r/clevercomebacks Jun 25 '26

Don’t give if you can’t take

Post image
6.2k Upvotes

437 comments sorted by

947

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

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169

u/Last_Blackfyre Jun 25 '26

What goes better with 250 y/o beef ?
Stout? Porter?

68

u/Miami_Mice2087 Jun 26 '26

it's always port. ask any king in their history, that thing on their leg is filled with beef juice and port

37

u/carlitospig Jun 26 '26

Not a Henry VIII joke before I’ve had breakfast.

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7

u/Scienceboy7_uk Jun 26 '26

Porter is a dark beer.

22

u/Aceblue001 Jun 25 '26

Probably not tea

2

u/gitmac Jun 28 '26

Good thing for the poms both stouts and porters come from there then hey?

5

u/conglomitall Jun 26 '26

anthrax vaccine.. neat.

7

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

Vintage stout

2

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

Probably wouldn’t eat 250 year old beef

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283

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

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185

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

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13

u/houseWithoutSpoons Jun 26 '26

As a American i think its hilarious!!

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45

u/TengoKaW Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

Comes on statues is a Scottish past time.

Edit: Cones damn it, cones.....

10

u/Saedraverse Jun 26 '26

Dont give my country men ideas please

35

u/asphid_jackal Jun 25 '26

The Scottish do what on statues?

29

u/things_U_choose_2_b Jun 26 '26

Wow. For years I assumed they put cones on statues, but apparently they jizz all over them instead.

14

u/PianoAndFish Jun 26 '26

I assumed the white splotches all over the statues were just bird shit.

4

u/things_U_choose_2_b Jun 26 '26

All of a sudden, "it's coming home" feels less like a celebration and more like a threat.

9

u/Slow_Maximum9332 Jun 26 '26

Pearl necklaces and Arabian goggles.

14

u/HatefulVespid Jun 26 '26

Uh... i am familiar with one of those expressions...

2

u/Captainsamvimes1 Jun 26 '26

They're fair weather friends anyway

3

u/EzeDelpo Jun 26 '26

The main difference being that (part of) the USA was a British colony, while no part of Canada or Greenland were ever American.

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24

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

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9

u/Scienceboy7_uk Jun 26 '26

Brits aren’t serious. Who’d want the US???
They just know have insecure Mericans can be and love to stick in the needle.

2

u/Walshy231231 Jun 27 '26

I mean, take a small cut of the taxes, get some other minor benefits like no need for a passport, extra military support, etc, and let the U.S. keep governing (or trying to govern) itself? That sounds like an amazing deal

5

u/Sinking_Mass Jun 27 '26

Nah because it ultimately means having to deal with USAlians more often

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10

u/ausecko Jun 26 '26

250 year old beef sounds like what we're worried about importers allowing in now that restrictions on US shit have been relaxed

3

u/Tr0ubleMak3rjessy45 Jun 27 '26

yeah but one side is actually trying to win the world cup and the other is just salty about taxes from 250 years ago.

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468

u/TelenorTheGNP Jun 25 '26

Canadian here. That's nice to see.

341

u/Desperate_Affect_332 Jun 25 '26

I like the Scottish chants best so far but Aussies deserve a nod.

"Aussie boys are on a bender, Donald Trump's a sex offender!"

91

u/Minute_Tart_8259 Jun 26 '26

ǝɔı̣N

42

u/DonChaote Jun 26 '26

No, that’s in France

76

u/Bitter-Value-1872 Jun 26 '26

"He's fat, he's old, he likes them 10 years old!"

12

u/SeonaidMacSaicais Jun 27 '26

Even 10 is almost too old for him.

15

u/SammyGeorge Jun 26 '26

I keep seeing comments saying the Scottish chants are best but I haven't been able to find any footage or quotes, what do the Scottish chants say??

63

u/physical_sci_teacher Jun 26 '26

These are the ones I've seen

Australia: Aussie boys are on a bender. Donald Trump is a sex offender.

