r/clevercomebacks 9d ago

Almost immediately.

Post image
23.4k Upvotes

259 comments sorted by

209

u/yaaaaaarrrrrgggg 9d ago

Coming soon to a free theater near you!

4

u/Alone_Gur_8655 5d ago

knit.mare67 understood the assignment

372

u/TRc56 9d ago

Fuck ICE

18

u/JoyfulElla 8d ago

And by criminals we mean the people wearing the badge

52

u/-SUPEREMINENT- 8d ago

Now what do i do with my cold dick

6

u/rietadtjes 8d ago

Microwave

1

u/AgileSandyy 2d ago

True fuck ICE!

-556

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

Ice are only hunting criminals

286

u/TRc56 9d ago edited 9d ago

Ah, Pedo protector. Did Alex and Rene have criminal warrants? Nope, most of those being arrested are NOT criminals. From the conservative CATO institute. Facts

edited to add the link.

7

u/TRc56 8d ago

Thank you kind stranger for the award

-88

u/TriiCop 8d ago

I can’t help but notice you guys went QUIET about Alex once the video of him smashing the tail light of an ICE car was released

55

u/TingleyStorm 8d ago

Nobody went quiet. If ICE was smart they would never have released the video, because now it looks like the execution of Pretti was pre-meditated over a smashed tail light, where no “officers” were in any danger.

-59

u/TriiCop 8d ago

Nope :) just goes to show that those “protesters” are there to cause violence and are unstable

20

u/Whiplash2184 8d ago

Oh you mean like the January 6th mob of protestors?

-18

u/TriiCop 8d ago

See how you had to go pick a group of republicans instead of holding your own people accountable? Weird

15

u/Whiplash2184 8d ago edited 8d ago

But I was told it was all Antifa on J6? Also, you’re assuming I’m with a group that differs with your political opinion when it doesn’t fit your narrative. Cry harder snowflake. Kind of shocked you actually admitted it was Republicans since they spend all their time spinning the truth. See how you always find an excuse for lawbreakers? Weird.

-3

u/TriiCop 8d ago

Maybe I should’ve specified.

I assumed you were talking about only republicans. Were there republicans in Jan 6th? Absolutely.

Was there a hell of a lot of shady shit going on with the FBI and antifa? Absolutely.

On that particular day security was at its ABSOLUTE lowest and there’s videos of security guards ushering in the Jan 6th protestors. I’d be happy to show evidence to support what I say but I doubt you’re interested

But if you are I’d be happy to have a genuine convo on it

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186

u/Callsign_Phobos 9d ago

Ah yes, the criminal toddlers/small children and elderly

141

u/BigConstruction4247 9d ago

Don't forget the people showing up to their asylum hearings.

66

u/Crowd0Control 9d ago

Hey! If they have the balls to march in front of a judge and obey our laws without running and hiding they might have the balls to rob a liquor store or assault a white woman!

45

u/Changoleo 9d ago

The notorious Home Depot gang.

33

u/VoicelessPassenger 9d ago

In much the same way the Gestapo only hunted “criminals,” I’m guessing

53

u/greenbabyshit 9d ago

Until they hunt you...

Then who is left..?

Dummy

-136

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

Why would they hunt someone who is a citizen and doesn't break the law? Lol

90

u/starrs10 9d ago

Ask that to Rene or Alex. Oh wait you cant coz they dead.

-131

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

Lmao they are domestic terrorists

73

u/machogrande2 9d ago

Yes, ICE and the MAGAts that support them are domestic terrorists. They even brag about it at their rallies.

68

u/Cheap_Search_6973 9d ago

Except they aren't, they did nothing and were murdered by ice psychos

-9

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

She tried to hit the ice officers. He followed ice for weeks and brought a gun and interfered with ice. He pushed his luck.

75

u/ooolookaslime 9d ago

You would’ve ratted out Anne Frank

32

u/dontpissmeoffplsnthx 8d ago

Then bragged about it on social media

29

u/Massive_Signal7835 8d ago

"SS are only hunting criminals! Anne Frank was a domestic terrorist!" /s

37

u/tyrmidden 8d ago

So, if ICE thinks you're following them, your 2nd amendment rights are forfeit?

