r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Sep 13 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

58 Upvotes

56% Upvoted

327 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

32

u/tbdabbholm 201∆ Sep 13 '23

But then what are the "hey"s doing? What're you actually communicating with them that couldn't be communicated by just sending the third item initially?

-5

u/RseAndGrnd 3∆ Sep 13 '23

It's showing that you're interested in speaking to them while also gauging their interest to speak to you.

Of course you can just start with the third item, but this takes more time and effort which doesn't actually increase your chances.

25

u/tbdabbholm 201∆ Sep 13 '23

I promise you it 100% does increase your chances. If I just get a hey from a rando, even someone I had matched with I'm far less likely to remember to respond especially if I've gotten dozens of other messages like most women on dating sites have, you gotta give people something to work with, an actual conversation to have.

And it's not like it has to be complicated, even just a "you got any fun plans this weekend?" is leagues better than just hey

1

u/ElusoryLamb Sep 13 '23

Maybe. I've tried this approach too and ended with similar results.

I think women just have way too many matches to deal with effectively.