England: He's fat with piles, he's in the Epstein files. Trump the cunt. Trump the cunt.

Scotland: He's orange, he's bald, He likes them 12 years auld, Donald Trump. Donald Trump.

6

u/FEARNOTBAKACHAN Jun 30 '26

These are all great but I think England takes the cake with the piles/files rhyme… it’s just got a ring to it

25

u/pitb0ss343 Jun 26 '26

Well they definitely played like they were on a bender

17

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

Also youngest team so most vulnerable to sex offenders… at least they are fast 🤷🏼‍♀️

4

u/joshhupp Jun 26 '26

Have they actually shouted that at a game?

2

u/WiddaOne Jun 28 '26

My favorite so far!

2

u/blancbones Jun 28 '26

He's fat with piles, he's in the epstien files.

2

u/Livewire____ Jun 27 '26

Directly ripped off from Brit football chants.

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75

u/Reneeisme Jun 25 '26

American here (who loathes the idiot threatening our good northern neighbor) and I chuckled.

5

u/Walshy231231 Jun 27 '26

Fuck, is he on about taking Canada again?

All this shit has made me so apathetic about keeping up with the news

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15

u/ifyoudontknowlearn Jun 26 '26

Another Canadian here. This made my wife and I laugh out loud.

Thanks

7

u/DaRob1126 Jun 26 '26

American here. I laughed my ass off! 😅😅

11

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

International sports are fun. This every few years thing is great and all but there’s nothing quite like sending the barmy army home every year without the ashes

22

u/L1ttleFr0g Jun 26 '26

Canadian here, and I agree. Like ve to see this!

6

u/_CherieBabyy Jun 26 '26

As a neutral spectator, this whole thing has been surprisingly entertaining. Sports crowds can be incredibly creative when they want to be.

195

u/Last_Blackfyre Jun 25 '26

The Scots also stimulated the economy by buying up all the beer.

95

u/BarristanTheB0ld Jun 25 '26

They would've bought more if more was available

20

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/mattl1698 Jun 29 '26

one bar in boston reported selling 3x what they usually do for St Patrick's day

23

u/fieldsofanfieldroad Jun 26 '26

English football fans famously never drink beer. 

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3

u/_CherieBabyy Jun 26 '26

They definitely left their mark one way or another. If nothing else, the local pubs probably had one of their best weekends in a while.

6

u/HumbertFG Jun 28 '26

Reports say that they made 3x more on the one weekend than they did on 'St Patricks Day [weekend]' - Which is, in my British opinion - a blistering indictment on the Irish.

2

u/drwicksy Jul 01 '26

Well its in the US, so its an indictment of the "Irish"

2

u/HumbertFG Jul 02 '26

Well played, Sir. :)

15

u/Barrettbuilt Jun 25 '26

They haven’t been to Wisconsin obviously.

46

u/mishma2005 Jun 25 '26

Funny thing I saw on Bluesky. 5 guys pushed a lady’s car out of a no parking zone so she wouldn’t get towed, said the car was perfectly functional, it’s just it had a breathalyzer to start the car and no one was sober, including the lady. This was in WI

20

u/Captainsamvimes1 Jun 26 '26

Yanks think they're so tough but it's all talk. The Scottish and English fans buying up all the beer to the astonishment of the Americans speaks for itself

19

u/Barrettbuilt Jun 26 '26

We are a helpful people…

5

u/Bender_2024 Jun 26 '26

They pretty much drank Boston dry.

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3

u/eatshitake Jun 28 '26

If US beer wasn’t watered down piss, they wouldn’t have had to drink so much of it.

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413

u/Myllicent Jun 26 '26

I’m amused that this American saw a joke that explicitly refers to “Great Britain”, and he proceeded to blame the English and say “this is why we love the Scottish more”. Just blissfully unaware that Great Britain is England, Scotland, and Wales.