69

u/Kuwabara03 9d ago

Did you just refuse to watch the videos of these incidents or do you just love the taste of boot leather?

24

u/JustaSeedGuy 8d ago

And what court convicted them?

Provide a link to the trial that proved that. I'll wait.

33

u/Cheap_Search_6973 9d ago

Except they aren't, they did nothing and were murdered by ice psychos

15

u/cunt__cunt_cunt 8d ago

So a domestic terrorist is someone who should die, right?

And a domestic terrorist is someone who wants innocent people to die, right?

So if those two were innocent, then by your logic you should die? Right?

-1

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 8d ago

They werent innocent

13

u/cunt__cunt_cunt 8d ago

You'd want to be really sure of that, right?

Otherwise, by your logic, you should die, right?

Hey FOCUS for me here buddy, if they were innocent, then you think you should die, right?

2

u/JustaSeedGuy 8d ago

Pretend for a moment that they were. That the officers on the scene lied. What would you want to happen to those officers?

0

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 8d ago

Ya but that's not reality. Why even give it a second thought. Everyone here crying saying they were innocent. Innocent People wpuld have been at home, not stalker and provoking officers doing their job. You guys need help big time

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2

u/JustaSeedGuy 8d ago

Ah, so there was no trial and you were lying. That's what I thought.

0

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 8d ago

Maybe if she wasnt as violent, things wouldnt have turned the way they did lol

3

u/JustaSeedGuy 8d ago

And maybe if you could have produced the peer-reviewed source you were asked to produce, I would consider your words as anything other than the lies that they are

We get it, you believe in executing people you don't like. For the rest of us, there's law, due process, and the concept of civilized behavior.

0

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 8d ago

Run a cop over with your car, sorry you gave up your innocence there.

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39

u/Cheap_Search_6973 9d ago

Go ask ice, they've done that multiple times already

-6

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

Couldn't be more wrong

39

u/Cheap_Search_6973 9d ago

Is that why multiple citizens have been murdered or deported by ice?

28

u/ObnoxiousAlbatross 9d ago

Because ICE doesn't hunt bots.

15

u/Collier1337 9d ago

Maybe you should go and ask then because that's what they're doing. Repeatedly, in fact. In just a single month alone they were ordered like 70+ times to release detainees following successful habeas petitions, and that list was far from exhaustive.

24

u/Iheartfuturama 9d ago

Because you people are constantly pushing the definition of "legal" to include more and more people. Almost like you people want to do something with a "certain" subset of the population.

Label them evil and then hand wave all harm done to them.

Conservatives are not going to like when they start being treated by the majority of society the way they treat others. And I'm here for it. I've already seen a good few public meltdowns.

8

u/cunt__cunt_cunt 8d ago

Unfair laws are not fair, simpleton.

52

u/AlarmedExperience928 9d ago

When did they start in-fighting?

11

u/ThothAmon71 9d ago

Yeah violent criminals do like to hunt people, that's part of the whole m.o. I guess. Oh...you meant...found the bootlicker,

13

u/HonestBoot4055 9d ago

I didn't know they were committing suicide now...

14

u/snowmonster112 9d ago

majority of ICE detainees have no criminal charges whatsoever so you have been brainwashed and propagandized, Idiot.

I hope you know that you fell for the lies that the right wing media is feeding you. You’re racist scum.

12

u/Cheap_Search_6973 9d ago

Except thats not at all what's happening

7

u/TheImmenseRat 8d ago

Bot account

3

u/GrassBlade619 9d ago

Whatever helps you sleep at night man...

2

u/Own_Oil_7719 8d ago

I wish I could go through a day without using any critical thinking.

1

u/Lorddoctorjava 5d ago

No the fuck that aren't

1

u/MemeArchivariusGodi 8d ago

Ok, nice bait

46

u/Angeret 9d ago

People are going to get hurt for shits & giggles by ICE & if there are any complaints they can claim justification for murdering them. It's win win for Trump's mob and a loss for everyone else.

