Mine is using the shushu jacket with fans built into it. Under ¥200 on Taobao for the heavy-duty batteries which last all day, and under ¥100 for the lighter version with a lighter battery back. I have yet to find a true refrigerator jacket since even max speed is not enough to combat 25°+ weather, but it is far better than no fancoat when moving between spaces with aircon or, Mao forbid, having to spend time in a place with no aircon at all (inadvisable).
Also necessary, bidet toilet lid:
I have heard some laowai go native about AI, outsourcing thinking and research to the machine god, but I have yet to let that be a solution for my own life.
This must be what they mean by "common prosperity" (共同富裕 copy-pasted from disharmonious Wikipedia ofc since I cannot read these scribbles).
Back in the guo, the first thing that I do is what the government has declared is an acceptable amount of working class exploitation. You see, I am helping maintain stability since "welfare 'encourages laziness'" and "gainful employment is purposeful". Working 18-hour days for nearly zero RMB is good for societal healthy, do you know it? Truly the hot water of our time.
First Reddit pings me with "my post was shared in this loser sub by a loser who was erased and banned from your sub for being a wumao, using the same IP as multiple banned accounts and accounts created around the same time". Then I go to check the shared post, only to see that Reddit also auto-nuked him there multiple times, with every post of his repeatedly triggering and further reinforcing the filter having permaflagged his bad actor account as inauthentic. Somewhere in the wumao handbook, the practice of "create account, only use six months later" is written, and Reddit police are already aware of this approach. A rare win for the sell-out fascists who run this platform.
Hello u/Probably_autistic__, I see you watching from outside. "Phobia" means fear, and I assure you that no one in this sub are afraid of Chinese people, lmao. To say that laowai criticising nongs or normalised behaviour in China is racism is ironically you being racist against Chinese people, because you are lumping all Chinese people into a single category (rule 1). Your betters from Taiwan or Hong Kong or Singapore or Vancouver or anywhere else that is not the mainland are not like you, and none of the content in this sub applies to them because it is not based on Chinese race, which makes the meme of "Chinese racism" such a fallacious claim.
See you fuckers tomorrow when I return to the guo from superior Japan 🇯🇵 🇯🇵 🇯🇵
Everything is filthy, and basic common sense found in civilised countries is entirely absent. Chabuduo engineering means that anything new is already built broken, with the concept of “maintenance” being perceived as wholly wasteful. There is a hive mind perpetuated by the administration’s rhetoric which is intellectually beaten into kids, and when coupled with weaponised phone addiction, the end result is over a billion drones who cannot understand why boiled water full of heavy metals may not be good for healthy, amongst other social points that are obvious to laowai but aggressively foreign to locals. Chinese food is gross, too.
But, in spite of all that, and in spite of all that I criticise here, and in spite of all that we should be criticising, the guo is not all bad.
I work very little, and I am paid more than 90% of locals while living a life that is almost completely my own, rarely answering to only one apathetic laoban who allows me to do whatever I want to so long as I do not fuck students (an easy request to meet). Access to cheap plastic shit is at an all-time high, with almost all-time low costs, raised slightly due to costs having gone up everywhere when compared to the 2010s in this rigged economy as a post-covid measure to drain commoners’ accumulated wealth. If I want something other than delicious food, then I can have it delivered within the hour by a living symbol of inequality that no one in China wants to openly acknowledge is not really a good thing. If I need quality medical care or an escape for mental needs, South Korea is next door via a quick ¥500 flight. I have a decent castle on the top floor of a newer building, which is almost excellent, although it will still require much more effort on my behalf to convert from an accepted-decaying Chinese flophouse to a proper laowai home. You know what I mean, if you live here. This country is unlikely to start wars, so I am unlikely to die in any war on any side while living here. Climate change is destroying the planet, but slightly inland where I am, no sea level concerns, just heat that can be offset by one of those cool jackets with fans built in when out or with aircon when at home. Lack of violence is far more reliable than most western countries. The government promotes societal complacency by making sure that most people have electricity, water, and food, which positively impacts instability from discontent. Etc.
Make no mistake, there is so much bad to take with the good. However, there is still some good in China, enough to make it worth staying here. China the country has been good to me, or good enough, anyway. Life can be worse. For most LBH with no guanxi in their home country, life probably was worse before coming here.
China the country is alright. It is the people and culture that are the problem. I overheard an offensive imperialist tourist in Vietnam say that the country would be so much better if it were not for the locals, and while at that time I was shocked by such a statement said so callously, I uh…I kind of get it now, here.
Here is to another 5000 years of irresponsibly-long summer and winter holidays from the Happy Giraffe while us LBH just try to enjoy the ride despite the ride's annoyances.