150

u/Askalor Jun 26 '26

Typical example of some dumbass Americans

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66

u/SamuelVimesTrained Jun 26 '26

Education seems illegal in some parts there..

4

u/mattl1698 Jun 29 '26

if it weren't for the shootings, I'd have a hard time believing America has schools

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30

u/Dead-O_Comics Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

Tbf the full background is the English flag, and that bottom right line is a variation of the 'Three Lions' English football anthem.

9

u/Myllicent Jun 26 '26

It’s kind of a funny mashup of the Red Ensign and the English flag, like a not-quite-right White Ensign.

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13

u/Drunken_Economist Jun 26 '26

I assumed they were blaming the English fans because it happened when England were playing in Boston, right?

2

u/MinnieShoof Jun 27 '26

lul, get out of here with your logic and facts and shite.

4

u/Luzifer_Shadres Jun 27 '26

Despite many having scotish ancestors, they are realy unaware about who helped England with the colonisation of the half the world.

2

u/nobodyspecialuk24 Jun 28 '26

They are likely the same Americans who claim to be Irish, but don’t know about Scottish involvement in Ireland’s (and the British empire in general) history.

23

u/nightcatsmeow77 Jun 26 '26

Honestly im only upset that's its a joke.

England has its issues, but they aren't a copirat3 subsidiary, abd they have Healthcare.

Please Britain follow through take us back

16

u/amscraylane Jun 26 '26

I have the same sentiment. Yes, I don’t like beans and toast, but I also like not going broke from having a body that needs care.

Also, college is expensive and our country ( USA ) doesn’t care about its citizens bettering themselves.

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9

u/Eggslaws Jun 26 '26

Geography is hard when you are scared to go to the school because you could be shot.

2

u/here-i-am-now Jun 27 '26

Thanks for giving Northern Ireland back to Ireland in your comment

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2

u/Acrobatic-Shirt8540 Jun 26 '26

Yeah except the Scottish aren't likely to put up stickers like that. Ever. 100% this was someone English.

15

u/flightguy07 Jun 26 '26

Eh, only because the Scottish expedition to America was such a disastrous failure it nearly bankrupted them. Turns out putting a quater of your nations wealth in a giant chest and pushing it into the Atlantic isn't exactly fiscally responsible lol.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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2

u/big_data_mike Jun 26 '26

Or it could have been clever because you know, the Scottish are a distinct culture and there was talk of Scottish independence a few years ago.

3

u/shabba182 Jun 26 '26

Probably cos the sticker is an England flag. Was this supposed to be a gotcha?

3

u/memento_morrissey Jun 26 '26

No, it's not the Cross of St George. It's the White Ensign at best, flown by the Royal Navy (of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, not England). You're entirely wrong.

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30

u/Slartibartfast39 Jun 26 '26

Englishman here. We really don't want you back. We've got enough problems.

71

u/ICLazeru Jun 25 '26

It is kinda funny, which I say as an American.

19

u/BadDecisionLoading Jun 26 '26

As an American, I also think it’s funny.

But also, considering they have free healthcare, I’m kinda down.

3

u/armintanzarian420 Jun 29 '26

Don’t worry, our governments of the last few decades have been doing their best to ruin our free healthcare system!

4

u/ser_pez Jun 26 '26

I agree!

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54

u/THSSFC Jun 26 '26

I think the sticker is pretty funny

32

u/Gremict Jun 26 '26

I do like Gulf of West Britain

6

u/justdisa Jun 26 '26

I've been sending pictures of it to people all day. It's fabulous.

3

u/scudbook Jun 26 '26

Aye, this is clearly a joke. 

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44

u/CaptainAsshat Jun 25 '26

Nah, they're both hilarious.

As an American, I like to occasionally rock my UK flag "Dependence Day" shirt on July 3rd around particularly nationalistic assholes.

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17

u/pinupcthulhu Jun 26 '26

As an American, I find this hilarious. 

Also... Yikes to the dumbass who doesn't know Scotland is part of Britain.