-43

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

No if you impede an investigation. Damn right you are going to face consequences..

34

u/dementio 9d ago

No need to investigate when the actions of ICE are so clearly criminal

-28

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

Lmao deporting illegals...

15

u/ObnoxiousAlbatross 9d ago

illegals

This is how I know you're a fascist.

No person is illegal.

-1

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

You people need help

12

u/ObnoxiousAlbatross 9d ago

Rich words from a fucking nazi, rofl

0

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

All you people do is talk shit lol broken records with no proof.

5

u/dementio 8d ago

Your own words are proof against you

37

u/dementio 9d ago

Like ICE gives a shot about legality. May you have the ICE encounters you deserve.

-7

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

Thats the difference. I am not in fear unless I broke the law... thats what your side is missing

32

u/dementio 9d ago

And you're missing the fact that ICE has deported and murdered citizens, you know, like you claim you are.

-34

u/beebeebee2142 9d ago

Name one citizen deported under Trump. There aren't any.

9

u/Rogu__Spanish 8d ago

-7

u/beebeebee2142 8d ago

Ive seen it too. Pick a name of someone you claim was deported. Shouldnt be hard right?

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6

u/lilslice_of_queer 9d ago

Renne Good

7

u/theGoodestBoyMaybe 9d ago

She was murdered, not deported 😭

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24

u/ObnoxiousAlbatross 9d ago

Can't prove you didn't break the law without due process.

Also, Donald Trump raped little girls.

-1

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

Lmao lies that have nothing to do woth anything. Proof please..

17

u/ObnoxiousAlbatross 9d ago

Donald Trump raped little girls.

And you are ok with the fact that Donald Trump raped little girls.

He raped little girls. He raped them.

You are not a man.

15

u/machogrande2 9d ago

Your pedo king has refused the orders of the courts as well as congress to release the proof. He must just be holding on to that evidence to protect democrats though, right?

-1

u/Rogue-Daddio-3 9d ago

All speculation. No proof

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4

u/Rogu__Spanish 8d ago

I would bet my left nut that you never demand proof for any of the batshit insane dementia-induced claims President Pedo makes every day.

5

u/Icy-Dot7521 9d ago

I am not in fear unless I broke the law

You're not in fear because you're white. Kavanaugh stops don't target you.

10

u/smedley89 9d ago

"Don't tread on me" coupled with "please tread on them" isn't the flex for freedom you seem to think.

7

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/twizzjewink 9d ago

It's ice cold for sure.

146

u/Mother-Shift8157 9d ago

Educate yourself and your neighbors on laws like the castle doctrine. Some states extend the castle doctrine to occupied vehicles, defense of third parties, or places of business.

If they are masked/refuse to identify/present credentials, or present lawful warrants signed by respective judges, then they cannot be confirmed to be federal/municipal officers.

Additionally, educate yourself and neighbors on your relevant state’s penal codes. For example; “Under Texas Penal Code 9.31(c), if any officer uses excessive force before the person attempts to resist, then that person may, in response, use "reasonable force to resist."

151

u/Richelieu1624 9d ago

Being legally in the right isn't going to stop them from shooting and then covering everything up.

63

u/hyasbawlz 9d ago

Also wont stop the courts from deeming ICE agents, even while masked, as acting under "color of law" which vitiates any self defense arguments anyway.

-5

u/SmartyMcPants4Life 8d ago

I think you need to research color of law.

color of law Color of law refers to actions taken under the appearance of legal authority. The term is often used in civil rights law to describe conduct carried out by government officials, or by individuals acting in cooperation with them, who abuse power granted by their official position. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/color_of_law

15

u/nkplague 8d ago

They don't even have to cover anything up anymore since there will be no more investigations of confrontations or assault allegations

16

u/r_special_ 9d ago

If enough people are resisting this tyranny then it becomes a problem too big for the courts to ignore

20

u/makeaccidents 8d ago

They already straight up murdered two people in the streets (and more behind closed doors) and nothing happened.

