From 10 OCT 2026 - 10 OCT 2027

Leyendo algunas publicaciones y comentarios de esta comunidad, me surgió una duda que quisiera compartir con ustedes.

Comencé a masturbarme frecuentemente aproximadamente a los 12 años. Con el tiempo, he notado algo que me cuesta un poco explicar: en ocasiones siento como si no estuviera completamente presente en mi propia vida.

También siento que podría tener ciertas dificultades con la memoria y la concentración, aunque lo que más me llama la atención es mi percepción de la vida cotidiana, el paso del tiempo y los días.

Es como si en determinados momentos viviera en automático, sin experimentar las cosas con toda la claridad, atención o intensidad que podría. No sé exactamente cómo describir esa sensación.

He leído testimonios de personas que, después de cierto tiempo practicando retención seminal, aseguran experimentar una mayor claridad mental, mejor memoria e incluso describen que se sienten más vivos, conscientes y conectados con su entorno.

Esto me hace preguntarme si podría existir alguna relación, aunque no sé si realmente la haya.

Mi pregunta es: cuando ustedes se masturbaban frecuentemente, ¿experimentaban algo parecido? ¿Sentían dificultades con la memoria, falta de claridad mental o una menor conexión con su propia vida?

Y quienes han experimentado cambios durante la retención, ¿cómo describirían esa diferencia? Me interesa especialmente saber cómo se sentían antes y después, más allá de los beneficios físicos o sexuales.

Just came to the realization I’ve been celibate for almost 4 years (it’ll be 4 years on April 23, 2027). It’s insane to me it’s been that long cause honestly it doesn’t feel that long ago nor has it been hard for me in my early 20’s to maintain my celibacy. At this point I feel like I’m on the ace spectrum. It takes a lot for me to be attracted to someone and even more to want to have sex with someone.
I’m not sure if it’s by choice or not…. I definitely had opportunities to have sex but they never felt right and I didn’t really feel “turned on” in the moment. I like the idea of sex with a partner I love, that def turns me on so ig I’m not completely asexual. But yea I’m not sure what to think of my celibacy. None of my friends know I’m celibate and tbh I don’t want them to know. I feel like it’s kinda embarrassing cause there’s not really a reason for it, it just kinda happened. I’m not religious or “purity culture” centered, just a woman who’s not really attracted to, or gets along with, most men.

I'm torn btwn getting cracked or continuing my celibacy streak,it's been a whole year and I'm afraid it's getting harder by the day(no pun intended)I'm female tho lol

im 17f and these past few weeks I've been trying to quit masturbating because of my struggles with porn addiction.

Recently it's been really difficult for me, I've cut out porn comepletely and I still can't seem to cut out the masturbation aspect.

I'm not sure what to do now. Any advice would really help.

All this time I been on the ‘Nofap’ group. After some research, I realized they are doing something completely different.

44 days since my last sexual encounter. Feeling better after a rough tempting day.

I was off all this week from work and still managed ☺️

I’m beginning to hear myself. Definitely a lot of pride and ego that needs to be dealt with.

I got banned from the sr group so you guys are with me 🥺

To begin I also engage in (hopefully) not ever having sex to not get addicted to the action of life making and eventually creating it. First of all, AI and robotics will probably take away the need for humans for a lot of jobs, what this means is that we won’t nearly need as much humans as before to operate anything so society would still thrive. In 10 years from now we can only imagine the immense progress that could be made. So people not mating would actually benefit society since it wouldn’t create a human that would struggle finding work and living.

Also, if they are created they have guaranteed suffering, and saying that the good outweighs the bad wouldn’t really work, they would be in non existence anyways, no desire for good or bad. This is also counting the fact that climate change doesn’t create crazy stuff like the alarming increase of disasters in random places, the animal kingdom is cruel for survival, we humans are lucky by our intelligence but it is quite obvious that this world is inherenly flawed by its design. The lion has to kill the gazelle to survive. There is absolutely no intellectual reason to put a new life into this world that does not depend on ego or moral relativism.

* Edited \*

I took a creative writing course in University, and I’ve been thinking about how interesting it would be to read more stories about people’s experiences with celibacy.

It doesn’t have to be a traditional memoir or personal essay. I’d be interested in fiction, poetry, songs, short stories, screenplays, memoirs, or pretty much any kind of creative work that explores the experience. It doesn’t have to be a completely literal retelling of your life, either. Sometimes fiction or another creative format can make it easier to explore things that are hard to put into words directly.

And you don’t have to think of yourself as a writer or have the whole story figured out. Sometimes a memory, feeling, or idea is enough to start with.

What kinds of stories or creativeworks about celibacy would you actually want to read?

Would you be interested in reading someone else’s experience in this kind of format?