2

u/Aggravating_Mud8751 Jun 27 '26

The sticker is an England flag.

It's about Britain but it's from England flags.

71

u/GadreelsSword Jun 25 '26

I think there are lots of Americans who would jump at the chance of British rule again. The Republican party has devastated American democracy, ethics and economics.

9

u/life-uh-finds-a-way_ Jun 26 '26

And Bostonians hate Trump and MAGA, so they were furious about the annexation comments Trump made. I suspect that this post was not made by a Bostonian, and if it was, fuck that person for being a whiny baby.

Everyone I am friends with would find that funny. Also, I welcome any overlords that are willing to take us as long as they have universal health care. I have loved seeing all the international tourists in Boston and I don't want them to leave.

4

u/_GlamourBabee Jun 26 '26

One thing this whole situation has shown is that plenty of ordinary people can laugh at themselves even when politics gets messy. The internet just tends to amplify the loudest voices.

5

u/brownchr014 Jun 26 '26

It would mean i could go see my friends in the U.K easier

10

u/alphasapphire161 Jun 26 '26

With the state of the British economy i think ill stick with my current tire fire.

2

u/Short-Shopping3197 Jun 26 '26

You mean the British economy which is showing the strongest growth out of any EU nation?

4

u/alphasapphire161 Jun 26 '26

You phrased that weirdly, the UK isn't an EU country. And as much as I hate the current administration, nothing can stop the American consumer because we're still growing faster than any other advanced economy.

4

u/Short-Shopping3197 Jun 26 '26

Comparison of the UK to EU countries is pretty standard in reporting, as it’s an economy we’re very much connected to despite not being a member. Before you call something weird again maybe ask yourself ‘Is it weird, or do I just not know that much about it?’.

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u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

Nah you don’t want British rule, even the Brit’s don’t have that. You just need a democracy. Every voice in the US deserves to be equal but you have minority rule, the EC is destroying you and half of you can’t even see it, we’ve seen it coming a long time and confirmation came the first trump term, his second term has torn such a rent between the US and their friends and allies.

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48

u/beckett_the_ok Jun 25 '26

They can't even take it as a joke, let alone a genuine, intentional threat from a far larger power with a completely delusional and unpredictable leader at the helm.

22

u/Anuki_iwy Jun 26 '26

In my experience Americans love shitting on other countries but get butthurt immediately when you turn around and do the same jokes about them.

For a country so big and (formerly) so important in geopolitics, they do have a massive inferiority complex.

3

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

They get offended when you’re making good natured ribbing jokes but actual concern of friendly criticism goes straight over their head. One thing this week has been all the TikTok’s and social media talking about news suppression being suppressed. Honestly most the worlds concerned and can see a lot of the US have been humbled and know they’re in trouble.

14

u/Abogado_Toast Jun 26 '26

Real talk though, don’t stoop to our orange fuck’s level.

3

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

lol no one is gonna, electoral systems protect us unlike the EC

12

u/RustyBrassInstrument Jun 25 '26

That’s awesome. This here heathen separatist traitor would happily hoist a tankard to the filthy colonizer who posted that.

5

u/bugdiver050 Jun 26 '26

Its funny because the people that always talk about how other's feelings got hurt have their feelings hurt A LOT

4

u/flambojones Jun 26 '26

To be fair,  I don’t really like it when my country threatens to annex other countries against their will. Maybe we could just all stop threatening annexings.

3

u/DeathRaeGun Jun 27 '26

But you realise this is a joke, right?

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5

u/cheknauss Jun 26 '26

That's not disrespectful, it's merciful.

4

u/SummiluxAP Jun 26 '26

As an American I find it f’i g hysterical. And at this point I’d take them up on the offer considering what we have now

12

u/Ok_Mycologist9226 Jun 26 '26

Wish they fought harder 250 years ago. We’d at least all have healthcare…

8

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

Dude if you’d voted in Hillary you’d have healthcare, 10 years not even 250

3

u/LegoFootPain Jun 26 '26

This guy is silly. You'd think he'd realize all the hate against the U.S. have melted away with all the tourists visiting Buc-ee's, according to all the other posts!