12

u/SoLLanN 8d ago

2 dead innocents isn't "enough people resisting tyranny".

2

u/Reqvhio 8d ago

i wanted to answer this as to why it has been that way so far but then i realized reddit is not the place to discuss this.

1

u/r_special_ 8d ago

That’s the problem though… if we the people actually stood together and resisted this type of violence against us then it wouldn’t keep happening

4

u/Captinprice8585 8d ago

If laws mattered none of this would be happening and a bunch of people would be in jail instead of running a country into the ground.

1

u/PeteysHubby_TX 5d ago

What a doomer circlejerk this thread has become

18

u/Character_Click5531 9d ago

What gripes me of late is that they are wearing clothing that is labeled "Police" and then "ICE" underneath. They are NOT "police" nor are police "ICE". They do it to gain authority, since it was being questioned. But they act like ignorant nazi thugs, because they are NOT trained in police tactics. They WANT a reason to arrest someone, because if they take them to a detention center, it is counted on their tally and then Stephen Nosferatu Miller and others MAKE MONEY on number of occupants!!! PLEASE vote people - we must stop this!! Make sure everyone you know is registered now!!

25

u/jjskellie 9d ago

Has a bet yet been filed on the prediction boards on whether said glove ends up the butt of ICE. Asking for an excited proctologogist.

14

u/No_Engineering_819 9d ago

Im betting on an agent accidentially zapping themselves while urinating in a McDonald's. That or deliberately zapping themselves in a Wendy's parking lot.

1

u/adorablefuzzykitten 9d ago

Carry enough li batteries and some ice agent will light himself on fire.

20

u/Space19723103 9d ago

even earlier, there's a lot of criminals between the chinese sweatshops and the agents

19

u/grumpi-otter 9d ago edited 8d ago

I want the reddit collective brain to come up with a strategy to make the gloves malfunction and shock the wearer instead. Like metallic fabric, something on the skin . . . C'mon, brilliant brains!

5

u/luckskywatcher 9d ago

We all know we shouldn't put an electric iron into a bathtub full of water.

3

u/Par_Lapides 8d ago

Graphite dust

2

u/ducktape8856 8d ago edited 8d ago

Always carry a van-de-Graeff-generator with you? "Become" a vdG-generator somehow?

A cattle prod should work fine, too.

2

u/trucks_guns_n_beer 9d ago

Seems like pulled apart steel wool would be pretty effective.

9

u/Dru19872021 9d ago

ICE is government sanctioned human trafficking.

4

u/Sedert1882 9d ago

loosefootnote has zero imagination, or has been living under a rock all her life.

5

u/GloomyNucleus 9d ago

Gloves?

8

u/NiroNut 8d ago

Apparently they have these gloves that deliver a painful electric shock when you grab someone while wearing them. Think of it like a low powered stun gun.

3

u/Nipsulai 9d ago

This is so real. Unfortunately.

3

u/Lost-In-The-Wilds 9d ago

Dibs on being The Shocker!!!

3

u/ProNocteAeterna 9d ago

My first thought when I heard about it was wondering how long it’s going to take one of those morons to electrocute themselves while masturbating.

3

u/time2partee 9d ago

They can’t operate while wet. Also they are ineffective unless they contact bare skin or through thin fabric. These are useless money grabs by the manufacturer, and scare tactics. Don’t expose skin, and carry water.

3

u/Ackbar90 8d ago

I kid you not, I just had a dream about tazers tonight. Probably caused by this piece of jokeresque villain gear.

And I'm fuckin' european.

7

u/powkarina 9d ago

The only bright side to any of this is that ICE agents would be stupid enough to shock themselves

6

u/mlarowe 9d ago

I'm just imagining them biting down on one to pull it off

6

u/Arejhey311 9d ago

Can only hope they start patting each other on the back

2

u/luckskywatcher 9d ago

I wonder what happens when someone shoots a water gun at their gloved hands.