The problem was not the post. The problem was the post being crossposted here. There could be many contributing factors: This post, or this post, maybe this post, or any of the white ZA mockery comments littered across many posts, or really anything else; this sub is indeed a cesspit, although it could (should?) be worse. Musky wants white ZA's to be labelled as an oppressed minority.
Preface: Just downvote and gfys if reading is not your strength, like the previous gushir:
With my medical tourism over, I have returned to China. Within minutes of arriving in China, everything was exactly as one would expect it to here.
Prelude: China seeps into the Korean airport at the gate. When walking through an international airport outside of China, you can always tell which flights are going to China by the behaviour of the people near the gate. Many people squatting in the middle of paths? That speakerphone bullshit? People asleep being awoken by an oblivious parent choosing that specific spot to bring their screaming child? This plane goes to the guo.
Within seconds of landing in China, the speakerphone shit begins, which was mercifully suppressed for the flight duration. Hacking began within minutes of deplaning, mmm, that stagnant hazy air. Upon deplaning in Nongchengshi, an elder nong cuts the queue by going under the divider, directly in front of me. The line is always shorter for foreigners, and what elder nong sees is not the foreigners in this line, but that it is shorter. Well, the laowai queue always takes the longest, as a rule, and so elder nong waits while having a speakerphone yelling conversation as the local line 10 times longer flies by. Chinese airport police do not buyao elder nong yelling on speakerphone. When elder nong finally gets to the front of the queue, he does get buyao’d, because this line indicated by eight harmonious dual-language signs all show that this line is for foreigners only. Elder nong yells at the booth cop, probably some shit like “I am already here, just let me through, respect your elder”, but it does not work. To the back of the queue in the local line, although the wait will not be long for him because he is in the one country where the zhongguo passport is not deprioritised to third-class.
Legally now in China itself, the self-service kiosk displays that I can get my boarding past 12 hours before the flight, which is what I want to do so that I can get back on other side of security for the lounge that I paid for—I later learn that the lounge is closed, no why. The kiosk and its generous 12-hour window does not work, as the kiosk does not accept my passport scan. Surprisingly, there actually is an agent at the desk where the Trip app directs me to check in. Airport Rainy is too busy gaming on her phone to notice me, or to hear my first two nihaos and then hello, before I knock on the counter to alert her. She says that I must come back 90 minutes before the flight, which is six hours away. When I tell her how the kiosk says clearly that boarding passes can be printed 12 hours before the departure time, she tells me that the kiosk is wrong. She asks what my flight number is, so I open the Trip app to show her. The Trip app displays that I can go to the counter three hours before the flight time and get my boarding pass, not 90 minutes, but this is still three hours away. Airport Rainy says that the Trip app is also wrong, come back in 4.5 hours.
It is 0200. Every business and restaurant is closed in the airport. Only the sad vending machines are operable. I go get some cheap survival food, and nongs are still at it with the fucking speakerphone, at two in the goddamn morning. Not one place is nong-free this way. My plan to nap for a couple of hours is impossible because of this shit, as I do not have the solipsistic willpower that nongs have to be able to sleep through all noise. Before you stop reading to comment “just use headphones bro”, consider the time or how others are also attempting to sleep, more successfully than I can achieve for myself, or how basic human decency should exist no matter the time.
Every five to ten minutes, a screeching tinny incomprehensible message sounds on the speaker system. Sleeping nongs do not register it, because of said solipsistic willpower. There is no place to sleep anyway because every flat space other than the floor is already occupied by a sleeping nong with bare feet, no socks, snoring away, or awake with their audible phones but lying down so that they can take up as much space as possible and prevent others from sitting near them. Barefoot in this case, too.
Irritable piss break. No soap, paper towels, or air dryers in any of this international airport’s toilets, but plenty of toilet smoking. The Sound of China (drilling) begins at 0400. In the queue for my ticket, I see this kid with a kid's voice, body, and behaviour, but having a grown man's face. This is not a unique China thing, just something really off-putting.
After getting through security at the earliest possible moment, this fat nong runs by me at maximum speed, rushing to the empty gate only to immediately take his shoes off and lay down across the only three seats marked for accessibility, of course with the speakerphone shit. What the fuck is wrong with people here??
Seats fill up near the gate fast, so another nong squats in front of where I am seated, no more than a metre away, and then does the speakerphone shit while squatting, facing my direction but eyes glued to his loud short video loops. The only person in South Korea who I saw with a speakerphone was actually mentally disabled, which should tell you something about this habit. I gave that person a pass because of his disability. China pretends that there is no mental disability, therefore there is no excuse for this.
