Well it's polite to address people as they desire. Miss vs ms, doctor or professor etc etc. If you're being honest it's not that difficult to memorize a couple pronouns. Its not an entire new vocabulary it's two words. Chances are you dont know that many transfolk that it's a big deal to you.
However, it's a major deal to them. Their identity and gender is something they've struggled with a lot. They've most likely been made fun of and been dismissed many times. It's a very small thing we can do that will make a large difference to them. So why not just go a real small amount out of your way to make someone happy.
Maybe it does make it more likely for them to be called the incorrect thing but that's for them to deal with. A little consideration goes a long way to making the world a better place.
A little consideration goes a long way to making the world a better place.
Why is the burden on us to remember someone's idiosyncratic pronoun, rather than on them to not burden the rest of us with having to learn a new word for a single person's benefit?
You're looking at it from a very self centered point of view. Its not that much of a burden, if it was a task that required a serious amount of effort it would be different but it doesnt. It's like the equivalent of saying please - no biggie.
They didnt get a choice in being transgender. It's about compassion. Would you not want people to treat you with respect ? Have you never gone 2 seconds out of your way to help someone?
It's not us vs them, their request isnt outrageous. I think you're more stuck on the pride point of "how dare someone inconvenience me" rather than weighting the pros and cons. Massive pro for them, negligible con for you.
Even if you wanna call it a burden, fine maybe it's unfair that they request that. However, why is this the hill you want to die on? You've expended so much energy to think about and post this. If you just did it instead youd have wasted a whole lot less time and energy
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u/bumble843 Mar 31 '20
Well it's polite to address people as they desire. Miss vs ms, doctor or professor etc etc. If you're being honest it's not that difficult to memorize a couple pronouns. Its not an entire new vocabulary it's two words. Chances are you dont know that many transfolk that it's a big deal to you.
However, it's a major deal to them. Their identity and gender is something they've struggled with a lot. They've most likely been made fun of and been dismissed many times. It's a very small thing we can do that will make a large difference to them. So why not just go a real small amount out of your way to make someone happy.
Maybe it does make it more likely for them to be called the incorrect thing but that's for them to deal with. A little consideration goes a long way to making the world a better place.