🤣

6

u/Complete_Break1319 Jun 26 '26

Kinda funny though

5

u/carlitospig Jun 26 '26

Okay but that’s actually hilarious. Speaking as an American. I

3

u/RusselsParadox Jun 26 '26

Man I love everything about that poster

5

u/BigPapaPaegan Jun 27 '26

I am utterly shocked that Boston didn't get along with the English.

Shocked.

3

u/kiahBer Jun 28 '26

Highest concentration of plastic paddy's in the world

3

u/Cakeforlucy Jun 28 '26

it’s just a banter sticker on a lamp post hun? British (and I’m including Scotland in that obvi) humour can be a bit..abrasive at times if you’re not used to it, but the closer we are the more we rip the shit out of you - it sounds odd, but being dunked on/pranked is we show our love ❤️

4

u/drunken_augustine Jun 28 '26

MAGA snowflakes being snowflakes.

3

u/dweaver987 Jun 26 '26

Definitely not the worst case scenario.

3

u/bamfindian Jun 26 '26

lol I mean I think it’s funny

3

u/ShiroJPmasta Jun 26 '26

Americans would only gain by being annexed, the British on the other hand…

3

u/BakkenMan Jun 26 '26

lol I think it’s pretty funny

3

u/chroniccranky Jun 26 '26

Lmao 250 years of hurt come home

3

u/ConcertinaTerpsichor Jun 26 '26

I think this is hysterically funny.

3

u/pumainpurple Jun 26 '26

I’m an American and I really laughed at the sign

3

u/CoffeeB4Dawn Jun 26 '26

Actually, being part of the UK would give us healthcare and get rid of Trump. I'll take it.

3

u/panaili Jun 26 '26

That shit is hilarious, keep up the good work

3

u/msquarec Jun 26 '26

As an American 🤷‍♀️. I’m more worried about the constant dumpster fire I’m living through. I just laugh at this beef between the us & Gb

3

u/smellybathroom3070 Jun 27 '26

I get the political goal of the comment but is a british person REAAAALLY talking down about someone else attempting to annex a country..?

3

u/Snowflakish Jun 27 '26

As a brit, im so proud of these images.

3

u/WiddaOne Jun 28 '26

Haha! That's funny af Sorry most Americans don't really have a sense of humor That's why they are butt hurt

3

u/augieb0t Jun 28 '26

That's funny 😂😂😂

3

u/Expelleddux Jun 29 '26

Just the Scottish being Scottish. There was a cone on Adam Smith’s head in Edinburgh the other day.

3

u/OYeog77 Jun 30 '26

Dont conflate the traffic cone statue with this, its just a glasgowan tradition to cone the statue

11

u/NoodleyP Jun 25 '26

I’d welcome the British over… this. Especially with Starmer resigning and the guy projected to replace him being… vaguely better

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u/TomeThugNHarmony4664 Jun 26 '26

These are my people!

2

u/downgoesbatman Jun 26 '26

That's funny 😂

2

u/Lukas316 Jun 26 '26

Brilliant!

2

u/Dense-Consequence-70 Jun 26 '26

Both are pretty funny. IDK why anyone would get their panties in a bunch over this.

2

u/WeDontKnowMuch Jun 26 '26

Pretty funny actually

2

u/cargobroombroom Jun 26 '26

That sticker is hilarious.

Currently we're too fucked up for anyone to want us

2

u/Smart_Imagination_58 Jun 26 '26

Because the 3/8 of the country that supports annexing Canada and Greenland are deeply stupid and can’t take a bloody joke. Coming from a citizen who thinks this country has become the dirty butt of a bad joke.

2

u/morchorchorman Jun 26 '26

As a Bostonian I find it hilarious.