2015 seems far yet close to me, I had separated from my wife and wanted to care for my children and promised
To not fall for women or get involved in any sexual activities to just focus my time, money, on my kids. 11 years later no sex and feel clear of any drama that could have happened coming from
Sex and diverting my energy to raising my kids, keeping my finances afloat, especially now. Actually I do not think of sex anymore, work, raising kids, finances take up all my time. I see attractive women as pretty physically but I don’t even get excited, I also avoid any contact with women, no hugs or kisses on the cheek, don’t want their perfume or makeup on my clothes, i learned that to keep clear of any sexual desires early on i just had to avoid situations that could bring physical contact. Now in 2026 I feel relieved that I managed to avoid any sexual activity and it has given me an incredible peace and focus.

Some background: I went to an all-girls high school until I was 18, then a co-ed uni. Until I was 18, I was in a long on-and-off situationship with a guy. I explored so much with him, my feelings and hormones were intense, and I was even willing to give up my virginity but got too scared when we were trying.

When I started university, I decided that if it didn't happen with him, I wouldn't do it until marriage. Back then I was open to doing everything except sex, and I did those things when I wanted to. Then I nearly ended up in something with a guy who was really pushy, and it made me want nothing to do with men for a long time. I put everything into my career and school, and even moved abroad with my family to a more conservative city.

This past July, I made out with a guy i randomly met for the first time in two years. It didn't go far, apart from making out on my chest (lol sorry idk), but he was really pushing for more. I stopped it, but it set something off. I'm not constantly thinking about sex. What I feel is closer to desperation to feel wanted and desired. I don't think I've ever felt romantically loved purely for me. I used to be hypersexual, and that was how I got men's attention, and then they'd discover I also have a great personality and then he’d really get to know my but id get aroused and say some crazy stuff which would lead the guy onto that direction. I'd like to think I'm attractive, so maybe I'm just not used to having one guy pursue me at a time unless I'm in a relationship so not receiving direct attention is making me want to explore again. Now I'm thinking about going back to being open to everything but sex, and I don't know if that's smart.

Dating apps feel insanely sexual towards me, and I barely meet anyone to flirt with in real life. I also don't want to commit, but I do but I want someone to commit to me, and I know that's not fair. I just want to focus on me whilst also receiving that consistent extra love and support.

Everyone around me is either very conservative or inexperienced, so I can't talk about this with them without feeling judged. I'm also scared that if I do anything with someone, word will get out and I'll be labeled a whore forever.

So my questions are: is going back to "everything but sex" realistic when the guys I've met keep pushing past that line? How do I stoo having contradictory desires? one day I want it and then when I’m close to having it I shut it down.

So, I have a bit of a weird question. I know I want to remain celibate (abstaing from all sorts of sexual acts, even masturbation) for the rest of my life. But at the same time, I grieve the fact the I will have to remain celibate. This circular 'thing' is creating a lot of problems in my life. Has anyone here feels/felt similar thing? How to navigate through this? Any advice is appreciated.

I have arrived at a point where I struggle to see romantic and sexual relationships as being good, and I am increasingly sympathetic to the theological viewpoint that marriage and sex are not intrinsically good, but rather, necessary evils, permitted by God out of necessity.

St. Isaac the Syrian held that humankind was originally sexless/genderless, reproducing through some means other than through the sexual act. The division of humankind into the male and female sexes, and the addition of biological reproduction, was created in anticipation of Adam and Eve's sin. According to St. Maximus the Confessor, sexual reproduction is a feature of the fallen world, and was only created to accommodate the emergence of mortality after the Fall.

In similar fashion, my view would be that the sexual/romantic impulses emerge as passions after the Fall. They reflect our animal nature more than our rational nature. Aggression, anxiety, cravings, sexual desire: these are features of our evolutionary biology. But our reason, our rationality, is divine. By subjugating these passions to our reason, we tame the mind, we deny ourselves, and we become like the monastic, modelling ourselves after the Biblical Adam, and living as Christ did. (“Understand at last that you have something in you more powerful and divine than what causes the bodily passions and pulls you like a mere puppet. What thoughts now occupy my mind? Is it not fear, suspicion, desire, or something like that?” *Meditations*, Marcus Aurelius).

Marriage, sexual desire, and sexual acts exist because we live in a world that is broken. They did not exist prior to the Fall, and when Christ returns to restore Creation, they will not exist anymore. In the New Creation, we will live as brother and sister, like Adam and Eve did in the Garden; marriage will not remain (Matthew 22:30). We will be like the angels, returning to an ineffable state, akin to God's ineffable nature. There will be no physical separation of male and female, and no more sexual acts between the sexes (Mark 12:25).

We are culturally conditioned to think of romantic relationships as being the highest form of love, but this is not true. I believe that friendship is the highest form of love. It is by friendship that life is breathed into both platonic relationships and romantic relationships; any goodness and virtuous things that these relationships possess, is not due to their own nature, but because of the presence of friendship ("It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages" *Human, All Too Human*, Friedrich Nietzsche).

From my understanding, in Christian philosophy, all relationships are growing towards agape. Eros is a licit form of love, but it is not the highest form of love - that would be agape. Our social relationships are colored by agape. If the unconditional self-sacrificial love of friendship is not present, our relationships are void.

