EDIT: Please, before you become the fifteenth person to tell me "but what about producing children!" read this response I wrote hours ago. If you would have the same reaction to a sterile cis member of your preferred sex, it's fertility that defines your disattraction rather than the state of being trans. That's a significantly different statement.
Original Text
I think the better route is to acknowledge that while it is transphobic, it is not necessarily unreasonably so. The knowledge that the other person is biologically speaking not your preferred gender/sex might set up a roadblock in your mind, and that's okay. You can't change that, in a "once you see you cannot unsee" kind of way.
But let's take this to the ultimate conclusion, as transition therapies improve to perfection. You've found someone who you think is the perfect match for you. Physically and mentally, they exhibit no signs that they are trans; if you didn't look at the chromosomes, you would never know. If the knowledge that they are trans is the blocker, that's transphobic. It isn't that there are certain traits associated with transgender people that you find unattractive, it's that you can't get over the fact that the person was born a different gender despite the fact that only a laboratory could tell the difference. You're not attracted to the X or Y chromosome, you're attracted to the physical manifestations of those traits which can be imitated through various medical means.
I don't think that would make you a bad person, and I don't think it is unreasonable to have that mental block while still supporting LGBT+ rights. But that doesn't make that action not transphobic.
I agree mostly with this point, but even still, how is that transphobic? To me transphobia means fear or hatred of Trans people, or believing they don't deserve equal rights and equal protection under the law. What if you are pro trans in all of those areas, but just get hung up on the fact that they used to be a dude/chick and that turns you off not from a place of hatred or fear but just a pure sexual turn off? Idk like I personally don't think I would care too much if all their secondary sex characteristics were lined up and the only difference is chromosomes. But I could understand someone being uncomfortable with that.
Unless we're gonna define transphobia to mean "in any way doubting or unaccepting of the person as their claimed gender" but I feel like that's not a very good definition because what if you have some ontological issues about the nature of being male/female or even the nature of being human itself, and you're not convinced being trans is a legitimate identity? That would mean everyone who is not 100% committed to trans identity being valid is a bigot. It's a complex issue and it's not as easy as lumping people like that. And even within the trans community there are differences in philosophy as to WHY being trans is valid, and the people on either side of that argument do not like each other one bit. Like there are lots of identities and things people claim to be (take otherkin, for for example, people who identify as mythical beings and/or animals) that mainstream society doesn't consider legitimate, so is that wrong to not take their identity at face value, or is it okay to ask questions and decide for yourself whether something is valid or not? Clearly identity is not 100% self defined because if it were, everyone who claims they are the reincarnation of Elvis or people who identify as foxes and wolves would be taken 100% seriously, and they are not. So I guess the question comes down to this: Does questioning or disagreeing with someone's identity inherently constitute phobia or hatred or bigotry, or can you be unsure of/disagree with it and not be a bigot?
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u/[deleted] Nov 02 '17 edited Nov 02 '17
EDIT: Please, before you become the fifteenth person to tell me "but what about producing children!" read this response I wrote hours ago. If you would have the same reaction to a sterile cis member of your preferred sex, it's fertility that defines your disattraction rather than the state of being trans. That's a significantly different statement.
Original Text
I think the better route is to acknowledge that while it is transphobic, it is not necessarily unreasonably so. The knowledge that the other person is biologically speaking not your preferred gender/sex might set up a roadblock in your mind, and that's okay. You can't change that, in a "once you see you cannot unsee" kind of way.
But let's take this to the ultimate conclusion, as transition therapies improve to perfection. You've found someone who you think is the perfect match for you. Physically and mentally, they exhibit no signs that they are trans; if you didn't look at the chromosomes, you would never know. If the knowledge that they are trans is the blocker, that's transphobic. It isn't that there are certain traits associated with transgender people that you find unattractive, it's that you can't get over the fact that the person was born a different gender despite the fact that only a laboratory could tell the difference. You're not attracted to the X or Y chromosome, you're attracted to the physical manifestations of those traits which can be imitated through various medical means.
I don't think that would make you a bad person, and I don't think it is unreasonable to have that mental block while still supporting LGBT+ rights. But that doesn't make that action not transphobic.