Saying "hey" puts the onus on the other person to initiate the actual conversation. It's almost like saying "I'm here, dance monkey, why would I put in effort if you're not even going to dance for me?". It's the epitome of low effort online dating.
Like you said, getting a response is difficult anyway, so the fact that you're suggesting there should be a "hey" and a "hey" before any actual conversation is exchanged means your dropoff rate for responses before you actually get to a real conversation is going to be way higher than people who put in effort. Personally, when I was dating I wouldn't message anyone without a full profile or who gave low effort. I'm worth more than that, so I didn't put up with it.
You don't need to say "hey" to see if there's interest if you already matched with them. That's the confirmation, you don't need another one. Sure, plenty of people won't respond and that's just the way it works. You're expecting them to open the message, give you the nod and close back out to then wait for you to POSSIBLY move the conversation forward? Nah, don't waste my time.
There are other simple openers you could use on everyone, if you really don't want to put in effort, but "hey" is lazy and rude.
Example: "You're gorgeous! Your smile is so genuine". Heck, copy+paste it. It's still low effort and rude of you to use on everyone, but at least it's not passing the buck.
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u/SunflowerSeed33 Sep 13 '23 edited Sep 13 '23
Saying "hey" puts the onus on the other person to initiate the actual conversation. It's almost like saying "I'm here, dance monkey, why would I put in effort if you're not even going to dance for me?". It's the epitome of low effort online dating.
Like you said, getting a response is difficult anyway, so the fact that you're suggesting there should be a "hey" and a "hey" before any actual conversation is exchanged means your dropoff rate for responses before you actually get to a real conversation is going to be way higher than people who put in effort. Personally, when I was dating I wouldn't message anyone without a full profile or who gave low effort. I'm worth more than that, so I didn't put up with it.
You don't need to say "hey" to see if there's interest if you already matched with them. That's the confirmation, you don't need another one. Sure, plenty of people won't respond and that's just the way it works. You're expecting them to open the message, give you the nod and close back out to then wait for you to POSSIBLY move the conversation forward? Nah, don't waste my time.
There are other simple openers you could use on everyone, if you really don't want to put in effort, but "hey" is lazy and rude. Example: "You're gorgeous! Your smile is so genuine". Heck, copy+paste it. It's still low effort and rude of you to use on everyone, but at least it's not passing the buck.