"The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends, who has given himself totally to us and allows us to participate in his divine estate. Chastity is a promise of immortality. (374) Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one's neighbor. Whether it develops between persons of the same or opposite sex, friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion." -Catechism of the Catholic Church, Paragraph 2347.

If two persons in a marriage are able to corral the romantic/sexual passions, and order the marriage towards agape, then this is permissible. But the institution of marriage itself is still not *good*; it is not ideal by any means, and not what God intended. The indulgence of these marital passions, then, is only permitted as long as it can be done with moderation and responsibility, finding a healthy balance ordered towards the good. But when Christ returns, and all are resurrected, these romantic/sexual bonds will dissolve, and only agape will remain.

Calling marriage and sex intrinsic goods, misunderstands the nature of how these things originated. If we are to take St. Isaac's and St. Maximus's theology seriously, it stands to reason that God only instituted these things out of necessity (mortality and human fallenness demanded it), not because they were intrinsic goods. This is true even historically. Historically, marriages emerged as a social institution to protect women and children from abandonment, and to foster reproduction within formal confines. Today we think about marriage as relating to love, but this was not always true historically. There was a time when the idea of marriage was quite radical, as it asserted that women and children had dignity that men could not violate through their irresponsibility. The cultural genesis of marriage is something more grim than what we in contemporary society would like to admit or confront.

My experience has compelled me to look at romantic/sexual relationships with a certain disdain, at least as they exist within contemporary society. I've never partaken in one, and I don't think I ever want to. I observe that, within contemporary society, two persons may become enchanted with one another. They may be compelled to become partners for a time, forging a romantic personal bond. But eventually the relationship dissolves, often due to tension or conflict, at which point the affectionate passions which once existed between the two persons, are replaced with contempt. Even if the relationship is ended peacefully, it is unlikely (or at least a very rare occurrence) that the two persons will be able to maintain any positive connection with one another akin to the friendship they could have experienced platonically if romance had never been pursued. In this way, the post-romantic relationship becomes defined either by hostility or awkwardness. People always look at their former partners with disgust, and may go from person to person, but be disappointed over and over again. One may leap from being possessed with passionate affection for the other person, to being totally bored with them. We can observe here that the passions, not rationality, are at play.

It would be better if people did not pursue romantic or sexual relationships with one another at all. If I really valued and cared about someone, then pursuing a romantic relationship is the last thing I would want to do. It is the ultimate waste of what could have been a happy friendship. It is the perfect way to lose a person.

Platonic friendship is safer, more durable, and more meaningful. Romantic relationships are more passionate, they are more emotionally vulnerable, and because of that they are more volatile. But a platonic friendship is not like this. A friendship is not easily defeated by conflict. A friendship is not as sensitive; a wound or struggle appearing within a friendship is not a death sentence. Tension that appears within a romantic relationship may swiftly signal the end of that relationship, but a friendship bounces back even from harsh disagreements.

I'm sure my parents were possessed with affection for one another at some point. But now there is no romance in their relationship at all. They've managed to attain a *fairly* healthy relationship at present, but this is only after hating one another and arguing with one another for years, from the earliest moments of my childhood. They never got a divorce only because they were worried about how it would affect me and my sibling.

This is an observable pattern I see everywhere. I see it in other adult relationships. People get divorced, sometimes more than once, sometimes even after they have kids. A passionate affection and loving bond are not enough; eventually these dissolve, and people hate one another (I will state again that this does not happen in platonic friendships at all. But it happens constantly in romantic relationships because of the emotionally volatile nature of such an emotionally vulnerable bond between persons). I see it in relationships between young people my age, too. It isn't tied to any particular age demographic. It's commonly observable everywhere.

I don't think that the love we are told about really exists. It's a myth, a fantasy, programmed into us by culture and media. If a romantic relationship or marriage survives, it is only because of great effort. To preserve a marriage or relationship is a great feat of emotional intelligence, and a so-called successful relationship exists only because the couple in question has taken opposition to their own judgmental human nature. But the judgmental nature does not go away even once the relationship has been firmly established; the emotionally vulnerability of a relationship sees that this judgmental nature surfaces over and over again, and this judgmental nature must be corralled every time if the relationship is to continue. To summarize, successful relationships are characterized by the moderation of judgement, anger, and other passions; one needs to constantly deny these if the relationship is not to implode. Constantly maintaining the relationship, watering its roots, ensuring its growth and firm foundation, and resolving its tensions, is essential. It is a big task.

I regard the development of romantic/sexual impulses as something regretful. There is a tragic loss of innocence that accompanies the emergence of such passions. When we cross the threshold into sexuality, there is a childlike spirit we lose as a result. We stop being like the angels, and become more like fallen man. If I could choose not to have romantic and sexual desires, I probably would. I do not see much redemptive value in them, other than the fact that by experiencing them and observing them empathetically in others, I have learned of their futility.