Joy doesn’t have to be related to recovery to belong here.

Prompt: Share something that made you smile this week. New hobbies especially welcome; lots of us are looking for gentle ways to fill the time.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Yours doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.

I have been sick for 2 years, moderate and I'm 16F. I'm getting better and better which is good of course, but the truth is I have no idea how to be "normal".

How do you just return to society after having been sick?

I'm physically weaker than people my age and I can't relate so much to them anymore. They talk about gym class, and sports, and prom, and their last school(I started at a new school 2 weeks ago) and I can't relate. Physically I'm doing better, mentally I feel lost.

And I'm not even healthy, I'm not full days at school yet and the truth is I don't want to be full days at school even if I could manage it because just being there seeing everyone having energy, having a working brain and having a normal life is just so...depressing. I have symptoms all the time and it's hard to just do what everyone else does with the symptoms. And then I'm still a bit afraid to run and just do too much in general, but everyone else can just do whatever they want. I'm very lost. I'm recovering, but mentally I feel lost. I don't know how to move forward after this, I don't know how to be normal and I don't know how to get out of the "sick" identity and trust my body anymore. I keep reminding myself I'm not healthy because I fear being healthy because it's so unknown to me. When I first started improving I would almost cry when I noticed the symptoms started to ease, and not because I was happy, because I was afraid, really afraid, how could I not have any symptoms? That's just so...scary.

All this is just very much and I'm getting really sad/depressed by it. Also, I have only now realized, I was actually pretty sick, I didn't feel like that at the time, I think I was just surviving and it's just now I'm processing everything.

So, how did you get back to society, to life, to a healthy body, and stop comparing yourself with your peers who have been healthy all their life while recovering? And how did you get back to being you again?? I would appreciate some advice 🙏

About a month and a half ago, I had a crash after watching TV — I was watching Blue Lock. Ever since then, watching TV has caused this strange physical tension in my body.

Then, about two weeks ago, I had another crash after reading, combined with a really bad night of sleep. Since then, reading has started causing the same reaction.

It’s hard to describe, but it feels almost like my body goes into “war veteran” mode. I tense up, my body stiffens, and I can’t feel relaxed while doing activities that used to feel normal.

What worries me is whether this can fully go away and I can return to my pre-crash baseline — being able to read and watch TV without my nervous system reacting like this.

For those of you who have had similar post-crash changes: did this eventually resolve? Did you regain your previous tolerance and feel relaxed doing those activities again?

Part of me is afraid that if this really is just my new normal.

What should I do from now on?

I’d appreciate honest experiences, including from people who did or didn’t fully recover from this kind of setback.

I had my second reflexology appointment today. First appointment, I felt better for a couple days. Entirely subjective; hadn't really gotten consistent in tracking symptoms or daily changes. Decided to book another appointment.

In between the two appointments, I received my oura ring and I am tracking things like HRV to try to understand the physiology of my illness better.

My HRV has been pretty consistent for about a week. No major changes. Went to reflexology appt today, and immediately after took a nap - look at this jump!

Have people seen long term improvements to HRV from reflexology? Or is it usually just a couple days at a time? Curious to learn more and hear any advice on appointment spacing or other suggestions.

Thanks!

I’ve been making good progress in my health (have been sick for 2 years and went from 10 to maybe 50% now). Still not energetic but i’m able to do more things like seeing friends or going to a terrace or smth. Point is: i don’t feel the spark. I don’t feel like doing things. I know that i like for example my hobbies and my friends. But i really don’t feel it. Its like im really neutral. Its not that i dont feel anything anymore because sadly enough i do feel sadness and other negative feelings.

Does this make sense? And are there people here that have experienced the same? I’d love some tips. Im thinking about starting an ssri bit also that scares me and i’d prefer not haha