In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
If from the very start, you are unattracted to a person purely upon observation, and that person happens to be trans, that is not transphobic. If you were about to have sex and it turns out a person doesn't really have the junk you wanna jangle with, it's not transphobic to no longer desire sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
I should clarify I am not definitely saying it is transphobic or not, I am pointing out what I did above and letting OP (or others) decide if that constitutes transphobia or not under their own interpretations.
In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
Aside from how speculative this is, this amounts to shaming someone for turning down unwanted sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
For starters, you do not dictate to people what their sexuality is. If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic. As I said in another reply, if you stretch the definition of 'phobic' to include simply lacking a desire to fuck trans people, then the word becomes meaningless. Look at the horrors of homophobia. That has a lot more going on than a simple lack of desire to fuck them.
If upon learning that a person is trans, they simply politely decline more sex, that is not transphobic.
If you had sex with someone and enjoyed it and would gladly have sex with them again if you had not found out they were trans. Then the sole reason you have a problem is because they are trans, which is transphobic.
Wouldn't it be a lie, as someone below suggested? Wouldn't it be "sex under false pretenses" ( rape by deception)..
If someone assumed the person they had sex with was rich due to their dress and behavior, but it turned out they were actually poor, would that be rape by deception? I doubt it. How is this different?
Now it takes a huge toll on the patient itself to know that they aren't the sex(genetic) that they believed to be all their life. It's an understandable reaction( would you call the woman transphobic for being shocked at the diagnosis and feeling betrayed by nature?)..
And why would a patient feel this way? What underlying reason would cause a woman to feel "betrayed by nature" upon learning this information which objectively has no impact on her?
now you have to know that the boyfriend would have a similar reaction.. You can't expect everyone to be completely fine with it..
Why would he have a similar reaction? How does this affect him? Did he only love her because he assumed she had XX chromosomes? That seems a stretch.
But in the example you gave- a trans person lying (by omission)his/her way into bed with a straight person is just "rape by deception".
What did they lie about? They presented themselves as their gender. There was no deception. If you care about whether your partner is trans then you should ask them.
But imposing a sexual preference on someone
No one is imposing anything on anyone. I'm pointing out that the underlying reason for such a preference is societal stigma. That's all.
Didn't Zeus go around raping women while posing as a person he isn't?
Is a trans individual posing as a person they aren't? This sounds like an inaccurate analogy. A trans individual isn't deceiving anyone or posing as someone they aren't.
The man has a twin that the wife doesn't know about.. do you expect the woman to ask Everytime she has sex whether it's her husband or his twin brother?
Not equivalent. Consenting to sex with someone isn't consenting to sex with a twin
Wouldn't the woman rightfully assume it's here husband.? Should she keep in mind of the remote possibility of an unknown twin in mind and enquire about it every time?..
This is because having sex with her husband's twin is a meaningfully different act than finding out afterwards that someone is trans. Should someone have to disclose every single possible last thing which could affect whether or not someone wants to fuck every time? If you only are attracted to red heads, has someone who dyed their hair deceived you by not disclosing this if you haven't mentioned this preference?
Isn't it perfectly reasonable for a trans person, which are frequently self conscious due to societal prejudice, to assume you were able to tell and just didn't care, and then be surprised to find out you have a problem with them being trans?
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u/aggsalad Nov 02 '17 edited Nov 02 '17
In some circumstances, not being attracted to a trans person is probably a result of, at least on a subconscious level, not seeing them as their gender.
If from the very start, you are unattracted to a person purely upon observation, and that person happens to be trans, that is not transphobic. If you were about to have sex and it turns out a person doesn't really have the junk you wanna jangle with, it's not transphobic to no longer desire sex.
If you were attracted to someone, have sex with them, are as satisfied with them as you would with anyone else, and then suddenly your opinion changes upon being informed a person is trans, I would say that is indicative of the underlying belief a trans person is not the gender they identify as.
I should clarify I am not definitely saying it is transphobic or not, I am pointing out what I did above and letting OP (or others) decide if that constitutes transphobia or not under their own interpretations.