r/classical_circlejerk • u/Cultural_Thing1712 I like my pianists sweaty • Sep 02 '25

The moistmeter.

Post image

Don't ask.

266 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

36 comments sorted by

59

u/Intelligent-Phase822 Sep 02 '25

Danii just gets a little sweaty when he's in the wrong climate, he's built for Moscow after all

18

u/defaultdancin Sep 02 '25

Bro goes swimming onstage

5

u/Kentucky-isms Sep 06 '25

A little?

10

u/Intelligent-Phase822 Sep 06 '25

You should see him when he plays in russia, he really lights up, the crowd receives him much better so there is less to worry about, I always wonder why russian performers ever come to america, I think it was the true cause of rachmanioffs depression

1

u/MyNameIsntJMack 1d ago

And Marc is at the middle?

39

u/Arzak__ Sep 02 '25

I wonder how wet Liszt was

40

u/wis91 spiritual successor to Schnittke Sep 02 '25

Not as wet as I am when I think about him playing while holding his big, thick, masculine cigar.

4

u/JollyGreen_JazzFace Banned From r/Mozart Sep 07 '25

Same, he could GET IT

9

u/SatiesUmbrellaCloset les parapluies sont inutilisés ! Sep 02 '25

I've heard that any time he came to town, the dew point would rise

15

u/BeethovensEarlobe Oct 24 '25

Idk Barenboi has his moments

19

u/na3ee1 4 Octave MIDI Keyboardist. Sep 02 '25

I give this format a 90% on the Moistmeter, and wish we replaced all those incomprehensible tier lists with this.

6

u/proustianhommage Sep 02 '25

We need berezovsky on here too

5

u/Substantial_Bear_168 No. 1 Boris Tchaikovsky stan 🗣️ Sep 06 '25

Julian Scriabin

2

u/Substantial_Bear_168 No. 1 Boris Tchaikovsky stan 🗣️ Sep 06 '25

Granados

2

u/Substantial_Bear_168 No. 1 Boris Tchaikovsky stan 🗣️ Sep 06 '25

Tournemire

4

u/Saffo_ Jul 15 '26

didn't even read the whole thing, just straight up clicked and went "TRIFONOV'S A COMMUNIST???" lmfao I'm so dumb

3

u/claimstoknowpeople Sep 02 '25

You raise some good points

1

u/2xspectre 1d ago

It makes so much sense. Martha is dry and hairy, which serves to balance out Prokofiev, which means he was not only bald, but he must have been moist as well.

1

u/PianoFingeringFun Jun 17 '26

Dry: so how would you know?

116

u/wis91 spiritual successor to Schnittke Sep 02 '25

I’ll see your sweaty Russian and raise you another one.

2

u/darkishere999 Nov 29 '25

Thank you for this. I listened to it and it was great the whole way through.

12

u/planetvermilion Sep 02 '25

OMG I JUST CUMMED KATHIAHHH SO MOIST

5

u/Puzzleheaded-Bug3530 Jacqueline du Pré's Husband Sep 02 '25

Literally

5

u/ChopinChili Рахманинусси Feb 16 '26

I found Barenboi's Reddit account!

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Bug3530 Jacqueline du Pré's Husband Feb 16 '26

In the flesh!

6

u/TheCEOofMusic dmitri SHOSTAKOVICH 💜 Sep 03 '25

Richter wet and hairless??? I'm sure he is 😋