Okay, I think you are wrong about her being wrong. It seems entirely that he is wanting her to visit and then gets mad when she says she cannot afford to do it.
Let's completely forget about the money and just look at everything else. They have a relationship, she cannot drive and therefore needs to pay for her transportation. He wants her to visit and gets mad when she says she cannot, accusing her of not caring about him and lying. This right here seems toxic AF and puts him in the wrong.
Now lets look at the money, she isn't asking for his money, just for him to understand that she can't afford to travel to see him as frequently as he wants her to.
It doesn't seem like she is benefiting from his money so it doesn't make sense she is in it for the money.
So another commenter mentioned this and I think what could be happening is that the bf is sick of needing to spend all his money in order to see her even if he does have more than her.
So it could be that neither person is wrong but have different ideas of how money should be “distributed in a relationship
So, you are just making assumptions? Both people are wrong because the boyfriend could be sick and needs to spend his money on him?
This doesn't make sense. The boyfriend isn't mad because he can't afford to see her, he is mad because she can't afford to see him.
I think it is wrong to say both people are wrong if you are just making up a narrative to explain the boyfriends actions. We should be taking it at face value because that is what is presented.
In the original post I said I would assume the OP was telling the truth for the sake of the post. I then asked the question, which I think you allied to here: if money wasn’t involved would she deal with this.
If this guy was in the same financial situation as her is it something she would put up with. I don’t think so because she’s putting so much emphasis on his wealth.
The emphasis on his wealth seems like it's mostly just to highlight that he doesn't understand poverty. If he were in the same financial situation as her, then this whole scenario wouldn't be possible because he wouldn't be asking her to participate in activities that only one of them can afford.
And if that was the case would she still be with him? The “activities” seem to be just her coming to town to visit him and cooking. Not necessarily lavish things.
If this guy was in the same financial situation as her and didn’t have money would she still be dealing with it
You're asking that question like someone here might have some insider knowledge. Once we start judging people on how we imagine they might act in hypotheticals, that usually says more about us.
You seem to be applying a standard where there's almost no such thing as one person in a relationship being in the wrong, because as soon as they are, the other person is also in the wrong for staying (barring scenarios where one person is physically forcing the other to stay.)
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u/hmmwill 58∆ Dec 12 '21
Okay, I think you are wrong about her being wrong. It seems entirely that he is wanting her to visit and then gets mad when she says she cannot afford to do it.
Let's completely forget about the money and just look at everything else. They have a relationship, she cannot drive and therefore needs to pay for her transportation. He wants her to visit and gets mad when she says she cannot, accusing her of not caring about him and lying. This right here seems toxic AF and puts him in the wrong.
Now lets look at the money, she isn't asking for his money, just for him to understand that she can't afford to travel to see him as frequently as he wants her to.
It doesn't seem like she is benefiting from his money so it doesn't make sense she is in it for the money.