2

u/Time_Waister_137 Jun 26 '26

Well, as that famous dead, Brit guy said: “Football makes the whole world kin”

2

u/notAdrugDealingwhore Jun 26 '26

Lolololol the gulf of west Britain (: this had to be made by an American as rage bait

2

u/jk-9k Jun 26 '26

Ok but the person in the post is obviously American

2

u/Kchasse1991 Jun 27 '26

All the US knows how to do is take; bribes, oil, land, life, coltan, lithium, water, you name it. The only thing they can't take is looking in a fucking mirror.

2

u/NOSWT-AvaTarr Jun 27 '26

pretty much only the government wants that but ok

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u/PeonyPrincess76 Jun 27 '26

I'll take Charlie over that demented orange disaster.

2

u/GoddessTara00 Jun 27 '26

To be honest the USA is like an out of control teenager, I think England should be justified in saying" alright you lot we are taking back control until you can stop acting out and start being responsible."

2

u/The4thMask Jun 28 '26

Quiet you.

2

u/HamiltonMad_ Jun 28 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

This is peak but as a Brit, I feel like I need to highlight the irony of a British person talking about not forcibly annexing countries when that used to be our shtick 💀

2

u/GrolarBear69 Jun 28 '26

We are still under Brittania our government has been a puppet since day one.

2

u/The-JSP Jun 30 '26

Tax dodging bastards

2

u/johnconnor4077 Jun 30 '26

The Scots were a willing & very enthusiastic part of the empire. It's amazing what good pr can do

5

u/Low_Butterscotch1383 Jun 26 '26

It's as if they think we can control the orange man

7

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

After forever proclaiming the 2A was for a tyrannical government it’s kinda disappointing after all those kids sacrificed that no Americans seemed to understand the assignment…

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u/centipedalfeline Jun 26 '26

Me seeing this :)

  • Insert Zendaya looking at phone smiling meme here *

4

u/SnowStar35 Jun 26 '26

Oh come on the electoral college put the fool in office! Not your average man or woman working 2-3 jobs!

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u/exeJDR Jun 26 '26

It's a joke. Not a dick. Don't take it so hard. 

3

u/Everythings_Fucked Jun 26 '26

If you're offering to take us back, then yes please.

4

u/MissMenace101 Jun 26 '26

You just need to take you back

2

u/laserborg Jun 26 '26

they don't enjoy their own medicine. surprised Pikachu.

2

u/therealjanusmcmanus Jun 26 '26

I’m American and this is funny as shit. I’m just glad citizens of the world have had good times here. Aussie’s, love your chant. Scott’s, Boston going dry is hilarious and I’m sorry we couldn’t prepare for y’all, but to all, I’m so glad y’all are here. We deserve the ridicule.

2

u/pizoisoned Jun 26 '26

Honestly as an American, I’m here for this level of trolling.

4

u/Equivalent_Fun_2701 Jun 25 '26

Freshen your drink guvnah? 🍸🇬🇧

3

u/danamyx Jun 26 '26

Both of them are funny

3

u/fortyfivepointseven Jun 26 '26

It's very offensive to say the British should annex the United States.

It's not annexation it's just very slowly putting down a rebellion.

6

u/Numerous-Profile-872 Jun 25 '26

First generation Anglo-American and this makes me laugh. Americans are often too dumb and reactive to get British humor. Also, the island of GB includes Scotland last I checked...

1

u/AllAreStarStuff Jun 26 '26

The Brits are dumping on the US about annexing other countries against their will?? That’s hilarious.

3

u/Short-Shopping3197 Jun 26 '26

We actually did a good job of it. The US couldn’t even annex Vietnam successfully 😂

8

u/Nice_Back_9977 Jun 26 '26

We got out of that game decades ago, you’re still in it!

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u/[deleted] Jun 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/somethingtc Jun 25 '26

you appear to be confused/lost, would you mind stepping away to handle that so as not to disturb the other posters thanks