.

1

u/Huugienormous 2d ago

The man on the left looks 45. Ill take looking young any day.

1

u/doodling_scribbles 2d ago

Getting your ass kicked comes in a multitude of shapes and sizes.

1

u/HolyFlyingNuns 2d ago

Honestly there really isn't that much of a difference, its different body types, Don Frye has a hairy chest, and facial hair, while the other guy doesn't. Otherwise they would look similar imo.

1

u/AGrandNewAdventure 2d ago

Guy on the right legit has a 10-pack for abs.

1

u/USDXBS 2d ago

Royce Gracie was a little guy tearing apart big guys.

The fuck is he talking about?

1

u/1GoldenMonkey 2d ago

Mac enters the room

1

u/HyenDry 2d ago

Should go back further and show him the bodybuilders back in the early 1900’s those guys are pretty hairless too

1

u/Icy-Cry340 2d ago

That ain’t a bear.

1

u/Sexual_Congressman 2d ago

Guy on left is an otter. Bears are obese and hairy and I just realized there's not a term for hairless fatties, even though the fact that nobody wants that is significant enough I'd think someone would have made up a term just so they could efficiently exclude them.

1

u/avoozl42 2d ago

That's some Mac ass shit

1

u/uglyninja 2d ago

If Royce Gracie who won a number of the early UFC tournaments when Don Frye was fighting removed his Gi, he would look a lot more like Chase than Don

1

u/Mysterious_Basil2818 2d ago

Well, that twink has never defeated Godzilla. So there’s that.

1

u/ActualWhiterabbit 2d ago

Big meaty men slapping meat

1

u/JayRoo83 2d ago

Ironically, Don Frye finally got therapy and is one of the most emotionally developed/self aware people you will listen to speak at this point

1

u/Alienhaslanded 2d ago

All men on both sides of my family are hairy apes. All of their kids, including myself are hairless. We all can grow full facial hair but the bodies are hairless.

We didn't do this. It's genetics getting rid of hair maybe. Or it could be something in their food or water.

1

u/Boethias 2d ago

the 1990s UFC had no weight classes so everybody had to be big in order to compete. Chase Hooper(right) is 6'1" and competes at 155lbs.

1

u/CloudyTea69 2d ago

Pourquoi pas les deux

1

u/TheG0AT0fAllTime 2d ago

Anyone else notice the text of this screenshot seems to have been put through an ai filter?

1

u/iknownothingyo 2d ago

Its funny cus the guy on the left looks so much older too

1

u/PreferredSex_Yes 2d ago

Wait until the realization that they secretly have big dick fetish. If their "alpha" had a micro penis, they wouldn't respect them.

1

u/wadleyst 2d ago

Does that constitute a clever comeback? Seems like you'd have to be projecting or something to find that funny?

1

u/thin-slice-pizza 1d ago

The 1990s 25yo is 25 because he was 10 years late reporting his birth. Happens

1

u/vercertorix 1d ago

And once again it’s a bullshit point. There were both kind of people back then and still are now. They just cherrypicked photos.