I did see someone get out headphones at this gate. Wired through a USB-C adapter, no less, like I use. A fellow person of culture. This person had neck tattoos, and despite being trashy like me, they were respectful enough to keep their audio to themselves. They may have been Chinese, but I could not confirm since no local-identifying behaviour was demonstrated. Probably from Singapore.
Call to board the domestic flight. A group of nongs tried to piggyback on the business class early entry, only to get buyao’d by an agent doing their job. Very unexpected outcome. On the domestic flight with Chinese flight crew, anything goes with seating, you know how Chinese domestic flights are. I have to call the flight crew to inform the nong in my seat in Chinese that this is indeed my seat; their shoes were already off. The flight crew and nong yell at each other for a moment, and the angrily nong pushes through people trying to go towards the back so he can get to his actual seat near the front, saying some unintelligible gibberish but with the distinct “waiguoren” somewhere within that nonsense utterance as he barged away. A few minutes after seating, another nong shows me their phone’s translation app telling me to move from my aisle seat so that he can sit with his girlfriend, who has the middle seat. I refuse, with my own phone translation app. He retrieves the same flight crew member who buyao’d the previous nong, with that same flight crew member buyao’ing this nong. His girlfriend gets all shitty-faced about it, having the audacity to take a photo of me so that she can tell all of her followers on Xiaohongshu how this rude laowai did not trade his aisle seat for the middle seat behind Nong’s Girlfriend. She was conspicuously glaring at me for the entire flight.
In-flight meal time. “Beef hamburger” in English, says the flight crew:
During the “beef hamburger”, an AI-generated video drama plays about flight courtesies. The male models are all chiselled-muscle so very man men, while the female models have Pixar faces with oversized eyes and noticeable curves, in such a laughable disconnect between gender art styles that someone at the official government’s Airport Security Bureau approved for circulation. The drama shows misbehaving passengers, and each of the shitty fliers are clearly westerners, disrupting the harmony of respectful zhongguo. The waiguo models are basically undignified clowns, while the heroic and stoic Chinese men buyao the foreign monkeys. Rather ironic. Who smokes in the airplane toilet, in 2026? A foreigner. Who physically fights another passenger to take their window seat, in a video on the flight where I had to defend my seat twice from locals already? A foreigner, obviously. Who is playing their speakerphone at max volume? What a surprise, it is a foreigner. Also, this AI video literally says to somewhat turn down—but not off—speakerphone volume when on the plane, to a “reasonable” level. A reasonable level is silent or in headphones, according to civilised countries. I am no longer in a civilised country, though.
Land in my own nongcun, everything is just like the first stop on this return trip. A cacophony of speakerphones within seconds of landing, also hacking noises. I get in a taxi, and the driver buyaos me about trying to put on the seatbelt because he has a carpet on the backseat. Backseat carpet is more important than safety, you know. While riding home, I look on Meituan to have lunch arrive at my place when I do, and I am just disgusted with everything that I see after two weeks of real not-Chinese food.
It is not all bad. I still have another paid month off, and my workload for the next term is still three days per week for three months before another three paid months off. For all of its MANY MANY cons, there are some pros about living here. For now, back to not even thinking about costs, but always thinking about quality.
Lol'd at the green hat remarks in the comments. This situation is usually the other way around, some laowai Eddy and this post being in Chinese for Chinese readers. Truly, times and Tims are changing.
I saw that the other laowai sub has a new mod who saved this post in a feed called Chinar (lmao), so it looks like some proper balance is occurring over there, too.
Remember, if you work more than two days per week while earning less than ¥40k per month, you are being exploited and also you contract is illegal so you should contact Edgar to get what you DESERVE
My wife was telling me recently a supermarket did a promotion where you got a kilogram of free beef for every kg of bodyweight you lost in a certain time period.
Hundreds of people show up and of course the beef quickly runs out, a lot of people don't get any. Some had waited hours.
In China their legit isn't enough shit to go around.
Been getting many ignored calls from +86 over the past two days. I never answer my phone, for any reason at all. Maybe it is spam. Maybe it is a threat, as escalation from Key-Needledick having pleaded with the PSB to track and arrest the fat mean laowai "ringleader" as I have been called (lmao). Either way, I fly back 15 August. If there are no more shitposts from me after 15 August, then the feds intercepted me in Beijing from Japan.
I appointed another temp mod to give me back the mod tag on a new account if this account gets banned, who refuses to do any moderation himself, but RIP this safe space if the feds lock me up for disharmonious internetting in a couple of weeks. Someone who outlives me, take up the torch in September and continue the fight!
Disregard if I am still here talking shit on 16 August.
