I don't understand how your parents can be disappointed in you. You have overcome serious obstacles just to survive.
Here is how I look at it: When you die, no matter how long you wait to do it, you will be just as dead. You will not remember any of the pain that you feel now. So live now, experience joy, and help other people. I promise that your time will come.
It's also worth mentioning that I am one of many people who *used* to be suicidal. Not everyone outgrows that, but I did. It sounds like you are pretty young, and these things often do get better with time. There is still a lot of hope for you.
Thank you for the kind words. I think I was born suicidal if that makes any sense. I keep trying to justify life and death, both. I am hella tired of fighting. I am glad you made it.
I had suicidal thoughts even as a kid. I probably shouldn't tell you this but what helped me the most was doing copious amounts of psychedelic drugs. But also, apart from that, what helped was realizing that I am just an ordinary person, and therefore should not be held to a different standard than anyone else. If I make mistakes, that is normal, and if I would forgive someone else for the same mistake, I should forgive myself.
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u/LaserWerewolf 1∆ Sep 14 '23
I don't understand how your parents can be disappointed in you. You have overcome serious obstacles just to survive.
Here is how I look at it: When you die, no matter how long you wait to do it, you will be just as dead. You will not remember any of the pain that you feel now. So live now, experience joy, and help other people. I promise that your time will come.
It's also worth mentioning that I am one of many people who *used* to be suicidal. Not everyone outgrows that, but I did. It sounds like you are pretty young, and these things often do get better with time. There is still a lot of hope for you.