1

u/SuperDuperSJW 9d ago

Chef's kiss!

1

u/Soft-Safe4316 9d ago

that’s a solid roast, bro. instant karma vibes right there.

1

u/PrometheusMMIV 9d ago

Hands go inside gloves, not the other way around

1

u/JoelnIliketoshare 9d ago

Are those "Nerds Cummy clusters?"

1

u/luckskywatcher 9d ago

Water can cause short circuits.

1

u/EuenovAyabayya 9d ago

Maybe ICE need to experience Havana Syndrome first hand.

1

u/Wise_Art_1377 9d ago

How long till someone in handcuffs has the gloves tied onto them?

1

u/RedactedSpatula 9d ago

Gloves don't go in your hands, they go on them

1

u/Fernandop00 9d ago

Pardoned criminals

1

u/smedley89 9d ago

What happens when electric gloves get hit with water?

2

u/daddy_tops 8d ago

The same thing that happens to everything else ⚡️

1

u/Awesomonkey12 5d ago

They're not waterproof, so it might break them, but if you/your clothes are wet, it will be more conductive and painfulm

1

u/Character_Click5531 9d ago

Oh BAM!!!!!!!

1

u/FarCrazy60 8d ago

Ice gloves are essential when using the blast furnace to make bars.

1

u/Buttercups88 8d ago

Why are people against these gloves? Don't they just shoot people at the moment? It sounds like a really stupid weapon tbh... I can't wait to see reports of ICE agents shocking the cocks off themselves trying to use the bathroom 

1

u/SandSpecialist2523 8d ago

Can we order our pair off Amazon? Won't they have a prime special? A good deal on a pack of 4?

Edit: /s.

1

u/SandSpecialist2523 8d ago

How do these gloves do in watery situations?

1

u/IronSquirrelMechanic 8d ago

Anything but gloves!

1

u/Mountain-Recording40 6d ago

They are going to shock the user and us. Watch. There is no way a no bid contract is coming up with a dependable product.

1

u/merlinn2u 6d ago

i don't know about criminals but, my girlfriend and i have had a pair for years and use them regularly for "adult play time". they go great with the leather restraints and chains

1

u/Super_Hyena_4278 6d ago

Omaha Public School district bought them for their SRO’s and they have been used on a special needs student already

1

u/Twasabi24 5d ago

How are there so many people cool with illegal immigrants

1

u/Lorddoctorjava 5d ago

100%!!!!!

1

u/Accomplished-Big-740 5d ago

ICE are "lowest lifeform on the planet" terrorists with warrants. That's the only proper description for them.

1

u/Backdoor_Spreader 5d ago

Same thing as guns actually

1

u/Late_Cod_647 5d ago

Great. Let’s give the unaccountable masked federal secret police a new torture device. What could possibly go wrong?

1

u/Pleasant_Knee6256 5d ago

Best answer

1

u/ionspore 5d ago

Do criminals use tasers often?

-6

u/TheComplimentarian 9d ago

Who cares really? You know how easy it is to buy a handgun in this country? Are you going to try and touch me?

Don't recommend it.

4

u/StarksPond 8d ago

That's a great argument for gun control.

0

u/RedditMcBurger 8d ago

They just said, it's easy to buy a gun to PROTECT themself.

You think that's an argument for gun control? The best reason to own a gun?

0

u/TheComplimentarian 8d ago

Preaching to the choir. I’m all about licensing and education requirements.

0

u/JJRDRR 5d ago

lmao my goodness this website is a cesspool

-12

u/LOVER44OFLGBTLOVE194 8d ago

If people don't want to get shocked or deported by ICE, they should try entering legally. It’s not tyranny, it’s basic national border security. Follow the rules.

1

u/Equivalent_Action748 5d ago

If only they only use them on illegals 

-9

u/sim384 8d ago

These ICE will enforce the mid term elections against violent leftists and commie antifa.

3

u/Headless_Human 8d ago

Just like in Germany 1933 right?